Misery's Son
by pixie518
Summary: **Repost** Almost a year has passed since Seifer's self-imposed exile from Balamb Garden. To what lengths will Squall go in order to find him and bring him home? ***Yaoi*** ~Chapter 17 uploaded...finally!~
1. Chapter One

Hello again.  Some of you may remember this story from before fanfiction shut me down, but I've decided to post it again since so many people seem to miss it.  Bear with me while I find all my old files and I am working on an update.  I'll be posting the next fifteen chapters just as soon as I find them.  ~_^.  I wouldn't mind a review or two, just to let me know you're still interested.

As we all know, I make no claim on Final Fantasy 8 or it's characters, except for the Seifer that resides in my imagination.  He's a much bigger sap than the original, I'll admit.  This story contains *****YAOI*** **and quite a bit of it, so if that sort of thing offends you, then you might want to take off.  However, there is also a beautiful backdrop to all the smooching and loving that I plan to have happen between my boys so if you're interested in actual plot, stick around.

Prologue 

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Inner Conflicts Someday you will ache like I ache… 

            "Are you going to stay out here all night?"  Her soft voice drifted toward him.  Even speaking so softly, he could hear her melodious voice.  There wasn't even a wind to stir the leaves in the trees.  It truly was the still of the night.

            "Hadn't really thought about it."  He answered honestly as he let the lights of this place that he loved spill over him.  Even in the darkness Balamb Garden shone like a beacon.  Squall knew the lights that so lit up the interior were not visible from the outside.  Any outsiders staring up at the gates of this place would never know precisely how beautifully illuminated the inside could be.  Unless that outsider had once been inside, that is.

            "Squall, you have to snap out of this.  He's gone.  He's _been gone for months and no one knows where he is."_

            Squall didn't answer as he listened to her, the ever-present voice of reason, tell him why the guilt that plagued him was not his burden to bear.

            "He made his choice, Squall.  It was her or us.  He chose.  It's really that simple."  

            She moved closer to him, wanting to offer him the comfort that simple human touch could bring, but knowing in her heart that he would not welcome it.  He turned to her slightly, the lights behind him highlighting his beautiful, graceful profile in such a way that Quistis quite forgot to draw breath.  Just looking at him made her heart ache, each glance he bestowed on her like a dagger to her heart because she knew, despite the closeness they'd begun to share, he would never be hers.

            He sighed then, the fur at his collar heaving with his intake of breath.

            "Nothing's ever that simple, you know that."  

            How she hated to hear that defeated tone of voice coming from her lion.  But Quistis was afraid that there was really nothing that would make him snap out of it.  When he was like this, brooding and reflective, no words from her could bring him back.  Such was his nature and she'd long ago learned to accept him for what he was.

            "What else can you do, Squall?  If he doesn't want to be found, you won't find him.  This is what he wants."

            Squall turned then, his eyes alight with something she'd never seen before.  She was hard pressed to put a name to it.  But the storm was brewing in his eyes again and so she would let him speak.

            "Quistis, we don't know what he wants.  We never did.  What I do know is that we could've stuck by him, forgiven him.  Maybe he wouldn't have done what he did."

            Quistis did touch him then, her hand feather-light on his arm.  He flinched, although she was certain he couldn't feel her touch through the leather of his jacket.

            "Squall.  I'm not certain.  About him, about anything.  But I do know that he was one of us once and it just wasn't enough.  And now that things have changed and that terrible war is behind us, where is he?"

            Squall moved out of her reach and he didn't miss the hurt look she gave him.

            "I don't know where he is.  But I'm going to find him and when I do, I'm going to convince him to come back.  We owe him that."  He said determinedly.

            "What do we owe him, Squall?  He fought us eagerly; he tried to kill you not once but twice.  Have you forgotten the D-district…"

            Squall cut her off with a forbidding look.

            "I haven't forgotten any of it.  The things we did in the name of preservation, of peace, it haunts me still.  But I don't blame him.  He was only doing what he was driven to do and I remember once upon a long time ago when we really weren't so different.  He was part of us."

            Quistis turned her back to him, knowing that to disagree was futile.  His mind was made up and when that happened, Squall would do what Squall wanted to do.  Why he bothered rationalizing to her she couldn't guess, but she would listen as long as he wanted to speak.  Because to hear him, and to have him hear her in return, was all she'd ever wanted.

            "Find him then.  Bring him back.  Redeem him if you can.  But how, I ask you, will you ever make Zell understand why you need to do this."

            Squall regarded her intently.  "There's no need for me to explain my actions to Zell, or anyone else for that matter."

            "There's a need, Squall.  How can you be so blind?  It will seem as though Zell isn't enough.  He knows how you feel about Seifer, how you've always felt about him.  He could see it when no one else could and the reason is because he loved you so much himself."  _As I do to this very day…_

"I'll try to make him understand.  I don't want him to be hurt, you know that.  But I will do what must be done."  He told her stubbornly.

            "I didn't expect anything else from you, Squall.  I just want you to consider the path you've chosen.  This is not going to be easy and there will be repercussions."

            He nodded solemnly, turning his gaze out toward the quad, closing his eyes as a slight breeze ruffled his hair.

            "The winds are changing."  He murmured, not really speaking to her as much as to himself.  "It's time."  

            And then he turned to face her, his gunmetal eyes burning with a resolve that she could see even in the shadowy light.

            "I need to know you'll back me in this."  He told her.

            Her heart thrilled to think he cared for her opinion now, when before he couldn't even be bothered to wish her good night.

            "I'll do whatever you need me to do, Squall.  I just pray to Hyne that we don't live to regret this."

            Squall pulled his jacket closer around his spare frame.

            "Not as much as I do."  He agreed.

            "When will you go?"  She asked lightly, her stomach twisting anxiously as she considered the risk he was taking.

            "At dawn."  He said resolutely.

            "Well," She breathed, her heart heavy, "We still have a lot to do."  

            She paused when he didn't answer and looked him over carefully, seeing him as though for the first time.

            "Will you tell Zell the truth about this?"  She had to know.

            Squall met her gaze evenly and blinked once.

            "I'll tell him whatever he wants to know."  He promised.  But then he turned at the door that would take them back into the Training Center.

            "My life is my own, Quistis.  I don't owe anyone any explanations."

            It was his way of letting her know where he stood, where Zell stood.  He would not be swayed, by anyone.  No matter the consequences.

"I never thought otherwise."  She told him, and silently followed him into the Center knowing that when they parted ways tonight, he would leave her in his usual fashion.  With silence and indifference, because he just didn't know any other way.  Quistis prayed to the Gods that this pilgrimage he was so hell bent on would not disillusion him further.  She didn't know what another betrayal would do to him, to all of them.  All she could do was pray…and wait.


	2. Chapter Two

Encounters 

Squall spotted him the minute he'd come striding out of the hotel, that long-legged gait, wide shoulders, the few strands of flaxen hair that he never could quite keep from spilling over his forehead.  Squall would know him anywhere, and never even have to see his face.  He looked much the same as he always did, his hair was styled the same, his boots were the same, a little scarred, maybe, but that was to be expected.  

            Surprisingly enough, no one even turned to glance his way when he walked by.  Strange to realize his reign of terror hadn't lasted long, people didn't seem to notice his presence when of course they knew who he was.  They _had to know.  Squall felt sorrow for what Seifer had become, when once he'd had everything it took to be a leader.  Now he looked as though life had kicked him one too many times and he no longer had the fire in him.  The way he walked down the street, seemingly invisible to everyone, including himself, spoke volumes to Squall.  He was a man defeated; a man lost and here was his chance to make things right again._

            He followed him covertly, taking care to maintain a certain distance between them.  While he had no idea where Seifer would go next, Squall would follow and by the time he'd reached Seifer's side he hoped he'd have the right words to give him.  Explaining his presence in Esthar would be relatively easy, given the fact that his father was President here.  But somehow Squall doubted that Seifer would be privy to any of the details regarding life in Balamb Garden after his departure.  Any information he could have gleaned simply by listening to people talk in bars would be limited, at best.  Squall wondered if Seifer's interest had extended to Balamb at all.  After all, he'd had friends there, once.  And now, without those friends behind him, whom did he have to turn to, to depend on?  Squall's suspicions about that were what had led him here in the first place. And it was all hinged on the condition that Seifer wanted to see him at all.  

            Quistis had struck a nerve with her talk of his feelings toward Seifer.  They were ambiguous to say the least but one thing held true throughout everything that happened.  Something inside of him, some weakness within himself would not allow Seifer's image to fade completely from his mind.  Even when his hatred for Seifer had burned brighter than anything he could imagine, some part of him had loved him still.

             Interesting when you considered that Seifer had never made any sort of overtures toward Squall.  The electricity that existed between them had been unspoken, always.  And Squall had done his best to see to it that an opportunity for Seifer to reveal his feelings would never arise.  For then where would they be?  No, it was better for everyone and easier for them in particular to simply hate.  And so they'd hated, fiercely, but what now?  

            Squall took this opportunity to scrutinize Seifer's appearance undetected.  He moved through the crowds of people without glancing around to see if anyone watched him.  Squall knew that Seifer was used to drawing glances, but now, he imagined that the stares he garnered were not the sort that Seifer had grown accustomed to while he was head of the Disciplinary Committee.  Those people who did notice him weren't looking at him with admiration or awe.  Their feelings about him were clear enough to read.  He was a defector; a betrayer and no one wanted to know him now.

            Seifer appeared untouched by the scornful glares he occasionally drew.  To some, he was just another face in a crowd, but to those whose lives had been touched directly by the Sorceress' War, he was beyond contempt.

            He appeared not to notice the more hostile glances that were aimed at him, whether he was actually aware or not, Squall couldn't guess.  He wore gray pants that hung more loosely on his hips than usual; he looked a bit leaner.  There was no sign of his trenchcoat, he carried no weapon.  His vest was open and flapped in the breeze as he picked up speed, apparently eager to be free of the crowd.  Squall wondered where he stayed, or if he even had somewhere to stay at all.

            As he followed him, watched him from behind, it all felt so surreal, as though he were moving within a dream.  One that he'd had a hundred times since he'd last lay eyes on Seifer Almasy.  Squall felt the familiar twinge and recognized it for what it was.  It was the feeling that he'd thought he'd buried long ago, so deep that it would never again see the light of day.  How naïve he'd been to think he could simply turn his back on this, on _him._

            Soon enough the crowded streets and city lights gave way to starry skies, trees and jagged edges of cliffs with the occasional patch of grass.  Squall became aware of the change in the air, the cooler temperature, the wind that ruffled his collar, and he shivered slightly.  Soon he would have to make his presence known and he grew uneasy when he realized that he'd followed Seifer out into the middle of nowhere.  They were completely alone.  But this was what he'd come for, what he'd traveled so far to accomplish, the moment of truth was at hand and he was determined to see it through to whatever end would come.

            Seifer paused to lean casually against the base of a cliff, casually looking out into an almost dry riverbed.  He was still, eerily so, and Squall stood silently, berating himself for coming so far and yet having no idea of what he planned to say.  And then the voice that he'd heard so many times in his sleep since the war had ended broke into his reverie and took him back to a place he was sure he'd left behind.

            "Did you follow me down here to finish me off, Commander?  Not really your style, is it, to be so sneaky?"  

            There was a flash of light and Seifer's profile was visible for only a second as he lit his cigarette casually, shaking out the match and then tossing it aside.  Squall heard his first deep draw on the cigarette and then he focused entirely, insanely, on the glowing tip while he tripped through his jumbled thoughts for an appropriate response.  Seifer laughed quietly, a decidedly mirthless sound.  It sounded hollow to Squall's ears.

            "Well, you haven't changed much, I see.  Still don't have much to say, do you?"

            Squall made a move in Seifer's direction, denial on the edge of his tongue, but not quick enough, it seemed.

            "Don't come any closer.  I don't want to have to kill you, Squall."

            Squall's eyes widened and his heartbeat accelerated as he began to realize the potential danger he'd placed himself in.  He felt absently for the hilt of his gunblade and breathed an easy breath as he fingered its comforting solidity.  Seifer had his back turned to him still, but his voice had tightened and his stance had stiffened significantly.

            "Don't even think about it."  Seifer warned him gruffly and Squall pulled his hand away reflexively.

            "I didn't come here to kill you."  His voice was husky from going days without so much as uttering a word to anyone.  "When did you realize I was following you?"  He asked hesitantly, a little mollified at having his stealth compromised.  

            "When I left the hotel.  I saw you through the crowd."  

            Squall narrowed his eyes in the darkness.  "So you led me out here…to what?"  The irritation in his voice brought a small smile to Seifer's lips.  Some things never changed, it seemed.

            "I didn't want to get any blood on the sidewalks.  In case you didn't notice, I'm not real popular here."  He said with a self-deprecating laugh.

            Squall began to focus his gaze on Seifer, the long lines of his body slowly sharpening in the darkness.

            "It's a big city."  Squall answered vaguely.

            "Yeah, well, bad news travels fast, you know?  No matter how far you go, it follows you."

            Squall took a halting step in Seifer's direction; careful to keep his voice low and modulated, much as one did when approaching a wild animal.

            "I don't want to kill you, Seifer.  I've come a long way to find you.  You're not an easy man to find, you know."  He added wryly.

            Seifer turned to face him then, his expression wary, his body poised for flight.

            "Why did you come, then?"  He demanded, all pretense gone.

            Squall paused, considering his words carefully.  If he said the wrong thing, his journey would have been in vain.  He couldn't go back to Balm knowing he'd failed…again.  

            "I wondered how you were getting by."  He said honestly, leaving out all the things he'd wanted to say.

            Seifer made a disbelieving voice and moved closer to Squall, the moon shedding very little light, wreathing Seifer's face in shadows; all dark planes and angles.

            "You came all this way to see how I was doing?"  He snorted.  "Try again."  

            "Well, actually, I was planning to visit…"  

            Seifer cut him off. "Dear old Dad?  Don't think so, Leonhart, try it one more time, and make it your last."

            Squall bowed his head, closing his eyes against the haunting familiarity of Seifer's clear voice, his green, green eyes.

            "I came here for you."  He muttered, almost inaudible, but he knew Seifer had heard him.  "I came to take you back."

            Seifer backed away.  "I'm not going back to Balamb, Squall, you can just forget that shit.  I've survived this long on my own, and I've done okay.  I won't let you drag me back there to be locked away for the rest of my life."  He whispered urgently, the emotion in his voice knocking Squall back like a sucker punch.

            "You think I came all this way to have you locked away?"  The disbelief in his voice didn't escape Seifer, and if he knew anything about Leonhart, it was that he didn't lie – ever.

            "Why else would you spend so much time looking for me?"  He asked.

            Squall took his chances and moved closer still, so close that the scar on Seifer's forehead was plainly visible to him.

            "I feel responsible for what you've gone through."  He paused, silent for a few seconds as he recalled the long months that had passed in Seifer's absence.

            "We deserted you when you needed us.  We could have stuck by you then.  If we had, maybe you wouldn't be here right now."

            Seifer cocked his head, searching Squall's face for any hint of deception.  He found none.

            "My actions were my own, Squall.  I deserve whatever fate hands me, it's nothing you need to concern yourself with."  He looked over Squall's shoulder, the city lights just barely visible on the horizon.

            "Go home, Squall.  You can't save me.  I'm beyond redemption and you know it."

            Squall halted him then, when he would have brushed past him and left him alone in the dark.

            "Come back with me, Seifer.  We can change things, you can come home, it doesn't have to end like this."  

            Seifer smiled, a small, lopsided grin that Squall had never seen before.  The breath halted in his chest.

            "You know what they say, Leonhart.  You can't ever go home again."  

            "You're not a quitter, Almasy.  I thought you were better than this."  It was his last ditch effort to make him see reason.

            Seifer grabbed Squall's collar and pulled him close, so close that he could feel the taller boy's breath on his cheek.

            "Don't mind-fuck me, Squall.  I'm not the kid I used to be.  I'm not the person you remember.  Just forget all about me and go back to your Garden.  I don't want to go down that road again, not even for you."

            And then he released him as suddenly as he'd come upon him and he was striding away from Squall with more determination than he really felt.  The ache in his chest was his punishment, the price he'd pay for his pride.  But his pride was all he had left, and to Seifer, he had nothing else.  And so he walked away, even though it felt like he'd had his heart ripped from his body.  _His heart, he laughed silently.  And he'd thought it was gone forever.  Damn you, Leonhart…_

***

_*to be continued_


	3. Chapter Three

Reflection 

            Squall gave him about a twenty-second head start before he fell right into step behind him, heading back toward the city.  He hoped that Seifer didn't think those few words would dissuade him in the least.  However convincing he might have sounded, Squall was willing to bet his position in the Garden that Seifer was all alone here, with no immediate plans for the future.  Judging by the edge in his voice, he probably didn't imagine he even had a future.  

            Taking a firm grip on his own determination, Squall decided that he'd use whatever means necessary to bring him back.  Goading him into a fight always seemed to work, so he'd resort to that, if necessary.

            Focused so completely on his own plan of action, Squall didn't realize that he was standing toe to toe with Seifer until it was too late to turn around.

            "I told you to go home, Leonhart."  He repeated grimly.  Squall shrugged.

            "I don't give up that easily."  He told him.

            Seifer raised an eyebrow.  "Could have fooled me."  He murmured and felt almost sorry that he'd said the words as he watched Squall flinch.

            "I didn't think you'd welcome me with open arms, Almasy.  I came here prepared to persuade you."  

            Seifer regarded him warily.  "I don't know if I like the sound of that."  He joked.  And Squall simply stared, unblinkingly, as he realized that Seifer was teasing him.  Seifer, joking?  _Poor guy must be even lonelier than I thought._

Seifer sighed wearily, his chest heaving with the effort and he gave Squall a direct look, one that had never failed to pin him right to the wall.

            "Tell, me, Squall.  What's in it for you?"

            "I don't have any ulterior motives.  I've told you why I'm here and I'm not going to repeat myself again."  He said stubbornly.

            Seifer leaned against the side of a building, crossing his arms over his chest, the muscles in his forearms flexing involuntarily as he moved.

            "You don't know what you're getting yourself into."  He told him solemnly.

            Squall shook his head and curbed the urge to smile.  "Who would know better than me?"  He asked.

            Seifer looked away then, not really at anything in particular, simply taking in his surroundings.  Needing somewhere to look other than at the boy who stood in front of him.

            "If you were smart you'd have stayed at Garden.  Forget about me, Squall, it's over now.  Whatever's done is done and we can't go back."  

            "I'm not interested in going back."  Squall reminded him.  "I'm interested in what's ahead."

            Seifer furrowed his brow and glanced at Squall for the briefest of seconds before his gaze wandered again.

            "There's nothing ahead, not for me.  The people of Balamb would never forget that you brought a traitor home, and you know it."

            "Everyone deserves a second chance, even you.  You're a son of Balamb, Seifer, above anything else."

            Seifer turned his unflinching emerald stare on Squall and held him in place with only those eyes.

            "I'm no one's son."

            Squall was unprepared for the pain that accompanied those casually delivered words.  Because if Seifer was no one's son, what did that make the rest of them?  

            Realizing that he was losing this battle, he stepped forward, crowding Seifer with his own presence, daring him not to see him, not to listen.

            "Things will be different this time, I promise you.  Give it a chance will you?  What have you got to lose?"  He asked.

            Seifer stood stiffly, entirely too affected by Squall's proximity to really consider the question he was being asked.  

            "Well?"  Squall prompted, his eyes so silver in the moonlight that they appeared transparent.

            "What have I got to lose?  My self-respect, for one.  My life, for another.  Do you know how many people would pay for a chance to kill me?"

            Squall shook his head, annoyed by Seifer's single-mindedness.  "It wouldn't be like that, Seifer.  You'd be a protected member of Balamb Garden, I would personally see to it."

            Seifer looked unconvinced, but at least he wasn't arguing and Squall interpreted it as progress.          

            "Look.  Give it six months.  If you still feel the same way, I'll help you get settled somewhere else, somewhere you feel comfortable."

            The familiar rage flickered through the emerald depths of Seifer's eyes.

            "I don't need your pity, Leonhart.  You think you're some kind of Saint?  Condescending to associate with me when the whole world despises me.  I don't need anything from you, or from anyone else."

            Squall resisted the urge to punch him.  Seifer's pride.  He should've remembered to tread more carefully around it.

            "I'm not doing this out of charity."  He told him.

            Seifer straightened, abandoning his slouched position, which brought them even closer to one another.  He could feel the same old sparks they'd always struck off of each other, and he was still just sick enough to get the tiniest thrill from it.

            "Then why are you doing this?"  He whispered in a voice that almost brought Squall right to his knees.  He had no immunity to this man, never had, never would.

            "Because I have no choice."  He ground out, knowing that he simply didn't have it in him to elaborate further.

            Not necessary, apparently.  Seifer eased back as if satisfied with his answer and he smoothed down his vest as he watched the tension play across Squall's face.

            "All right."  He conceded.  "What the hell?  It's not like I have anything else to do, right?"  

            The teasing tone was back in his voice and Squall breathed a sigh of relief.  He'd done it, was all he could think.  Never mind the battle to come, he'd won _this one.  The most important one._

            "That was almost too easy."  He said, still a little wary.

            Seifer laughed, his old, arrogant laugh and he shoved Squall's shoulder as he let Squall lead the way.

            "I wanted to see how far you'd go to get me back."

            Squall stared at him, slack-jawed.  He'd been taken in and hadn't even realized it.

            "You mean you were going to come back with me all along?"  He demanded, indignation coloring his words.

            Seifer didn't even look at him as he reached into his pocket and pulled out his choker.   Fastening it as they walked on, he glanced down at Squall.

            "Hell, yeah.  I hate this city."

            Squall laughed then, in spite of himself.  "You really are an arrogant bastard, Almasy."

            Seifer grew serious as he considered Squall's words.  He had changed, drastically, since the last time they'd seen each other.  But the changes he'd undergone were not the visible kind.  Only time would tell the extent of his transformation and he didn't intend to ruin the surprise for Squall right now.  Fate had given him another chance, in the form of his archrival, and the irony wasn't lost on Seifer.

            "Yeah, well, Leonhart, the more things change the more they stay the same."

            "A cliché?  Coming from you?  Come on Almasy; let's pay Laguna a little visit.  We'll rest there tonight."            

            Seifer nodded slowly, thinking of the numerous times he'd stood outside the Presidential Palace wondering if perhaps Squall was inside.

            "Ah, the Palace.  It doesn't hurt that your father turned out to be the President of Esthar does it?"  

            Squall shrugged.  "Never really thought about it.  It's hard for me to really grasp the fact that he's my father."

            Seifer didn't question him further.  He knew that while he'd been struggling with the day to day realities of life, Squall had been going through a few changes of his own.  And he knew how badly Squall handled change.  It was almost funny.  Almost.

            "You think he'll let me stay?"  Seifer hated the uncertainty in his voice and thankfully, Squall didn't comment on it.  

            "We're talking about Laguna."  He reminded him.  "He welcomes everyone.  He can't help it."

            Seifer smiled slightly in the darkness, feeling his heart lift for the first time in a long while.

            "Well, time will tell, right?"  He asked, not really expecting an answer.

            Squall's voice warmed, although he didn't meet Seifer's eyes.  "It has so far."

***

            Seifer remained more or less quiet as they were ushered into the Palace and directed toward an elaborately decorated sitting room.  Leather sofas, oriental style glassware and vases, exotic plants and Persian rugs.  Squall had never been in this room before and he couldn't quite mask his initial reaction.

            Seifer let out a long, low whistle.  "It's even nicer than I thought."  He admitted.

            Squall didn't respond, only took a firm hold on his impassivity.  He didn't want to admit he'd only been here the one time right before the war had ended.  It almost made him seem even more uncaring than he usually did.  But then he had to wonder why he suddenly gave a damn what Seifer thought of him.  He didn't like to admit, even to himself, that he'd always cared what Seifer thought of him.  When they were growing up, all he'd ever wanted in the world was to have Seifer look up to him, just once.  To have Seifer admire him would have brought him higher than anything he could imagine.

But they weren't kids anymore, and things had certainly changed since then. 

            "So, is Laguna around?"  Seifer asked him.

            Squall shrugged as he sat uncomfortably on the forest green leather sofa.  He didn't like the sound his pants made when they came into contact with the furniture and he grimaced.  Seifer barely concealed his amusement.  Squall wasn't any harder to read now than he ever was.  He could never understand how so many others misinterpreted his silence for something else.  Seifer could tell what Squall was feeling just by watching him; his emotions were all over his face for everyone to see; only everyone didn't see them.  Only he did.  And right now, he could feel Squall's apprehension about being here, as though he were unsure of how his Father would react to his presence.  He had no idea how much Seifer knew about his life and the direction it had taken since they'd parted ways.  

            Squall was a hero.  Everyone knew his name and Seifer knew how to listen.  He'd heard Squall's name bandied about in bars, on street corners, fishing docks, all over.  Sometimes the desire to have it all back had gnawed at Seifer like a rabid animal.  He got so homesick sometimes it was a physical ache and when he thought of Squall…the hollow feeling in the pit of his stomach would threaten to overwhelm him.

            Seifer had realized what his feelings for Squall Leonhart truly were the year he turned fifteen.  After months of watching him, of trying to identify the unfamiliar urges he felt, one day he just knew.  And it had hit him like a ton of bricks.  They had been training outside of the Garden, something they were prohibited to do, and Squall had gotten the best of him for once.  His face had lit up with surprise and undisguised pleasure as he'd plunged his gunblade into the dirt and flashed Seifer a boyish, euphoric grin.

            Never one to gloat, Squall had simply basked in his own accomplishment after months and months of always conceding to Seifer, who was bigger and stronger.  In that one moment, when he'd held his blade to Seifer's throat, his eyes determined and smoldering, Seifer's shock had been paramount.  It was unthinkable that he would be bested by anyone, much less someone younger than himself.

            But as Squall had lowered his weapon and his fierce expression had given way to an almost sublime happiness, Seifer found himself wishing that he'd allowed Squall to beat him a long time ago.  Because the joy in his eyes and the way the sunlight arced across his beautiful face was worth, to Seifer, a thousand defeats.  It was in that moment that he suddenly _knew and he felt as though someone had punched in the stomach.  He'd almost doubled over from the primitive rush he'd felt.  He loved him.  He was in love with Squall Leonhart.  _

            It was the next day that the antagonistic behavior began.  He knew Squall probably wondered what had wrought the sudden change in him, but he never asked.  Seifer assumed that Squall attributed it to embarrassment on Seifer's part.  Anger that he'd been bested by someone else.  Seifer didn't particularly care what conclusion the younger boy had drawn from his actions, he only knew that as long as Squall despised him, he would never guess how Seifer truly felt.  And by fostering the same feelings in Squall, he managed to conceal his desire.  Just being next to Squall turned Seifer into the kind of person he despised.  Weak.  Indecisive.  And worst of all, he lost control of his own mind.  And so over the next two years they had fallen into a sort of routine.  He antagonized Squall and Squall became more and more withdrawn.  The only bonus was that he got to pick on Zell Dincht, which gave him no end of amusement.  Deep down, he liked Zell, but it was just so easy to get a rise out of him that Seifer hadn't been able to resist.  And besides, it had taken his mind off of Squall for the briefest of seconds.

            When he'd discovered that Squall had been linked romantically with Rinoa Heartilly, he thought he might go crazy.  The thought of anyone touching Squall made him want to break something and so he'd done terrible things to all of them to salvage his own pride, even though no one was aware that it had been damaged, except himself.

            Funny that Squall would wind up with the girl that Seifer himself had used to try to escape his feelings.  He reasoned that if a girl like Rinoa couldn't turn his thoughts in another direction, no woman would.  And so he'd come to terms with the fact that he'd given his heart to Squall a long time ago and he would never again have the opportunity to offer it to anyone else.  

            He'd wondered many times if she'd taken up with Squall as a way to avenge her own bruised pride, but he couldn't work up much feeling about it one way or another.  The fact that Squall wasn't his and would never be his was all he needed to know, everything else seemed insignificant.  Although he had to question Squall's taste.  Rinoa was tempting, true, but if it were love he was looking for, he wondered why he never offered a chance to Quistis.  She was everything that Rinoa was not.  Quistis was the kind of woman that a man would be proud to call his own.  Rinoa was the clingy, weak kind of woman that Seifer couldn't stomach.  

            And then he had to laugh at himself for thinking of her as weak when he was sitting here mooning over Squall himself.  _Ridiculous._

            Squall looked over at him oddly.  "Is…something funny?"  He asked hesitantly.  

            Seifer colored with embarrassment.  "Uh, no.  I'm just a little tired."  He offered lamely.  _Good answer, Almasy.  Way to display that sterling wit_.

            Squall rose, glad for an excuse to get off that damn sofa.

            "What have you been doing all this time?" He asked, and Seifer knew he'd been dying to ask that question since they'd first spoke earlier that evening.

            Seifer shrugged.  "Nothing much.  Existing, I guess."

            Squall moved to his side, keeping a reasonable distance between them.  Apparently, other people's proximity still unsettled him.  Seifer wasn't surprised; it fit him well enough.

            "But how have you lived?  I mean, you have no home, no money.  Or do you?"  He questioned.  Perhaps Seifer had resources he'd been unaware of.  Seifer shook his head, his blonde bangs brushing his forehead.  Squall swallowed, suddenly aware that his throat tightened up with every step he took in Seifer's direction.  He could even smell his skin and his heartbeat grew erratic.

            "I haven't really stayed anywhere.  I've moved around a lot, never staying in one place too long.  I sleep outside, I wander during the day."  Suddenly he realized how pathetic his nomadic existence must sound to Squall and he almost cringed.  He didn't want Squall feeling sorry for him.

            "I sold Hyperion, lost my coat in a triad game.  But I've been okay.  I mean, I managed to feed myself and stay alive, right?"  He tried to lighten the mood with a smile.  Squall didn't smile back.

            "You've been through hell."  He murmured flatly, the guilt rising up again.  You've lost everything and we weren't here to help you."

            Seifer turned his aside, intensely aware of Squall's presence, his body crowding him unconsciously. 

            "You're not to blame for my situation.  It's my life; it's the path I chose.  The fault is mine alone."  He told him honestly.  He turned his head back in Squall's direction and almost forgot to breathe.  Squall was standing so close to him that he could see the little flecks of dark blue in his steely eyes.  Seifer could see the hurt in their depths and he felt the pull at his heart again.  That Squall could feel pain for him astonished him.  After all he'd done to him; he could manage to care so much.  Perhaps he hadn't killed the best in him, after all.

            "It's all in the past, now."  Squall told him vehemently.  "From now on things are going to be different."  He promised.  Seifer took a shaky breath and bit back the urge to pull him into his arms and show him just how different he wanted things to be.  Wisely, he settled for a hesitant grin and said lightly, "It can't get any worse, can it?"

            Squall returned the smile and this time it reached his eyes.  

            "I doubt it."

            The silence stretched out then, creating a whole new kind of tension although Seifer was barely aware of it.  All he could see was the transparent depths of Squall's eyes and the way his tongue snaked out to touch the fullness of his lips.  Seifer repressed a groan at the innocent gesture, for he knew that Squall was completely unaware of the turn his thoughts had taken.

            As he took a deep breath, wondering if he'd ever find the courage to unburden his heart to Squall, the sitting room door swung open with a small creak and President Loire breezed into the room, tripping over the threshold in the process.

            He paused and looked down, as though he was expecting to see something lying there that might have caused him to lose his footing.  Then he looked up, undisguised joy on his face.

            "Squall!  I wasn't expecting you, why didn't you call to let me know you were coming?"

            Squall shrugged, thrust one hip out and balanced his hand on it casually.  Only Seifer knew that this was his defensive stance and he grinned.  So predictable, Squall was.

            "Well, in any case, I'm glad you've come!  Did you…come for any particular reason?"  He asked lightly, the hopeful tone of voice not lost on either boy.  He wanted so badly for Squall to consider him his father and to treat him as such.  

            "I, uh, had a small mission to carry out and I was wondering if Seifer and I could stay here until morning."  He informed him briskly.

            Laguna's shoulder's stooped a little.  He'd known Squall's reticence would take time to overcome, but he couldn't help hoping that it would be sooner instead of later.  And so he brightened considerably, vowing to make things comfortable between them if it killed him.

            "Just tonight?  Come, now, stay a couple of days to relax.  I'm sure you boys have earned it."  He cajoled.

            Squall glanced at Seifer, looking decidedly uncomfortable.  Seifer knew he'd almost have preferred sleeping outside then being subjected to Laguna's mother hen act.

            "Well…I'm not sure, Laguna.  We'll see how it goes.  Right now, we really need the rest."  He reminded him of the purpose of their visit.

            Laguna appeared flustered.  "Of course, of course.  Come with me, I'll get you boys settled somewhere more comfortable.  Did you bring any bags with you?  Anything you need carried up to your rooms?" 

            Squall shook his head.  "No, it's just us."

            Laguna nodded.  "Very well, then, just you two.  I'll see that you're settled in and we'll talk tomorrow morning."

            Seifer smiled, wondering if perhaps Laguna hadn't recognized him.

            "Thanks, President Loire, we really appreciate it."  He said as he fell into step behind him, motioning to Squall to get moving.

            Laguna motioned vaguely with his hand.  "No problem, really.  I'm glad you came here instead of going to a hotel."

            And then he launched into the trials and tribulations of his own travels and the meager accommodations he'd been subject to at times.

            Squall covered his face with one gloved hand and Seifer smirked.  It was going to be a long night.

_*to be continued…_


	4. Chapter Four

**_Unintentional Confessions_**

"…And so you see, boys, a 'No Vacancy' sign isn't always a good thing!" Laguna went on, expounding on the virtues of a bed with no bloodstains on the mattress. 

Squall could feel the familiar flood of embarrassment as Laguna continued to regale them with tales of his days during the war. Trials and Tribulations of Laguna Loire. 

The really annoying thing was that Seifer appeared positively riveted. Squall didn't know if his uncharacteristic interest was due to his being deprived of human contact or if he were merely trying to push Squall's buttons. He had a sinking feeling that it was definitely the latter.

"Uh…Laguna?" Squall prompted. Laguna halted mid-sentence and turned his expectant eyes to his son.

"Yes, Son?" The words were out before he could call them back and Laguna's mouth snapped shut.

Squall's eyes widened and whatever he'd been about to say was lost in the uncomfortable silence that had suddenly descended upon them. While Squall knew of his origins and who his parents had been, coming to grips with the fact that he wasn't really as alone in the world as he'd thought was a little too much for him to handle. He just wasn't ready to welcome Laguna into his life with open arms. Quite honestly, the feeling of abandonment had never gone away and he continued to harbor feelings of resentment against his Father. He couldn't say that those feelings would never go away, he just didn't know.

Laguna looked away quickly, quite aware of Squall's discomfort and not for the first time he silently cursed his own idiot tongue.

"Well, I'll just let you boys get settled in…if you need anything, just push the green button beside the bed and someone will come up to help you."

Laguna looked so miserable that Seifer actually began to feel sorry for him. He'd heard the citizens of Esthar joke about the President's many idiosyncrasies, but never in a malicious way. Laguna Loire was well loved by all and Seifer couldn't quite understand what Squall had against him. He understood Squall's apprehension toward the whole 'getting to know you' routine, but he really couldn't find a single thing to dislike about the guy. 

"Thanks, Laguna." Seifer muttered, not wanting to earn another hard look from the Commander. He sure was acting pissy all of a sudden. Moody little bastard.

Laguna cast a hurt look in Squall's direction and offered Seifer a weak smile before turning and making his way back down the winding staircase toward his own wing.

Squall caught the look Seifer shot him and his countenance darkened even more.

"Don't say a word, Almasy." He warned as he stalked down the corridor toward the suite of rooms that Laguna had motioned them to. Seifer watched the Lion have his tantrum and smirked to himself when Squall slammed the door closed behind him. And people thought _he _had a bad temper. They'd never seen Leonhart lose his cool, that's all. 

Seifer sighed, amusement keeping his steps light as he entered the suite from a door on the far end of the hallway. Squall looked up as he entered the room, his sable brows drawn together in aggravation.

"What are you doing in here?" He asked in an unfriendly tone.

Seifer gave him a cool, appraising look and said nothing as he wandered around the large room, giving everything a cursory glance.

Squall stood up, his boots flopping open where he'd unlaced them but had yet to take them off. 

"Don't you have your own room?" He demanded.

Seifer shrugged and lowered himself onto Squall's bed, crossing his ankles casually as he folded his arms over his chest and simply watched Squall, purposefully keeping his expression bland.

"Yep. It's on the other side of that door." He nodded toward the door on the east side of the room.

"You mean to tell me we're sharing a room? We're in the fucking Presidential Palace and he's got us _sharing a room_? Why not just give us bunk beds?"

Squall's petulant tone was doing wonders for Seifer's mood. He'd never seen him acting like such a brat since Irvine broke his toy train when they were about six years old.

"Why not, indeed? That would certainly be something we could write home about." Seifer added.

Squall just stood there, staring at Seifer, who had the audacity to flop himself down onto _his_ bed and was at that very moment mocking him right to his face.

"Oh…whatever." He finally spat out and Seifer laughed that time. His loud, rich laugh that had always made the hair on the back of Squall's neck stand up. And then Squall realized what an ass he was being and he lowered himself into a provincial style chair near the bed and began pulling off his boots. He ducked his head to hide his embarrassment but Seifer was having none of it.

"Come on, Squall. You didn't come all this way to find me just to lock me out of your room and not speak to me at all, did you?"

Squall looked up, his silky bangs obscuring one eye. "I suppose not." He admitted.

Seifer rolled over to one side and the light glinted off his choker. Squall stared at it as though mesmerized, determined to focus on something other than the sight of Seifer sprawled out on his bed like a big, lazy cat.

"Why do you give Laguna such a hard time?" He asked him, all teasing gone from his voice.

Squall shrugged, not really wanting Seifer delving into his psyche tonight.

"Sure you know. What is it?" He pressed.

Squall averted his eyes and focused his attention on removing his belts. He didn't notice the subtle shift in Seifer's breathing as he watched him silently. _Oh, please, Hyne don't tell me he's going to strip right here._

"It's just weird." He finally muttered, hoping he didn't have to elaborate. He didn't. Seifer knew exactly what he meant.

"I can imagine." 

Squall looked up, hands stilling on the buckle of the last belt. "Can you?" He asked.

Seifer sat up, resting one elbow on his raised knee.

"Sure I can. Someone you barely know turns up with some sort of claim on you and you never expected anything like it? You bet your ass I can imagine."

Squall frowned. "It's different with you and me. And we've known each other forever, no one knows us better than we know ourselves."

Seifer cocked his head, considering him. "Who said I was talking about you and me?" He asked.

Squall reddened. "Well, I just assumed…" He trailed off, unsure of what to say to that. Seifer took pity on him and smiled easily.

"I was speaking hypothetically. I know it must be difficult to accept that someone cares about you in such an unconditional way. It's a hell of a thing to get used to when you've went your whole life without that kind of love."

"Love?" Squall scoffed.

Seifer narrowed his eyes at him. 

"Yes, love. Laguna would like nothing more than to hear you claim him as your father. No ulterior motives, no hidden agendas, just…love. The purest kind of love. He knows you're his son."

Squall didn't reply, he didn't like contemplating Laguna's feelings this way. It forced him to face his own uncertainties and the apathetic way he'd treated Laguna all this time. Seifer continued, knowing that Squall was drawing further into himself.

"And what's worse, he knows that you know about your relationship. He doesn't want to risk pushing you away and so he waits."

Squall turned to face him; his eyes alit with indignation.

"What would you have me do? Rush into his arms and call him daddy?" 

Squall's scornful tone irritated Seifer, it insulted his intelligence.

"You've forgotten who you're talking to here, Leonhart. You might be able to gloss over this stuff with everybody else but I know what's going on behind those vacant eyes of yours. You're afraid, plain and simple and don't try to argue because I recognize fear when I see it." 

"Oh, you'd know all about fear, right?" Squall advanced on him angrily, ignoring the way his heart beat wildly when Seifer moved to the edge of the bed to meet him in combat. "You, who has spent your life intimidating and instilling fear into everyone you come into contact with. You, who would rather kill the people who care about you rather than risk having your pride damaged! Don't talk to me about fear, Seifer, because this situation is something you know nothing about. I'll handle this in my own way, is that clear?"

He stood, chest heaving with the effort of controlling his anger. His anger and that prickly, uneasy feeling he got whenever he locked eyes with Seifer Almasy. Damn it, why couldn't he learn not to let Seifer push him into arguments like this. They always ended the same way, with Squall wanting to push him down and kiss him senseless. He stood his ground, however, and watched the strange light in Seifer's eyes envelop him. Even sitting down, Seifer could meet his eyes equally without having to rise. And so they stood, green eyes locked with cobalt ones, the air between them heavy with conflict and unspoken emotions. 

They were so close that Squall could smell the scent of pine on Seifer's skin and he felt his knees grow weak. Thinking of Seifer sleeping alone in the woods had yet another wave of pity and longing rushing through his chest in waves.

Seifer blinked and it seemed to Squall like time stood still as he watched those long sooty lashes brush against his beautifully molded cheekbones, sweeping like gossamer against his skin. Why did he have to be so very perfect?

"Seifer…" He murmured, eyes on Seifer's lips.

Seifer said nothing, only breathed deep and evenly, watching Squall struggle with his own conflicting emotions. Was he doubting his decision to go looking for a defeated knight? Doubting his own intentions even now, as he continued to insist he was sincere?

And then his thoughts were wiped completely from his mind when he noticed Squall moving ever closer to him. He bent down slightly, resting his palms on Seifer's knees, so close that he knew there was only thing on his mind because he could see the need in his eyes. 

Confusion gave way to shock, which was slowly being replaced with a slow, spreading elation as realization set in. Squall Leonhart was about to kiss him. Squall Leonhart, who as far as Seifer could tell, was struggling with his own desires, and losing badly. Seifer didn't back away, didn't move a muscle as Squall tentatively tested the silence between them. Sensing Seifer's acquiescence somehow, he gently joined their lips in a sweet, light kiss. A simple meeting of mouths to convey such a tumultuous need, it took Seifer's breath away. 

After all this time, Squall was kissing him, finally. Seifer angled his head to allow Squall better access, hardly daring to breathe so as not to frighten him away. Squall froze briefly as he realized that he not only had Seifer's permission, but his wholehearted participation as well and then he dove into the kiss with more passion than Seifer had ever imagined him capable.

When their tongues met, Squall felt the shock throughout his entire body and he knew there was no going back from here. He'd made some sort of declaration, and apparently, Seifer had decided to answer him with a quiet sort of acceptance. 

Squall tasted him gingerly, moving his head to one side and then angling it to the other, never moving his hands or leaning any closer into Seifer's body. The innocent exploration of that kiss spoke to Seifer in a way that words never could. The sweet longing that came through in his kiss was a proclamation of Squall's innocence and hesitation. And then he pulled back, taking Seifer's own private Heaven with him.

They stared for a few seconds as Squall realized what had just taken place between them. They'd kissed. And he'd initiated it. It would have been better if Seifer had kissed him out of spite, or if he'd held him down and tried to taunt him with his own need, but he'd done none of that. Seifer had allowed him an intimacy he'd never expected to partake of and it left him hollow inside. Why he'd let him kiss him like that, Squall couldn't guess, but he knew it could go no further if they were to mend their fences they way he'd planned. Too much was at stake here, and he wouldn't risk Seifer's security that way. 

"I'm sorry…" Squall stammered. " I…I don't know…" He stumbled over his words and Seifer watched him warily.

"Don't." He said, and his tone brooked no argument.

Squall backed away, his fingers rising to touch his mouth in fascination. He'd actually kissed Seifer Almasy. Seifer held him still with just a stare.

"Don't say anything." He told him. Squall looked away.

"Wait. I take that back." He remanded.

Squall looked to him expectantly, his heart still hammering inside his chest, the echo rushing in his ears.

"Is that what you brought me back for?" He asked in a low tone. Squall's eyes widened.

"No." He told him honestly.

Seifer rose then, and made his way toward the door that separated their rooms.

Squall stopped him before he could leave.

"Why does that matter, anyway?" He asked him, his tone gruff.

Seifer paused, not looking at him, as he seemed to consider his question. Finally he turned, glancing at Squall over his shoulder.

"That's _all _that matters." He said matter-of-factly. And then he was gone and the door closed softly behind him.

Squall sank down onto the bed where just seconds before Seifer had lain and he covered his face with his hands and stifled a groan.

Every time his conscience scored a point in the grand scheme of things, it seemed that his heart showed up to blow it all to hell and back. Great, he thought. Just fucking great.

*to be continued…

Hesperus ~ Thanks for asking, but actually, I'm just a crackhead who posted the chapters in the wrong order.  Sorted now, though.  ^_^


	5. Chapter Five

****

White Lion, Dark Knight

Squall could hear him moving around the room, his inconspicuous noises muffled, but audible nonetheless. Most probably because he was straining his ears to catch the slightest sound coming from Seifer's room.

He supposed he should just go to sleep and forget trying to analyze the evenings events, but, no matter how tired his body felt, his mind simply wasn't getting the message.

Because every time Squall closed his eyes, all he could see was a pair of wicked green eyes that held, for the first time, no trace of mockery. Feeling as though a lead weight had been placed squarely on his chest, Squall knew he would find no peace this night. 

Fighting against everything he'd always known to be true about Seifer, it was proving to be a greater task to re-evaluate him now than he had imagined. Surely he was deserving of a second chance, but how much of himself could Squall reveal without turning the situation into something he was ill equipped to handle? Already things had progressed to a level that he was uncomfortable with, and it was only nearing the end of the first day. Squall knew he'd have to put things into proper perspective if this mission was going to succeed. It wasn't his intention to lure Seifer back into the fold for the sole purpose of dulling the ache in his own heart. Although, the thoughts he'd been having since Seifer had left the room made him more than a little ashamed. He wouldn't be surprised if he woke up to find Seifer gone.

The mere thought was enough to send Squall bolt up in his bed, staring into the void of darkness that was his room. Having seen him, spoken to him, touched him again, he couldn't begin to contemplate the threat of emptiness that Seifer's absence would surely deliver. 

Squall closed his eyes, determined to beat this weakness that plagued him, had always plagued him. But whenever he closed his eyes, it was Seifer's green eyes that taunted him. He rested his elbows on his knees, pulling the sheet up around his hips. Bowing his head, he considered his options. He could move into the plane that Seifer seemed to want to inhabit as much as he did or he could be what he was supposed to be: a leader. He could help Seifer achieve his goals, as he'd originally intended, keeping Seifer's hardship to a minimum. 

Squall couldn't deny the feelings he harbored for his long time nemesis, but he'd always been able to repress any surge of longing that had assaulted him over the years. No longer. That kiss had irrevocably turned the tide between them, forced Squall to confront his heart's true need. And listening to him move around in the next room was enough to set Squall's teeth on edge. The kiss they'd shared hadn't been nearly enough to quell his desire, quite the opposite, in fact. Now he knew how Seifer tasted, how vulnerable he could look at so close a distance, how absolutely satisfying surrender had felt in the whisper of his sigh. 

Squall scrubbed at his eyes with the heel of his hand. He couldn't sleep, yet he was tired unto unconsciousness. If only he could rest, could close his eyes and grab what little comfort he could before the sun rose again. And if he slept, he knew it would not be restful. Seifer's propinquity was not conducive to tranquillity. Quite the opposite. He'd felt the strength of their bond over hundreds of miles, through time compression. Having him in the next room only exacerbated his restlessness. _Dammit. _

Sinking back against the mattress once more, Squall pulled at the satiny sheets that covered him. He had to learn to trust Seifer. He needed to know that he could count of Seifer's seeing something, anything, through to the end. It had to begin right then, at that moment, if he were going to see his plan to its fruition. As his eyes slid closed, wearily, reflexively, he imagined seeing Seifer's face first thing in the morning. And if he didn't, he'd simply find him again. He'd follow him to the ends of the Earth if necessary and he'd always bring him back. Time and time again until he finally made Seifer understand that his place was with him, by his side, until the end_. How perfectly poetic_…he thought snidely, happy that he could at least retain some sense of humor. And then he slept…

*****

When pacing began to lose its therapeutic benefit, he sat. Heavily, petulantly, frustratingly immobile, he sat. _Damn his stubborn ass_. The look on Squall's face when Seifer had left the room told him, in no uncertain terms, that he was in for the fight of his life. Seifer was willing to bet the clothes on his back…_no big wager there, heh heh_…that Squall was at that very minute lying supine on the bed, telling himself precisely how unaffected he'd been by their kiss. Or, if could admit that he'd been affected by it, he was very probably analyzing himself into stuttering depression. 

Seifer shook his head, suddenly very weary. The snatches of sleep that had been his lately had done nothing to heal his spirit. The exhaustion that he felt was becoming interminable. What he needed most right now was a full night's sleep and the bed that sat in the corner of the room was proving to be too much of a temptation to resist. 

He should leave. Before he gave Squall the opportunity to breach all of his defenses, hidden though they were. He'd spent the past four years of his life fighting the unnatural need he had for Squall Leonhart. If he gave in, he would be defenseless because Seifer knew that once he let the Lion into his heart, he wouldn't have the resolve to push him back out again.

Shaking his head, he rose slowly, his innate grace deserting him in the face of his fatigue. Love made a person lazy, it seemed. _Love._ He almost scoffed at the unspoken word. Somehow, Seifer doubted this head-spinning obsession could be categorized quite so neatly. Oh, well. Further speculation would only lead to yet another bout of soul-searching and Seifer hadn't the strength for another bout with his inner mystic. He needed rest and lots of it. 

Tomorrow would provide the clarity he sought…he hoped. After all, hadn't everyone always told him that it would all seem brighter tomorrow? Those people had never spent a day as Seifer Almasy, public disgrace and they sure as hell had never gone head to head with the most bull-headed man in existence. Hyne, what a mess. 

Tomorrow…right?

*****

Laguna stood before the mirror over his sink. Impressed, as he always was, with the ornate gilding that framed the glass. The extra extravagances his Presidency afforded him never failed to amaze him. Imagine, he ruled a country AND he got to live in this exquisite palace. Not bad for an ex-Galbadian Soldier, huh?

He grinned at himself, noticing the fine lines that etched out from the corners of his eyes when he smiled. Time was marching on, away from him it seemed, and it was taking his son with it. His grin faded.

Every time he thought of Squall, only the regrets that he continued to grapple with eclipsed the pride he felt. He'd made so many mistakes. And Squall was not the most forgiving person in the world. He held a grudge longer than anyone Laguna had ever known, and Laguna had known a lot of people.

Looking at Squall was almost painful for Laguna sometimes. He was so like Raine, but Laguna recognized a little of himself in the young mercenary as well. If only he could reach him somehow, make him understand how much having a son meant to him, had always meant to him…

Laguna knew that most of Squall's iciness was simply a defense mechanism and he could respect that. Hyne only knew the unspeakable things Squall had endured in his young life. Laguna reasoned that whatever Squall used to protect himself was a necessary thing and he wouldn't attempt to dismantle whatever Squall had constructed around him.

He hadn't questioned Squall about his presence in Esthar, or the fact that Seifer Almasy was with him. Laguna was as aware of the rest of the world of Seifer's fall from grace and he was dying to know what had brought the two together, in his house, of all places. He sensed all was well, however, and knew better than to second-guess the Commander of Balamb Garden. He supposed all would be revealed in due time, he only hoped that Squall cared enough about him to fill him in so he wouldn't worry.

Judging by the tension that radiated from the two men, Laguna couldn't repress a smile. Two alpha males and only one could truly lead the pack. What a struggle it would turn out to be. He was almost positive that the Lion had met his match in the golden young knight. 

Laguna considered Seifer for a moment. It puzzled him how someone who so closely resembled a ray of sunlight could harbor such darkness within him. Laguna saw such things. Seifer Almasy had known despair, for he wore it like a mantle, even after all this time.

Turning out the light and padding quietly to his bed, he wondered if his son was planning to redeem a fallen knight or if he were only digging himself a hole.

It was times like these that he missed Raine the most. _Goodnight my love…_

*****

He awoke with the sharpness of shattering glass. One minute he was so far under that dreams couldn't penetrate his subconscious, the next he was staring at the ceiling with perfect cognizance. 

As his head cleared, one little word snaked into his thoughts…_Seifer_…

Was he here still, sleeping soundly in the next room, dreaming peacefully as Squall wished he could?

If he got out of bed, sleep would not return to him, that much he knew. But what could it hurt if he just peeked in, just to ease his mind? 

Deciding it would do no good to lie in the darkness arguing with himself, he rose silently, the soft gray pants he wore twisting around his legs with his movements. He couldn't sleep in clothes, why didn't he ever remember that?

When his bare feet touched the carpet, he felt himself sink into it by two or three inches. At least it would conceal any noise he would make crossing the room. That's about all such extravagance was worth to Squall.

When he reached the door that separated him from Seifer, he paused, laying one palm against the heavy barrier. Was Seifer sleeping? Or was he lying in bed fighting the same images that he'd been fighting himself. Or perhaps he'd already gone. That didn't bear thinking about. It was not an acceptable option.

He leaned his head against the door, listening intently for any hint of Seifer's state of consciousness. Nothing. Not even the whir of a ceiling fan. 

Squall gripped the door handle loosely, loathe to make any sounds. He tightened his grip when his fingers slid away, damp with sweat. He licked his lips, continuing to question his decision to leave his bed. 

He turned the handle slowly; swallowing nervously, hardly daring to breathe and he took a deep breath as he began to ease the door open. Closing his eyes, he prayed that, just this once, he could watch him undetected. He wanted to see him, just once, in repose, silent and unaware.

As he prepared to rest his gaze on Seifer tangled amidst blankets and pillows, he was shocked to find himself staring into a pair green eyes that were very much aware.

Squall tipped his head back to meet Seifer's calm gaze. Neither spoke as they stood silently, each drinking in the sight of the other.

Seifer's chest was bare and he wore a pair of white drawstring pants that clung to his body as if they'd been made especially for him. Riding low, Squall noticed the prominent bones of his hips and suddenly his mouth went dry.

He wore his choker, a reminder of who he was and from where he'd come. It epitomized Seifer to Squall. Eternal, but slightly tarnished. His Knight.

"What are you doing, Squall?" He asked, his voice seeming to belong to someone else, a stranger.

Squall watched his lips as he spoke, the unholy images springing forth in his mind like sin from barren soil. He wanted to pray for guidance, but whom could he pray to? And who could save him now? Everything that was wrong in his life was his own doing and still he bore the burden of Seifer's guilt as well. He would have to guard himself well.

"I-I couldn't sleep." He responded, the husky sound of Seifer's voice still pulling at the corners of his mind, making him slow to respond.

"Me either." Seifer admitted and he turned to glance at his empty bed, the shape of his body still evident among the tangled sheets.

Squall knew where his thoughts had turned, and he wasn't ready to consider the possibility of traveling that road. Not yet, maybe never. Yet, how could he refuse when it was obvious what was in his heart? At least, to him it was obvious.

"You can share my bed if you want." Seifer offered, clearly not comfortable with the idea, but not for the reasons Squall imagined.

"Seifer, I don't think…" He began to back away, eyes wary.

Seifer pursed his lips, fighting the urge to whack Squall right on his hard head.

"To sleep, Leonhart…nothing more." He informed him dryly. 

Squall looked sheepish. "I didn't…I wasn't…"

Seifer raised an eyebrow at him and he looked away. _I should have stayed in bed_.

Seifer reached for him, took his wrist firmly in his grasp and pulled him into the room. Closing the door behind them, he led Squall to his bed, feeling his heartbeat as though it pounded within himself.

He released Squall's wrist and climbed into the bed, moving to the far side, allowing Squall plenty of space. He watched him stand there, indecision in his eyes, his body tense and unsure.

"Come to bed, Squall. Maybe we'll sleep this way, if nothing else." 

Squall heard the resignation in his voice and knew he was near to collapsing with exhaustion. His reservations fled and he eased himself into the bed beside Seifer. 

Neither of them moved, not daring to touch the other. Squall was so rigid that he looked like he might levitate eventually. 

Seifer rolled his eyes in the darkness. Skittish as a cat, was this Lion of Balamb.

"Squall." Uttered in a monotone, irritation evident in his voice, Squall hesitated and then, "What?"

"Relax. Go to sleep." And then his eyes fluttered closed, his fatigue obviously getting the better of him. Squall relaxed slightly as he listened to Seifer's breathing and heard it deepen, level out. He sighed. It wasn't enough.

Moving closer to Seifer, afraid he would wake him, not daring to imagine the embarrassment that would accompany such an event, he reached out to trace one of the veins in Seifer's forearm. He closed his eyes and reveled in the feel of Seifer's skin. So soft, who would ever have imagined that?

Daring more, he moved closer still, wanting to feel his warmth, wanting to feel his strength before he could let sleep claim him finally.

Seifer's arms reached for him automatically, drawing Squall into the circle of his embrace. His eyes remained closed. Squall exhaled. Just a little closer…

Nestling Squall's head just under his chin, Seifer wrapped the smaller man against his chest and entwined their limbs together. 

With the rise and fall of Seifer's chest forming Squall's own rhythm of breathing, he closed his eyes let go of his resolve. Now he could sleep, for the first time in months, he could sleep…he'd worry about the rest tomorrow. _Goodnight Seifer…_

*to be continued…


	6. Chapter Six

****

Good, old-fashioned Denial…

Despite his exhaustion, despite the long journey that lay ahead, despite that fact that in the next few minutes he was going to have to open his eyes and face the reality of where he'd spent the night, despite it all, Squall lay, eyes closed tightly. He distinctly remembered climbing into bed with Seifer, Seifer's strong arms winding easily around his body, but he couldn't pinpoint the exact moment he'd fallen asleep. A first for Squall Leonhart. It didn't bode well for him at all.

Feeling the heaving sigh but not quite giving voice to it, Squall opened his eyes drowsily. Judging from the angle of the sunlight falling across the white bedcovers, it was well after 0900 hours. He'd never lain in bed this long, regardless of the late night he'd kept. Bleary at first, his vision soon began to sharpen, and the sight that greeted him was about as welcome as a bed full of rattlesnakes.

Seifer lay on his back, one arm stretched casually over his head; his fingers curled loosely, barely brushing his hair. His skin was smooth and golden in the morning sunlight, bronzed and supple. Gone was his former ivory pallor, a testament to the time he'd spent out of doors. Seifer had always been unnaturally pale, as blondes so often were. Now he gleamed with vitality, sunlight. In repose, his brows weren't constantly drawn in irritation; his mouth wasn't tight with restraint. He looked so peaceful. It was an illusion, Squall knew, but that didn't make it any less breathtaking. He turned slightly, wanting to see him better. He only hoped he remained asleep until Squall could sneak back to his own room.

His lips were full and pink, relaxed and…tempting. Squall swallowed tightly, he'd never known Seifer to be this unaware. While they'd never slept together before, Seifer was the kind of guy who could feel someone's eyes on him in a roomful of people and so his uncharacteristic incognizance was a bit unsettling. It made Squall wonder just how much he had changed. Thinking about it made him a little sad. As though he were saying goodbye to a vital part of his childhood. But what could he have lost, really, when Seifer was lying beside him, trusting him enough to let him sleep in his bed.

Green eyes shuttered, his long inky lashes contrasting with the tone of his skin, making him look even less menacing. Seeing him like this, so sweet looking, made it hard to recall the angry young man who'd tried to tear a world apart.

And yet there he was, one and the same.

His neck, the graceful line of it, was becoming more of a temptation than Squall had anticipated. He wanted to bury his face in the curve of it and just inhale. His shoulders, always so broad and powerful, were even more so since Squall had seen him last. It made him wonder, again, exactly what Seifer had been doing with his time during his self-imposed exile. 

Seifer stirred, sighing softly as he turned fully onto his side, facing Squall. His tongue darted out to lick his lips before he grew still again, his hands curled beguilingly near to his face, as a small child's would. Squall felt his chest constrict painfully. He would have to tread carefully for the next few weeks, for both their sakes. The last thing he needed was to wake up one morning and be forced to admit that there was something between them, something that hadn't been there before.

He was disgusted with himself for even considering the possibility of taking this fleeting attraction, for that's all it was – fleeting, to the next level. It was simply not a good idea and could be disastrous to the both of them. Most likely the feelings he was having were simply the culmination of several months of worry and guilt. And now that they were together again, things could be different. Would be different. Squall reached a hand out tentatively and paused a few inches from Seifer's cheek. He hesitated then, refusing to risk screwing it all up as a result of some romantic fantasy. Or whatever it was. No good could come of further intimacy between them, they were bound tightly enough as it was. Any closer and Squall might lose himself entirely. And so he pulled his hand back, no matter how much of an empty ache it induced, and he told himself that it was for the best.

*****

Seifer felt him sliding silently out of the bed, taking special care not to disrupt the blankets as he went. He didn't open his eyes for a final glance of Squall's back; he'd opened his eyes enough times in the night to sneak glances at him. Finding himself hoping, in the impersonal silence of the room, that Squall would open his eyes just once and give him something to hope for. Those darkly fringed eyes that sometimes looked like glass. Seifer had always been afraid to look too deeply into them for fear he'd see nothing. Not even his own reflection.

But his unspoken longings remained locked within him as Squall slept on, through the night, completely unaware of the state Seifer was in. This went well beyond frustration. This could easily be the beginning of a most unhealthy obsession. How was he going to get past this…insanity when Squall was so obviously fighting the same demons that he fought himself. He'd let Squall pretend, as long as he was able, that there was nothing between them that couldn't die a quiet death. He'd felt Squall's fingers hovering indecisively near his face, and had known immediately that he was fighting it and would continue to fight it until he just couldn't take it anymore. The unfortunate thing about that, however, was that Seifer had never known anything to beat Squall down. And so when he felt Squall taking his warmth away, he'd kept his eyes closed and his breathing steady and he'd simply let him go. It was the only way…for now.

*****

"Where's your boy this morning?" Kiros asked in his quiet, cultured way. Laguna smiled at him wanly, the sparkle just not visible in his eyes. Laguna shrugged and reached for his coffee mug.

"He's not up yet, I suppose. Although I expected he and Seifer would be long gone by now." He sounded hurt and not for the first time. Kiros had the sudden urge to pop the little brat in the back of his head. Laguna agonized over Squall at least once a day and it seemed that Squall just didn't care. Or maybe he wasn't being fair to Squall. Laguna was practically a stranger to him; perhaps he simply didn't know the extent of Laguna's love.

"Give him time, Laguna. He's not like you, you know." 

Laguna chuckled. "No argument there, buddy."

Kiros grinned, his braids swinging against his cheek as he sat opposite the President, lifting his glass of juice to his lips.

"Not a bad way to start my morning after all, though." Laguna told his friend. " I mean, he has to come down sometime, right?"

Kiros set his glass down and templed his fingers beneath his chin. 

"What makes you so sure he hasn't gone already?" He couldn't help asking.

"I went to his room this morning." Laguna said as he bit into a roll.

"And he was still sleeping?"

Laguna grinned. "Like a baby." And then he paused, unsure of whether to share what he'd witnessed. "Except…" 

Kiros tilted his head to the side and waited. "Except?" He prompted.

"Hey, you want a bagel?" Laguna offered, bright eyed and innocent.

Kiros frowned, the expression doing nothing to mar his almost feminine beauty.

"Don't change the subject on me, Laguna. Come on, spill it." He ordered Laguna crossly. As dear as his friend was, sometimes Kiros felt his patience being tried royally.

"Sorry…it's just that…" Laguna paused, getting that adorable little crinkle between his eyes that he got when he was perplexed. Which was quite often, actually. Kiros had to bite his lip to rein in his grin. Laguna was a piece of work, all right.

"What is it?" Kiros prompted him again. Something he was used to doing.

"He wasn't in his bed…exactly." He told him in a low voice.

Kiros raised an eyebrow. _Well…this is quite a development, isn't it?_

"What do you mean…exactly?" Kiros asked, his tone bordering on amusement.

"Well," Laguna looked toward the stairs, afraid Squall would be standing there listening to his Father shoot his mouth off. "Well, he was sort of…in Seifer's bed."

There, he'd said it. Kiros raised the other eyebrow, both of them practically meeting his hairline by that time.

"Sort of in Seifer's bed?" Kiros said, his voice a tad high. Laguna grinned at the expression on his face.

Kiros glanced toward the stairs as well. "Were they…?" He didn't know quite what to ask. Well, he did, but decency prevented it.

"Were they what? They were sleeping." Laguna told him.

"Well, well." Kiros murmured, apparently having decided that he'd said quite enough on the subject. It was none of his business what those boys did when they were alone. Although, he had to admit to himself, the thought gave him a reason to smile.

"What should I do?" Laguna asked, uncertain.

Kiros snagged a bagel off of Laguna's plate and regarded him silently for a minute.

"Do? You don't do anything. It's none of your business." Kiros told him firmly, biting into the bagel. Mmm…cinnamon raisin. His favorite.

"Squall's a big boy, Laguna. You'd do better to stay out of it." Kiros advised him.

"I just want him to confide in me." Laguna complained.

Kiros snickered. "He doesn't even tell you when he's in the area, I wouldn't hold my breath on that one."

Laguna scowled at him.

"Oh, what do you know?" He said, annoyed.

Kiros grew solemn once more as he began to flip through the day's paper, more out of a need to keep his amusement a secret than from any real desire to catch up on current affairs. He lived in the Presidential Palace, for Hyne's sake, you didn't get any more current than that.

"More than you, apparently." He returned under his breath. He'd always wondered about those two. They fought too damn much for there to be nothing between them. In order to hate, you needed passion, and that was one thing Seifer Almasy had in spades. Perhaps Laguna's little boy was in for one hell of a thawing. He chuckled, pretending he didn't see Laguna's questioning glance. _Won't be nearly soon enough…_

*to be continued…


	7. Chapter Seven

****

Dancing with the Devil

~ When you dance with the devil, the devil don't change. The devil changes you.

****

He stretched across the cold expanse of sheet beneath him, the absence of Squall's warmth almost sharp in its perception. His scent lingered, but it was all that was left. Seifer's eyes remained closed, unwilling to open them and admit that whatever sweetness he'd held through the night had been wrested from him in the harsh light of day.

He'd felt Squall's reluctance, known it for his own, and yet he hadn't asked him to stay. 

Reaching blindly along the edge of the mattress, he welcomed the clarity that came with such cool crispness. It was too soon. Too soon to grasp his arm and order him back to bed. Too soon to release the tenuous hold he had on his temper and demand, just once, demand that Squall look at him. Forget his damned charity and really see Seifer Almasy. Whoever the hell he really was…It was getting to the point where Seifer didn't recognize the cool emerald stare in the mirror anymore. So many months of holding it back, beating it down, it had wrought changes in him. Major changes.

He'd purposefully kept the truth from Squall. Where he'd been, what he'd been doing all this time. Maybe one day he'd tell him. Maybe. Right now the thought of reliving those early days had the power to send him further into himself. To a place he didn't want to visit ever again. He had a feeling that Squall wouldn't understand.

He rolled to his back, stretching his long body under the blankets, reveling in the simple feeling of completion. It had been a long while since he'd felt…content. He wasn't going to give it up this time; he was going to hold on to some sense of normalcy if it killed him.

Reaching over his head, he let his hands curl under his pillow as he let his mind wander over the events of the previous night. Of course he'd known Squall was coming for him. He had his sources, after all, and news of the President's son trying to slip unnoticed into town had spread like flames through a forest. The Estharian underground had more efficient ways of trading information than the most sophisticated government. Seifer had known the second he'd stepped across the city limits, belts jangling and hair blowing in the breeze. But he didn't really need to be told. Seifer could feel him. In the subtle change of the wind, he'd felt him. And it was for that very reason that Seifer had accepted Squall's shy kisses last night. It was time. Time for them to be what they should have been to one another since this whole thing started.

Whether he knew it or not, Squall Leonhart was his and his alone. He'd marked him for himself when they were just boys and it wasn't something Seifer took lightly. Squall would understand it soon enough and until he was ready to accept what couldn't be changed, Seifer would wait. It was what he was good at. He'd done it this long, hadn't he?

Prepare yourself, Commander mine. The game is on.

***

Squall hesitated at the bottom of the stairs, listening to the rattle of plates and such. Laguna and Kiros were obviously having breakfast. _Great._ Mindless chatter. Just what he was looking forward to on a morning where he wanted nothing more than to crawl right back into bed.

_Whose bed?_ The nagging little voice in the back of his mind asked him silkily. Squall frowned. He would not begin talking to himself. Being in this Palace was bad enough, he refused to give himself more reasons to relate to Laguna.

But, sanity aside, he couldn't stop thinking of the way Seifer had looked when he'd left his bed this morning. So vulnerable. As if _he_ was the one who needed protection for once. Squall had to admit that the image of Seifer Almasy, errant knight, had need of protection. And from the one person he'd sworn to fight unto his grave. Seifer hadn't meant the things he'd said during the war, Squall knew that as well as he knew his own name. But he also knew that Seifer was capable of more than anyone had ever given him credit for. His stoicism would serve him well in times of need and self-preservation was indeed a virtue as far as Seifer was concerned. 

Squall shook his head slightly, his hair falling into his eyes. Why was he standing here daydreaming of Seifer when he had Laguna to deal with? He wanted to pray for guidance, but he didn't quite know how and so he figured he'd get through this the same way he got through everything else. Blind Luck.

*****

Kiros rustled the paper slightly as Squall entered the room. _Heads up Brother_.

Laguna looked up, one long tendril of hair falling over his eye; the softly curling ends threatening to drag into his plate. Kiros smiled softly, wanting to smooth it over Laguna's shoulder himself, but not about to get up to do it.

"Laguna?" He called in his soft voice. Laguna turned his attention away from his son.

"Huh?" He asked absently.

Kiros tugged lightly on his own locks and nodded in Laguna's direction. Laguna looked down, landing his hair right on his bagel and then he lifted his head as he flipped the wayward sweep of hair behind his shoulder. He offered Kiros a sheepish grin and Kiros closed his eyes, shaking his head slightly.

Squall almost smiled himself. He would have been embarrassed by the obvious closeness displayed between the two men had he not felt it for himself just hours ago. And while the emotions that had coursed through him were new and not a little intimidating, they were not embarrassing. 

"Hi there, Squall. Sleep well?" He almost cringed as soon as the words left his mouth. The last thing he wanted was for Squall to know that he'd entered his room to find it empty. He didn't want to make Squall any more uncomfortable than he already was.

"Uh. Yeah. Well enough, I suppose." He answered, wondering why he couldn't answer the question quickly and then just shut the hell up.

Kiros turned his attention back to his newspaper. Somehow he doubted Mr. Commander would appreciate being the source of Kiros' amusement.

"Good, good." Laguna sat up straighter, moving plates around, nudging a chair for Squall to sit in.

"Here, have some breakfast. I suppose you two have a long drive today, huh?"

Squall looked up and forgot to guard his emotions for he found himself locking eyes with his Father. Forest green eyes met cobalt blue ones and Squall felt the jolt throughout his body. His Father. After so long, this was what it felt like. To know your origins, to accept that you could look upon the someone who was responsible for your ability to draw breath.

It was humbling. And it was freaky as hell. Not something Squall was ready to accept. He needed time to adjust.

"Well, uh, I don't think we'll really need a vehicle. We'll manage on our own."

Laguna looked at him, eyebrows drawn together.

"C'mon Squall, think about it, it's too long for you two to travel without some sort of protection. I wouldn't feel right about that."

Kiros lay his paper down, deep, dark eyes settling right on Squall and not wavering.

"Well, I…" He began, not liking the scrutiny he suddenly found himself facing. The guilt he felt at leaving the Palace as suddenly as he'd come was beginning to rear its ugly head. He didn't want to feel beholden to Laguna as well.

Seifer chose that moment to make his entrance and just the way he seemed to fill the doorway wiped Squall's thoughts away. They stood silently observing each other, words not coming easily, as if they ever had and it was Laguna who broke the strained silence.

"Good morning, Seifer."

Seifer managed to tear his eyes away from Squall and an easy smile spread across his sharp, even features.

"Thanks, you too." 

His voice was still husky from sleep. Squall didn't think he'd ever heard Seifer's voice sound that way. It gave him chills along his spine.

"C'mon, guys, sit down, please, eat." Laguna offered, motioning toward the array of pastries and breads that were arranged so perfectly on the table.

Seifer chose the seat across from Kiros and diagonal from Laguna. That put Squall at the other head of the table. _Point. Match_.

Seifer reached across his plate and lifted a danish off of a silver serving tray. It shone in the morning sunlight, as though it had recently been polished. It was heavy, elaborate and had little bunnies at each end it. Seifer grinned.

"Sweet little tray, Laguna." He observed dryly, and Laguna knew he was teasing him good-naturedly. He blushed and tucked his hair behind his ear as he continued to spread some sort of fruit puree over his toast.

"Yeah. I have a sort of…attachment to it, I suppose. Brought it with me from Winhill, couldn't leave it behind." 

His voice turned nostalgic toward the end of his sentence and Seifer felt a little guilty for asking. It must have been Raine's. Laguna gave a little half smile and continued.

"Strange, though, how I managed to bring the craziest things with me while I left my ability to reason back in that cottage. I might not have complete recollection of my last few days there, but I have a really gaudy serving tray to show for my time spent."

He probably would have gone on, having always been the type of person who couldn't stop the words from pouring out once the floodgates had been opened. Foolish as it sounded, he felt it was rude to give someone only part of a story, even if his heart were breaking with the telling of it.

Kiros stopped him from recounting things that were better left buried and he rested his eyes on Squall, who was settling into his chair hesitantly, his belts clinking against his gunblade as he moved.

"I assure you, Commander, there will be no outbreak of battle here at the table." He stared pointedly at Squall's weapon. Squall shrugged.

"Never rule out the possibility." He advised quietly.

Kiros narrowed his eyes and Seifer knew what was coming. Kiros might look like nothing more than delicate skin stretched across fragile bones that belied his regal heritage, but his appearance was a façade. While he looked like he should be doing nothing more than raising blue-blooded horses, drinking only the finest Scots Whiskey and lounging most comfortably in a scarlet brocade smoking jacket, Kiros was a retired soldier, a trained killer. And a damned good one. Seifer knew this from first hand experience, although that was something Squall probably didn't need to know.

"Trust me, little cub, no one is getting through that front door without me knowing about it hours in advance. I assure you, you may rest easy while you're here."

Squall resisted the urge to sneer at him. Barely.

"Is that right? How do you explain my presence?" He asked smoothly, a tone that Squall seldom used. He didn't make a habit of being a show off. Now, however, was an instance where his status got the better of him. 

"Easily. I let you into this city. I'd had only to say the word and you would have bathed in your own blood at the city limits." Quietly spoken and deadly serious, Squall didn't know whether to be glad that such a man was guarding his father, or angry that he'd been made a fool of. He settled for his usual reaction. Bored indifference.

"Interesting." He managed. Seifer grinned. Kiros had a tongue like a whip; he'd felt its sting more than once. But then, he was almost certain that Kiros had been the one who'd cleared the road for his emergence from hell. The worst kind of hell he could ever have imagined. 

He shook his head. He would not think about it. Not today. Maybe not tomorrow. It was time to bury the past.

Laguna's brows were drawn together in tension, the deep green of his eyes assessing the situation before him; most probably he was trying to think of something to say that would lighten the mood. Seifer saved him.

"Those are some pretty beads you're wearing today, Kiros. Those new?" He asked, voice light and teasing.

Squall turned to stare at him, recognizing that voice. It was the one he reserved for Zell. When he was about to torment him, of course. Did he and Kiros know each other?

Kiros' expression didn't change, although he didn't appear to be angry. Laguna grinned and snorted in amusement.

"Good one, Almasy." 

Squall cringed. Laguna's laugh tinkled like wind chimes. It made him want to crawl under the rug and vanish.

"Y'know, I was with him when he got those, he couldn't make up his mind whether or not they would hang right, or something like that and I said to him, I said, 'Kiros, I don't know about those beads, I mean, they're kind of girly and you remember that guy who got the crap beat out of him…'"

Squall closed his eyes. _Hyne deliver me_.

Kiros was regarding him with his dark, calm gaze and he shook his head slightly. 

"Laguna…" One word, meant as a warning, although not menacing. Laguna grinned at him and winked.

"Yeah, sorry pal. Anyway, the point is…" He paused, scratching his head and realizing too late that he'd scratched his head with the hand that still held his breakfast.

"Oh, no. Look what I did." He looked at Kiros. "I'm so clumsy. Excuse me guys, I'll be right back." 

He retreated with a bashful grin and Kiros watched him go, eyes soft and unfocused, until he disappeared around the corner, the sound of him tripping on that first step causing a smile to play over the curve of Kiros' lips. But when Laguna's footsteps faded out of hearing range, Kiros turned to Squall with the grace of a long, dark panther. His dark eyes hardened, his red beads swinging against his dusky skin. 

Seifer braced himself for the coming storm.

"I'm only going to say this one time, little lion. I don't care if you're the Commander of every Garden on this planet; you will not come into this Palace and treat Laguna with anything other than civility and respect. I realize it's asking too much for you to show him a little warmth since you don't seem to possess any, but know this: Laguna has suffered endlessly. Enough. I won't have you shredding what heart he has left. He's your father, whether or not you want to admit it, he is. I don't think it will kill you to offer him a kind word every so often just to keep that smile on his face. Do we understand each other?"

Squall sat, smoldering under Kiros and Seifer's collective gazes. His thumb stroked over the trigger of his gunblade and there was murder in his eyes. Seifer had once thought that his pride eclipsed that of his comrades by leaps and bounds, but not so anymore. Leonhart was all grown up and Seifer recognized the look in his eyes. It was the same one he used to wear. And sometimes still did. Although not as often.

"Squall." He warned, low and insistent.

Squall didn't take his eyes off of Kiros.

"How dare you threaten me." It came out as a growl, a sound that had sent grown men scurrying for the shadows. Kiros didn't bat an eyelash.

"I dare whatever I want, little cub. You want respect you better earn it and so far you haven't shown me anything. What our lost one here sees in you is beyond me."

Seifer's eyes widened and Squall finally broke the contest of wills, his gaze sliding easily to Seifer.

"What have you told him?" It didn't sound like a question; it sounded like an order. Seifer shrugged. Kiros grinned.

"He tells me nothing. He doesn't have to. Your empty bed speaks for itself. Don't turn this into something ugly, Leonhart. Accept it, accept _him_. Start over."

Squall eased his hand away from his weapon.

"If you were anyone else I'd kill you where you sat." He told him neutrally.

Kiros acknowledged his promise with a slight incline of his head.

"And if you were anyone else you wouldn't even be here." And, as an afterthought. 

"He loves you. Don't turn your back on him." He rose regally, laying his napkin beside his plate. It had barely a crease. He turned to go, paused in the doorway. 

"And I wasn't referring to your golden knight." And then he was gone.

Squall made a small choking sound and closed his eyes, mortification winning out against his rage. He didn't look at Seifer, nor did he speak, but when he opened his eyes, he heard his rival's voice, soft and amused, coming from his right.

"So. We staying another night?" 

Squall nodded, rising, eyes averted. "Let me make a phone call."

Seifer leaned back in his seat, not ready to leave the table, but definitely on his way to being full.

"And then what?" 

Squall turned, met his gaze, the look in his eyes holding him captive.

"And then we head outside."

Seifer raised an eyebrow. "Why the hell would we do that?"

Squall curled his lips in what Seifer supposed was his rendition of a smile. 

"We're going to dance."

Seifer sat up then, indignant and quite put out. "But I don't have a weapon."

Squall's smile never wavered. "I know."

To be continued…


	8. Chapter Eight

Never Surrender 

****

And nobody wants to know you now…and nobody wants to show you how… 

            He stood silently, nervously, as he listened to each shrill ring blend into the next.  He hadn't wanted to make this call, but he'd been gone almost a month and he knew that they would all be worried.

            _Come on, Zell.  Pick up.  The phone continued to ring until Squall heard the tiny click and he knew he was going to have to leave a message.  He hated answering machines._

            _'Yep, yep, you got Zell!' His cheerful voice caused a wistful half smile to form on Squall's lips and he pretended he didn't feel the dull ache in his heart._

            _'I'm not here, or, I am here and I just don't feel like talkin' to ya!  Just kiddin', leave me a message and I'll call ya back!'_

Squall cringed at the annoying beeping sound and then there was silence and he began to speak.

            "Uh, Zell.  Hi.  Squall here.  Just wanted to let you know that I'm in Esthar, things are fine.  I found Seifer.  He's…with me…here at Laguna's.  We should be arriving back at Balamb in a few days.  I…hope everything…" He paused, hating the forced cheerfulness of his voice, hating the fact that he couldn't hear Zell's, hated being away from home.  But worst of all was what he imagined Zell would be feeling as he listened to this message.  Wondering if all would be well between them when Squall returned.

            "Page me if you need me…or…. whatever.  I have to go now.  See you soon."

            And then he placed the receiver back into its cradle and sighed.  He was glad that he'd listened to his instincts and held Zell at bay regarding the physical aspect of their relationship.  He'd only just come to terms with the fact that his best friend harbored feelings toward him when he'd begun dreaming of Seifer again.  The long, restless nights when thoughts of Seifer had threatened to pull him under.  Awakening from vague and disturbing dreams, his body sweat-slicked and aching; memories of the dream coming to him only in fragments or vague impressions.  He would awake feeling frustrated and sometimes guilty.  While he'd made Zell no promises, taking up with Seifer when they'd been sworn enemies forever would still seem like a betrayal.

            Sighing heavily, he glanced at the phone one last time before turning around and heading to the room where Kiros displayed his finest weapons.  It was playtime.

***

            Seifer was in the conservatory before Squall and he'd found a clearing near a group of exotic looking trees and flowers.  Squall paused, watching him intently.  He'd bared himself to the waist, his loose pants only serving to accentuate the perfection of his body.  The lines of his muscles flowed one into the other creating one long fluid ripple.  His spine was straight, his shoulders squared, his arms moving slowly in a continuum of grace as he flexed and stretched his body.  The sunlight filtered weakly through the tinted glass that enclosed the conservatory, subtly dappling Seifer's skin.  

            Squall stood quietly, kitanas grasped loosely in each hand, their covered tips trailing in the soft grass.  The humidity in the open area was suffocating.  Whether or not it had anything to do with Seifer's proximity, Squall was unable to decide.  The fact was, he was finding it hard to breathe.  He closed his eyes, breathed in deeply and bolstered his reserve.  He could look, but he would not touch.  He wouldn't be so weak, he simply would not.  He was stronger than the desire that seemed to drive him, and he was going to prove it, right now.

            "Heads up, Almasy."  He called, tossing the sheathed kitana into the air.  Seifer spun about smoothly, arm raised overhead, and caught the blade easily.  Still holding the weapon over his head, he unsheathed the blade, tossing the casing aside without even looking to see where it might land.

            Squall raised an eyebrow, impressed in spite of himself.

            "Nice catch."

            Seifer grinned; his eyes alight with the prospect of a little swordplay.  It had been too long since he'd wielded a weapon just for the sheer sport of it.

            "Nice choice."  He returned, referring to the kitana.  He watched, green eyes predatory, his line of vision trained on Squall's every movement.  Squall unsheathed his own weapon and lay the casing beside him, nudging it aside with his boot.

            "Lose the shirt, Leonhart."  Seifer demanded, eyes narrowed as he began a wide circle around Squall.

            Squall cocked his head to one side and regarded him with an almost sneer.

            "Your attempt to get me out of my clothes?"  He surprised _himself _with that one.

            Seifer's expression registered surprise, but only briefly before the mask was firmly back in place.

            "You and I both know I could do that without using this as an excuse.  I simply didn't want to shred your shirt, that's all."

            Squall's eyes narrowed to two steely slits and Seifer silently applauded.  A couple more quips like that and Squall would be practically frothing with temper.  Seifer had never known anyone who could pull Squall's chain the way he did.  Squall never really lost his temper unless Seifer was the cause of it.  He took an inordinate amount of pride in that fact.   

            "Shut up and show me what you got."  Squall growled, pulling his shirt over his head and discarding it on the grass.  Seifer smirked.  _Atta boy_…

            He circled Squall in a wide, careful circle, remembering Squall's deadly reach.  He'd been careless once before and Squall and he'd received a not-so-little scratch right across his chest for his trouble.  It was a mistake he wouldn't make twice.

            "Come here, Squall.  Dance with me."  He purred seductively and his words hit Squall with the force of a train.  Then he steeled himself against Seifer's more obvious tactics.  He wouldn't be distracted so easily this time.

            "Careful what you ask for, Almasy."  He warned.  Seifer smirked as he drew the kitana over his head in a graceful arc.

            "Always."

***

            "Kiros, look at this."  Laguna called, the smile evident in his voice.  Kiros lay his polishing cloth on the desk and strolled to the window where Laguna stood.  Below them, spread out like a scene from movie, stood the two boys, bare-chested and graceful.  One radiating determination, the other emanating an almost playful sexuality.  Squall was putting up the good fight, but Kiros had only to watch them circling each other like two overgrown lion cubs to know that Squall was in way over his head with Almasy.  That boy was sinful, plain and simple and Kiros had yet to meet the person, male or female, who could resist his lure.

            Thinking of the many times Seifer had compromised his integrity for the sake of survival made Kiros angry.  He was looking at a boy who had never had the chance to be a child and now it was too late.  The only thing that could save him now was standing opposite him, kitana raised and stormy eyes flashing.  He'd once thought Seifer Almasy to be a lost cause, but seeing him with Squall, he now knew differently.  His salvation lay in the heart of Balamb's Commander and if Squall couldn't look far enough into himself to recognize fate for what it was, he'd be Seifer's downfall.  And next time the knight wouldn't rise so easily, if he rose at all.

            "That little shit is playing with my kitanas!"  He managed to sound affronted.  Wouldn't do to let Laguna know he was playing matchmaker.  He'd be sure to open his mouth and ruin the whole thing.

            "Aw, come on, Kiros!  They're just working off a little aggression!"  He nudged his friend in the ribs a little too hard.  Kiros grunted.  Laguna laughed and did it a second time.

            "We used to do it all the time, remember?"  He glanced at Kiros, that sweet smile doing unspeakable things to Kiros' insides.  Kiros grinned, unable to help himself.

            "You can almost smell the testosterone."  He joked.  

            Laguna laughed, shaking his head.  "Yeah, that used to be us."  He laughed again.  Kiros regarded him with one perfectly arched brow.

            "Used to be?"  He asked, tone indignant.  

            Laguna grinned, missing the aggravated look Kiros shot him.

            "Yeah, man, we're old now.  Remember?"  He slapped Kiros on the back causing his beads to clack together.  Kiros gave him a baleful look as Laguna walked away, shaking his head and laughing to himself.

            Kiros settled his gaze on the boys once again, resisting the urge to pull Laguna's hair.  Hyne, that man was dense.  Kiros could probably pull out his cock and wave it at him and Laguna would scratch his head and tilt his head to the side, the way he always does when he's perplexed, and say something like, "Something wrong, buddy?"

            Kiros shook his head.  Old.  Yeah right.  Tell me another one, old man.

***

            "Hey man, come on in a minute, let me change and we can go."  Zell held the door open for Irvine as he keyed the lock and stepped inside his room.

            "Okay, but get your butt in gear, pretty boy, I got stuff to do today."  

            Zell grinned as he listened to Irvine's slow drawl coming from the other room.  He shed his clothes quickly, tripping as he tried to pull his shoes off without untying them.  He hadn't trained in two days and he could barely stand it.  Thank Hyne Irvine wasn't such a lazy bastard all the time or he'd be training with Quistis.  She was the only girl he could train with and not worry about hurting.  She'd kicked his ass on more than one occasion, so he didn't have to be so careful with her.

            Irvine was great to spar with when Zell could actually get him up and running.  All the guy wanted to do was fuck and sleep.  In that order.  Over and over.  Zell shook his head, smiling to himself.  Whatever anyone said about Irvine, they couldn't say he wasn't entertaining.  And, surprisingly enough, he was a very good friend once you got to know him.  He'd been a big help in keeping Zell's thoughts from centering squarely on Squall and staying there.  The nights, now those were a different story.  He missed Squall so much it hurt and all he wanted was for Squall to give up this stupid search and bring his ass home.  Where people actually cared about him.

            "Hurry up, short stuff, I'm not gonna feel like doin' this if I hafta wait much longer."  Irvine called out, stretching himself over Zell's sofa like a blanket.

            "Hey man, your answerin' machine's blinkin'.  You might wanna check it 'fore we go."  He told him as he leaned his head back and settled his hat over his eyes for a quick nap.

            Zell came bounding out of his bedroom; shoes laced tight, loose pants a nice contrast with the skintight shirt he wore.  Running a hand up the front of his crested bangs, he leaned over the table to check his machine.  A big red number '1' blinked intermittently and he narrowed his eyes.  Check it now?  Or later?

            "Irvine?"  He nudged his friend with one knee.  "Come on man, get your dead ass up!"

            Irvine pushed his hat back and let his gaze linger on Zell.  His eyes were hooded and lazy and Zell discovered that he wasn't immune to that look.  _Dammit.  Turn your eyes somewhere else, Romeo._

"Take it easy man, I aint sleepin', just restin' my eyes, is all."  

            Zell frowned as he hit the play button.

            "Tch, I've heard that before…" He grew silent as he listened to the machines' opening beep and the replaying of his own message.  Irvine chuckled when he heard Zell's recorded greeting.

            "What are you laughing at?"  He demanded.

            Irvine grinned.  "You're such a dork sometimes, Zell."

            Zell punched him and flopped down on the couch to pull his socks up while he listened to his message.

            When he heard the initial silence after the beep, he knew right away who it was.  Squall hated the machine and he always hesitated before leaving his message.  Zell began to wish he'd left Irvine in the hallway.  He didn't want anyone knowing the details of his and Squall's relationship.  If that's what you wanted to call it.

            He listened carefully to Squall's voice, ears trained for any hint of what he might be thinking or feeling at that moment. And so he sat, staring at the floor, chin balanced on his knuckles as he listened to the man who owned the key to his heart drone on, offering no information whatsoever and certainly not throwing anything personal in there.

            "…. whatever.  I have to go now.  See you soon."  _Beep._

Zell didn't move right away.  It was as thought his heart were weighing him down, pinning him to the seat.

            "So…" Irvine began hesitatingly.  Zell cringed.  _Please don't feel sorry for me, Irvine.  Please.  "Guess he found him."  He said pointlessly._

            Zell nodded sullenly.  "Guess so."  He agreed.

            Irvine lay his arm casually around Zell's shoulders.  Zell let him.

            "You didn't think he'd come home 'til he found him, didja, Zell?"  Irvine asked softly.

            Zell hesitated and then shook his head.  "I knew he would find him."  He said quietly.  _Why did it have to hurt so much?_

Irvine squeezed his shoulders, flashed him a reassuring smile.

            "Come on, Zell, let's go sweat it out."  He rose from his spot on the sofa and held out a hand for Zell.  Zell grasped it and let Irvine pull him up.

            "About time."  He teased, but his smile wasn't real, and Irvine knew it.  Oh well, time to face the music.  Time to get back to reality.

***

            He laughed, that laugh that wasn't anywhere near to being real but had the exact effect he'd wanted.  Squall was seething.  He was getting sloppy.

            "Is that all you got, Commander?"  He smirked, slashing the air with his blade, sending Squall jumping out of range and nearly losing his footing.

            "Fuck you, Seifer.  Quit jumping around and come get it."  Squall's voice was getting dangerously low.  Seifer was loving it.  And then he curved his blade to the left and Squall almost fell on his ass.  He looked up then and Seifer saw something…familiar in his eyes.  Uncertainty, maybe fear.  Fear…not the Lionheart.  And then Seifer's vision blurred and instead of seeing Squall balancing backwards, quite precariously, on his hands, he saw someone else.  A boy.  17 at the most.  The fear in his eyes was tangible and Seifer could almost taste it.  The boy opened his mouth, to beg, to cry.  Whatever it was, Seifer never heard it because he'd buried his sword so deeply into the boy's chest he'd had to brace the heel of his boot against him just to pull it back out again.

            Seifer slid to his knees, his kitana falling to the ground with almost no sound whatsoever.  Squall's eyes widened, he called out Seifer's name.

            Seifer knelt on the ground, his head hanging low, his bangs brushing the grass.  His body shook, from what, Squall didn't know and he didn't particularly care.  Anger forgotten, he tossed aside his weapon and fell to his knees beside Seifer's prone form.

            "Seifer, Seifer, what is it?  What is it?!"  He yelled, grabbing Seifer's shoulders and shaking him.  "Dammit, Seifer!  Talk to me!"

            Seifer trembled against him and Squall began to feel real fear.  His fingers were digging into Seifer's skin and Seifer slowly raised his eyes to meet Squall's.

            When he finally did, Squall wished he hadn't.  He'd never seen Seifer's eyes so tortured.  The look in those emerald depths revealed a side of Seifer that Squall knew he wasn't ready to meet.

            He tried to stand, to pull Seifer to his feet as well.  Whatever had just happened, Seifer was going to talk.  But he hadn't counted on Seifer being _unable to respond.  He continued to kneel at Squall's feet, the weight of his body threatening to pull Squall back to the ground._

            "Seifer, come on.  Get up."  He could feel Seifer's breath on his belly and his brows drew together in consternation.  What in the hell was going on here?

            "Seifer…" He tried again, with no real response.  And so he stood, hands in Seifer's hair, pained look on his face as he struggled with the feelings that were rushing over him, taking him over.  _Damn you, Seifer_.

            But despite his fear, his apprehension, he stood, and let Seifer wrap his arms around his waist and press his face to his skin while he knelt in the grass…and cried.

*_to be continued_…


	9. Chapter Nine

****

Seein' Red

Follow the leader now… Swallow your pride and drown…

****

He stood there, in all his stoic glory, for what seemed like hours. While the man who'd taught him what it meant to truly hurt slumped before him on his knees, his head hanging pitifully. Squall felt the first telltale pinprick of the arrow pierce his heart, and it stung. As though it were coated in poison; the venom of years of hollow disappointment, all of it belonging solely to Seifer Almasy. Only now it belonged to Squall too.

It was then that Squall's pent up rage reared its ugly head. Someone had done to Seifer what Seifer had done to him and he didn't like it. Something had happened to his longtime rival, something that had broken him and yet here he was. Whole and golden and perfect, but was he? The bitter tears that were leaving tracks across his cheeks told a different story. Where was Seifer's self-confidence now? Who had taken it from him?

He knew that there was a hell of a lot that Seifer wasn't telling him. Not really a lie, unless you can call concealing the truth a lie. Lies of omission. Squall didn't believe in them. Some things were meant to be hidden. But…this….whatever that Seifer had endured surpassed even those simple little lies that Squall could have overlooked. Someone had taken away a part of Seifer and had never given it back and Squall was willing to bet that Kiros knew more than he let on.

Looking down at Seifer, whose tears had since dried, kneeling brokenly at Squall's feet, still clinging to him like his sanity depended on it, Squall swallowed past the lump in his throat. Yes, he loved him. So fucking what? He'd deny it to anyone who asked but he'd be damned if he'd deny it to himself any longer. And all because of the murderous rage that rushed through his veins crying for retribution. Someone had blackened Seifer's soul, even more so than he'd done all by himself and Squall would seek revenge in his place. For he had a horrible feeling that Seifer had done his share of killing already. It was time to unburden Seifer's damning conscience, and if he had to take a few lives to do it, then so be it. He was going to be the one to give Seifer back his life, and not in a handful of broken, jagged pieces. 

Kiros would tell him what he wanted to know. And he wouldn't have to ask more than once. 

Squall tightened his fingers in Seifer's hair once more, marveling at its silky texture when it looked so unmoving. It slid like silk through his fingers and he closed his eyes, savoring it. Why did no one ever tell him how much it hurt to love someone? Squall only hoped that spilling a little blood would appease the devil in him today. He was going to face Seifer's demons, and he could only imagine how terrible it would be.

He stepped back slightly, releasing his hold on Seifer who looked up in surprise. Surprise because Squall was letting him go, or surprise because he'd held him so close in the first place, Squall didn't know. He supposed it didn't really matter since he didn't plan on speaking about this again.

He turned slowly, almost as an afterthought, operating on autopilot now and bent to retrieve the two forgotten blades that lay in the grass. Almost symbolic in their abandonment, Squall shook his head. He always saw the hidden meaning, when no one else could.

"Get yourself together. I'll take these in to Kiros." His distant tone wasn't lost on Seifer and he didn't raise his head in an attempt to meet Squall's eyes. What could he say anyway? He'd humbled himself, disgraced himself, revealed the coward that lurked inside. The one he'd thought he'd hidden so well. Squall would never meet his eyes again. He might as well crawl back into a sewer somewhere, since it was what he seemed destined for.

Squall must have sensed what he was thinking because he paused near the conservatory's door, the slight, sheathed blades hefted easily within his grasp.

"Don't go anywhere, I'll be back later." It was not a request.

Seifer acknowledged him with silence. Acquiesced with his lack of argument. Squall heard his agreement, unspoken as it was and he moved through the glass doors with as much grace as he could manage with Seifer Almasy's tears still drying on his skin.

***

"Where you going with that look on your face, little lion?" Kiros' light, superior tone wasn't something Squall was in the mood for at the moment, if he was ever in the mood for it at all.

"Don't call me that, Seagill." His annoyed tone was entirely different from the one he'd used at the table this morning. Kiros caught the subtle alteration immediately.

"Something wrong, Commander?" He asked, the teasing note gone from his voice.

Squall started to shake his head but instead paused and considered Kiros' words.

"Yes. Something's wrong." How to learn what he needed to know?

"Well are you going to tell me or should I start guessing?" Kiros' voice was edged in irritation. Hyne, this boy was a real pain in the ass. Moody little bastard.

Squall scowled at him as he placed Kiros' weapons back in their display case.

"I was getting to that." He glared when he finally turned around. Kiros raised an eyebrow.

"I'm waiting." He prompted, crossing his arms over his chest. He was so willowy that he could almost wrap his arms around himself and Squall noticed, not for the first time, just how pretty Kiros actually was. Shaking his head, annoyed with himself for getting distracted, he closed the distance between them until he stood close enough to see how dark Kiros' eyes really were. They were the color of umber, so dark they were practically black with just enough warmth in them to make you wonder what secrets he had hidden behind them.

"What's wrong with Seifer?" Squall asked with no preamble. Kiros grinned.

"What do you mean, 'what's wrong with Seifer'? He looks okay to me." 

Kiros' slightly teasing voice was only succeeding in angering Squall further. He knew damn good and well what Squall was talking about. He was toying with him, baiting him. Squall's patience evaporated. He grabbed Kiros' by the shirt and pulled hard. Kiros' stumbled but caught himself just before he fell into Mr. Ice.

"Watch who you're grabbing, little lion, you might lose a hand." Kiros warned in that silky tone of voice. Squall caught the warning, but was simply too angry to heed it. He didn't release Kiros' and he didn't back off, he only held on tighter and brought Kiros' closer to him. He could feel the taller man's breath on his cheek.

"Something happened to Seifer and I want to know what it is. And I want _you_ to tell me all about it." He growled softly as Kiros raised an eyebrow at him.

"What's with the dramatics all of a sudden? Why don't you just ask Seifer?" Kiros wanted to know as he extricated himself from Squall's iron grip.

Squall let the other man go and ran a frustrated hand through his unruly tresses as he sighed aloud. The unknown was killing him. He never imagined Seifer's secrets would bother him so much. He'd thought he could handle not knowing. But he knew now that he couldn't, he was going to have to know. If he were going to help Seifer bury the past, he was going to have to know what the hell had been going on for the past few months.

"Because he's on his knees crying in the garden, Kiros. And I don't mean the pretty little tears that cling to your eyelashes before sliding down your cheek. I'm talking about the soul-racking sobs that only come from a man when he's been completely broken down. Now tell me or don't tell me but don't play with me. I'll find out if I have to kill to do it."

Squall's stormy eyes had never sparked such fire, nor had his words ever held such venom. Kiros felt something inside him sigh in relief and it was in this way that he knew where Squall's heart lie, finally. He deserved to know.

Kiros walked over to the window that overlooked the conservatory and he stood silently observing Seifer. The boy was still kneeling in the grass, his golden head bowed, hands pressed against the ground, most probably lost in a nightmare. Kiros shook his head. He ached for all that Seifer had lost and could lose again. He turned to face Squall, who was still fighting mad, and he sighed heavily.

"I'll tell you what I can and the rest you'll have to promise to leave alone, Seifer's life could depend on it."

Squall's brow furrowed. "I don't see why…"

Kiros held a hand up. "Don't argue with me boy, just listen to what I have to say and don't ask questions that I can't answer." He sounded angry. Squall nodded, not happy, but willing to take whatever he could get.

"Fine." He finally agreed.

Kiros turned his eyes away from Seifer, knowing he'd be unable to tell the story if he were looking at him during the recounting of it.

"It was about eight months ago, I think, that I was informed of his arrival."

"Who told you?" Squall interrupted. Kiros slid him a quelling glance.

"Let me finish and don't say anything till I'm done. If you still have questions and I'm able to answer them, I will do so then, understood?"

Squall, nodded, more than a little miffed to be taken down in such a way.

"He had nowhere left to go, he'd been in many towns and finding no welcome in any of them, came here as a last resort. Just between you and me, I don't know what he'd have done if he hadn't found a place here."

He paused, moving over to rack on the wall that displayed his ornately designed scythes. Fingering the edge of the blade absently, he licked his lips, unsure of how much information to depart with. Seifer wouldn't appreciate this betrayal of confidence, but Kiros felt he really had no choice. Squall needed to know what Seifer had been put through if he were ever going to understand what made him tick. And if he intended to save Seifer from himself, he needed to hear this. Appreciating Squall's silence, he turned to face him, his expression not quite hostile, but not welcoming either.

"I won't bore you with the details, but I will tell you that Seifer was drafted almost immediately by a very wicked overlord. His reputation preceded him, you see, and this particular group of people didn't really care whether or not Seifer had been under a Sorceress' influence at the time of his defection. They knew only what they'd heard of him and they were suitably impressed. I'm guessing that they'd planned on using him as hired muscle, knowing that no one would stand against him based simply on his reputation. Sort of like Billy the Kid, huh?" He attempted a smile. Squall frowned.

"Who?" He sounded annoyed.

Kiros closed his eyes. "Never mind, it's not important."

Squall shifted his weight from one hip to the other, clearly not impressed with Kiros' storytelling technique.

"Anyway, somehow, I don't think Seb ever planned on letting Seifer go. He wanted him by his side, doing his dirty work for as long as he could keep him alive."

Squall lay a hand on Kiros' sleeve, a strange light in his eyes.

"Dirty work?" He asked cautiously, ignoring his earlier promise not to interrupt.

Kiros nodded. "He was a hired killer, Squall. He's killed more people than he can probably even count."

Squall shrugged, taking his hand away and resting it casually on his gunblade.

"We've all killed. How can we keep track of them all? Why would that affect him so much? He had to stay alive, didn't he?"  
Kiros eyed Squall carefully, a sly look on his face.

"How many have you killed Squall? Give me a number."

Squall turned his eyes away. "How can I possibly remember that? I'm a mercenary for Hyne's sake. Don't be ridiculous, Kiros."

Kiros moved to his side and grasped Squall's chin firmly between his fingers. He turned Squall's sullen gaze back to his own and held him fast.

"Don't try it, prettyboy. You know exactly how many men you've killed and I'm willing to bet you can remember their family names, too."

Squall was silent for a moment, but his eyes cursed Kiros in several different languages before he pulled away from Kiros' knowing hold and ground out, "One hundred and twenty seven. There, you happy?"

Kiros snickered. "No, little lion, I'm not happy that you've become such a dangerous weapon, but I needed to make a point, which is what I've just done. You can remember the men you've killed. Seifer cannot. And he didn't limit his kills to only men. He's killed women, he's killed boys younger than him, he's toppled empires, infiltrated other gangs and dismantled them from the ground up. Around here, people don't tell their children tales about the boogey man, they tell them stories about the Sorceress' Knight."

Squall closed his eyes. "Seifer." He breathed. Kiros nodded while he watched Squall grapple with the implications of what he'd just learned. The man who owned his heart was a murdering villain. And he was stuck – again.

"Why did he do it? He could have said no! He didn't have to do it all again."

Squall looked as though his heart was breaking and Kiros hated to be the bearer of such information, but there were certain truths that needed to be told.

"No, he couldn't have refused." Kiros told him quietly. "They would have executed him, no question, but only after days, perhaps weeks, of unspeakable torture."

Squall turned his disillusioned gaze on Kiros', all traces of anger vanished. 

"Why would they do that?" The thought was so unutterably foreign to Squall that he couldn't bring himself to grasp the simple concept of true evil.

Kiros sighed. "Because they could. It's really that simple. You're no stranger to evil, Squall, you know that it exists purely for its own sake."

Squall felt as though he might slide to his knees much the same as Seifer had done only minutes before. And then the rage was back. Seifer had compromised his soul in order to save himself and no matter what he'd done, Squall couldn't fault him for that. Survival above all else. As long as you lived to see the sun rise again, you weren't cursed. He would make it right again, and he just might shed a little blood in the doing of it.

"Where are they?" He asked, deadly quiet and dangerously low. Kiros shook his head, began to deny him, to shield him until Squall stepped forward, graceful and sure, gunblade at the ready.

"You will tell me, Kiros. You know that I can find them on my own, and you know I will. Tell me."

Kiros closed his eyes, weighing his options. "Laguna would kill me…"

Squall shook his head. "Don't bring him into this. This is about me and the fucking bastards who made Seifer break down right in front of me. They have to pay, Kiros. I demand it."

Kiros' shoulders slumped and Squall knew he'd won.

"Fine, little lion, you win. But I will accompany you." It was not up for discussion.

Squall nodded. "Agreed."

Kiros pulled his Katal from the rack and turned to face the young Commander.

"Let's go. And I'll warn you, it could get messy."

Squall nodded tightly, his face drawn in determination. "I'm counting on it."

Kiros sighed. If they lived through this one, Laguna really was going to have a fit. A straight up, no-holds-barred, clear the room hissy fit. And Squall would finally get to see where his temper truly came from. Hyne help them all…

To be continued…

*Squaresoft owns the pretty boys and Unwritten Law owns the title (what an awesome song)…


	10. Chapter Ten

****

Come Out and Play

You gotta keep 'em separated

Zell drew back his fist almost as though he was suspended in time. Irvine watched the graceful line of his body as he drove the punch home and vanquished the light in the creature's eyes. When it had faded out of sight, Zell stepped back, fists still raised, chest heaving from exertion and throughout it all, that irresistible sparkle in his blue eyes. Irvine couldn't tear his eyes away.

"Good hit, Zell." He offered softly, his slow, easy drawl crawling over Zell like honey. He grinned, flashing fangs and revealing his mischievous nature as he always did. Many men had been lulled into a false sense of security when facing Zell in battle. It was those eyes and that disarming little grin. It hid the power beneath it all, and hid it well. He looked like a Boy Scout to Irvine, and damn if he hadn't always had a thing for those cute little uniforms. 

"It was nothing, besides, I've been cooped up for two days and I'm ready to knock a hole through something." He grinned again and it almost induced Irvine to utter the illicit offer that was poised on the tip of his tongue. At the last second he thought better of it and simply nodded his understanding instead. Zell wasn't ready to say goodbye to Squall yet, it was still too soon to reveal his intentions to him. But when the time came, when the Commander returned to Garden with his knight in tow, Irvine would make his move and he would finally make Zell his. His turquoise eyes narrowed and he licked his lips absently as he watched the light sheen of sweat glisten on Zell's skin. 

"Irvine?" Zell's voice pulled him out of his reverie and he grinned at him, pushing his cowboy hat back from his face just a bit. Let him look into his eyes, just once, and he would know for certain, one way or another, whether or not Zell Dincht would ever be up for grabs. For him, anyway. The Commander had him now, lock, stock and cock and even though neither boy had declared any sort of commitment to the other, Irvine saw the look on Zell's face anytime he came into contact with Squall Leonhart. He lost his ability to think, to reason and was left instead with this blank, staring, needing expression that told all his secrets without him ever saying a word.

Only problem was, Squall belonged to Seifer, always had, always would and once the formalities had been dispensed with, the shit was going to hit the fan. Zell would need a shoulder to cry on. Irvine planned to be there to offer his shoulder and anything else that Zell might require of him. It was only a matter of time…

"Hey man, I asked you if you were ready to go, I need a shower." He remarked, his nose wrinkling as he pulled his tank top over his head and began to wring it out. It actually dripped water. And Irvine felt as though his mouth were about to do the same. He gulped, inaudibly, but he'd done it. He felt like an untried schoolboy just looking at Zell. A shower? He'd almost prefer Chinese water torture. But then he gave a small shrug. What was the difference really? Torture was torture, and at least after the shower he'd have something else to add to his ever growing…_daydream _gallery.

He grinned back at Zell and pulled his hat off his head, shaking his honey tresses free of its band and letting them feather over his shoulders, frame his face. He watched the smile fade slowly from Zell's face and he suddenly felt a little less burdened by the situation he was in. Zell was ogling his hair, which was good. Wait till he took his clothes off.

"I'm ready when you are, short stuff."

***

Laguna watched Seifer silently, his heart swelling with something that felt almost like pity, but not quite. Seifer would die before he allowed anyone to pity him, so Laguna decided not to try to name the unfamiliar emotion. Better for everyone involved, actually.

He held a small tray that boasted two glasses of lemonade and some sort of shortbread cookies. A strange combination, to say the least, but the chef swore that they were made to be consumed together and so Laguna had shrugged, took the tray and smiled his thanks. Polite and considerate to his servants, that was the President of Esthar. Too damn nice for his own good. 

Seifer sat silently and still as a statue beneath the shade of a willow tree. Its branches seemed to rain leafy tears over the boy's golden head and Laguna smiled at the sight that he presented. His somber mood was easily detected; he didn't bother to hide it, which was something Laguna truly admired about Seifer. He never offered false emotions and he never bothered to cover up his own pain. It simply manifested itself in another guise and Laguna didn't want to contemplate any of that. He tried not to dwell on Seifer's past, although he was aware of it and accepted it as something that couldn't be swept under the rug. 

Seifer didn't look up as Laguna approached him, he merely continued playing with a blade of grass that had been overlooked near the base of the tree. Laguna noticed the unsightly patch of grass and knew that he was really going to have to speak to the gardener about being a little more consistent…

"Squall's not here." Seifer told him, his voice gruff but not unkind.

Laguna smiled and held a glass out to Seifer, who took it without looking up.

"Well, good, because I didn't come here to talk to Squall." He said happily.

Seifer grinned but still didn't raise his head.

"So you came out here to talk to me?" He asked, almost teasingly.

"No, I just wanted to enjoy the garden today." 

Seifer almost grinned as he continued to speak to the ground.

"You wanted to enjoy your garden with two glasses of lemonade and a plateful of cookies?" Now he was teasing.

Laguna offered him that shy smile that he had miraculously managed to hold onto over the years and Seifer couldn't help responding to it.

He snagged a cookie from the tray and bit into it, sending crumbs scattering to the ground.

"We just had breakfast, Laguna, how can you be hungry?" He asked around a mouthful of cookie.

Laguna shrugged. "I'm always hungry, and I know you and Squall were out here playing around and…"

_Oh, way to go bigmouth!_ Laguna briefly contemplating smacking himself but decided to take the less obvious route. He didn't want to put Seifer on his guard by making him wonder if he'd been spying on the two of them.

"You saw us fighting?" Seifer asked, finally looking up to meet Laguna's eyes. Laguna shrugged.

"I saw you sparring, but I didn't stay to see the grand finale. It looked…personal." Laguna looked away, the faintest of blushes tingeing his cheeks. Seifer suppressed a grin.

"It's always personal with us, you know that." Seifer said, the discomfort in his voice apparent even to Laguna.

"Uh, yeah, so…are you guys…?" Laguna let his voice trail off, silently cursing himself for his lack of eloquence. Why couldn't he carry on a conversation like a normal person? He closed his eyes, hiding them with his hand.

Seifer had to grin at the picture Laguna presented in that moment. He felt as though he were being treated to a glimpse of the future Squall. And then his smile faded. This was assuming he was going to be around to see it. He felt the tug at his heart when he imagined being without Squall for the rest of his life. No way. He'd fight hell before he let that happen. His lip curled in the shadow of a sneer as he imagined all the possibilities that could separate them. He'd die first. But Laguna was watching his face intently and he knew he was going to have to answer him.

"Yes." It was all he had to say. Laguna nodded once and reached for another cookie.

"I thought so." He said.

Seifer raised an eyebrow. "Is it that obvious?" 

Laguna shook his head, cookie crumbs dropping onto his shirt when he moved.

"I went into Squall's room this morning. His bed was empty."

Seifer tipped his glass up, swallowing the last of his lemonade. Laguna watched the line of his throat, so sleek and inviting and he suddenly understood his son's attraction. Seifer Almasy was a beautiful boy. _Man_. He corrected himself. Seifer hadn't been a boy even when he was younger. And he was a man now, a man who was running from demons that Laguna doubted Squall was even aware of. He hoped his son had the perseverance to see it through. The road would be a long one. 

Seifer shot him a strange look, veiled and vaguely annoyed.

"It's not what you think." And then he cringed as the words left his mouth. Did he really just say that?

Laguna smiled wistfully. "It's none of my business anyway." He told Seifer, his voice a little sad.

Seifer grabbed another cookie from the plate and studied Laguna. He saw so much of Squall in him. He doubted if Squall ever saw the similarities. 

"It is your business. He's your son. That makes it your business."

Laguna's eyes widened before his face settled into a relaxed sort of grin.

"Thank you." He said simply. Seifer eased back on one elbow, enjoying, for one of the few times of his life, the fact that he was free to just lie in the grass and…be.

"Squall and I have always been at each other's throats. His knowing how I really feel about him only complicates matters." Seifer paused, as though he might say something else, but then he fell silent once more. Laguna considered his words for a long while, breaking the silence with a small sigh.

"So, you love him?" _I cannot believe we're having this conversation_.

"Yes." Seifer met his eyes and Laguna was a bit dazed by the potency of his sharp emerald stare. His sincerity was touching. His emotions hovered so near to his surface that Laguna could almost feel his obsession. It awed him, to realize that such an emotion existed that could rival the love that he had felt for Raine. It was humbling.

"I'm sorry if I'm prying." Laguna told him. Seifer shook his head and lay back in the grass, hands beneath his head, as he contemplated the fine fucking mess he'd gotten himself into. In for a penny, right? He'd just told Squall's daddy something that he was pretty sure made him feel just the teeniest bit awkward. Yet there he sat, munching on shortbread and smiling at the hummingbirds. This whole situation was a psychiatrist's wet dream and didn't it just figure that Seifer Almasy was right smack in the middle of it all? It made him wonder where Squall was. And when he was coming back.

***

"You sure about this?" Kiros asked him again, for about the tenth time since they'd left the palace. Squall scowled and contemplated murdering his father's best friend.

"Yes." He muttered through gritted teeth. Kiros shrugged, sliding his blades back and forth within the sheathes that hung from his belt.

"Okay, little lion. Let's go."

Squall halted Kiros' advance with a hand on his arm.

"What, now?" Kiros demanded and Squall knew he was feeling rattled.

"Stop calling me that." Squall told him in his usual monotone.

Kiros rolled his eyes. "Fine, and Squall?"

Squall eased away and tightened his gunbelt. "Yeah?"

Kiros looked up, eyeing the iron gates that signified their entrance into Hell. Smug bastards.

"Don't underestimate these men. They can hand your head to you on a silver platter before you even realize they're upon you. Please be careful."

Squall squared his shoulders. "I didn't get to be Commander of Balamb Garden by being careless. I know what I'm doing. I've killed before, remember?"

"Yeah, yeah, I know. I remember, One hundred twenty seven. Your point?"

Squall grinned slyly. "You asked how many men _I'd _killed. You didn't say anything about the men my guardian forces have killed."

A slow grin spread across Kiros' face, lighting his ebony features like sunlight on marble. "I'll choose my words more carefully next time, then."

"Good idea. I'm perfectly capable of dealing with these bastards." He told Kiros with grim determination. 

"Let's hope your reputation carries some weight, prettyboy."

Squall scoffed, pushing his sleeves up higher on his forearms. "Look who's talking."

*

*

*

He stood blocking the entrance to the stone fortress, bare chested, low slung black pants hanging on his hips, black ink marring the alabaster perfection of his body, and in his right hand was the deadliest looking scimitar Squall had ever seen.

The boy was young. 16 or 17 and his beauty was enough to make a person lightheaded. His tousled blonde hair hung into his eyes, obscuring the color but not the long black lashes. His cheekbones were high and sculpted, his lips pink and looked misleadingly sweet. Squall knew they would whisper endearments even while he was burying his blade into someone's back. Killing beauty. And then he spoke.

"What do you want?" Husky and low, the voice of an assassin. Someone who was used to working under the cover of darkness.

Kiros stepped up. "Hello there, Kato. We're here to see Seb."

Kato grinned, his full lips pulling back into a sneer. His teeth were white, even, perfect.

"I don't think so, Kiros. I remember what happened the last time you showed up here."

"I only did what I had to do, Kato. Seb could have handed the boy over and there would have been no blood shed."

Squall glanced at Kiros, surprised. So he _had _rescued Seifer. 

"Doesn't matter, Kiros, you broke the rules and if I let you in here he might kill me to make up for it."

"Don't make me force my way in, Kato. You know me well enough to know that I'm not bluffing." Kiros grew still, his voice low. Squall understood the danger they could be facing at that moment. And he just couldn't bring himself to care.

"Get the fuck out of my way or I'll kill you." He growled, gunblade at the ready.

Kato turned his gaze to Squall slow, lazily.

"What have you brought me today, Kiros? A present?" Kato licked his lips as his gaze traveled the length of Squall's body, his hair catching in his lashes as he blinked.

"Don't think so." Squall warned. "Don't try to stop me, I'm warning you."

Kato flashed Kiros an amused little grin. "Oh, this one has fire, Kiros, remind me to thank you later."

Squall's grip on his gunblade tightened, and the assassin didn't miss it.

"Watch yourself, sweet thing, I don't want have to relieve you of that pretty little head."

Kiros lay a hand on Squall's shoulder.

"Squall. Easy."

Kato's eyes widened in appreciation and he swiped at his bangs so as to get a better look at the beautiful boy that stood before him, clad entirely in black.

"So, you've brought me the Commander. This is a treat." He smiled.

Kiros stepped forward once more. 

"He is not a gift, Kato and he's here to see Seb."

Kato paused for a moment before he threw back his head and laughed. His laugh sent a chill down Squall's spine. Even in humor this boy was enticing. The scent of sex clung to him like mist on a rainy morning. Squall steeled himself against him. He'd come here for Seifer and Seifer only. 

"Seb will kill him." Kato stated when he'd regained his composure.

Kiros grinned. "I don't think so."

"He had no problem breaking Seifer Almasy. This sweet little thing will be even less of a challenge, I'll warrant."

Before Kiros could warn him away, Squall was moving fast. Sweeping the boy's weapon from beneath his leaning grip, Kiros watched it skitter aside and Squall pushed him back against the iron bars, his gloved hand grasping Kato's neck tightly.

"I'm enough of a challenge for you, wouldn't you say?"

Kato watched him easily, unmoving beneath Squall's death grip with an almost sparkle in his eyes. They were blue. Bluer than the ocean, bluer than the sky. Bluer than Zell's eyes. _Dammit._

"I'm not Seb, pretty one. You could snap my neck in two seconds and it would be over. Seb would make you suffer. I don't possess one tenth of his power."

Squall continued to hold the boy pinned to the bars and the heat of his body began to penetrate the shirt Squall wore. Kato raised his chin a notch and looked at Squall from beneath his bangs.

"He called for you, you know? In his sleep. He cried for you."

Squall stiffened. He wasn't going to ask how the boy knew that. He had a sinking feeling the answer would be close to what he was already imagining.

"Don't push me." Squall warned, his self-control perilously close to snapping. Kato shrugged. 

"Release me. I'll take you in." Kato murmured softly.

"I don't trust you." Squall told him.

Kato grinned as he leaned closer to Squall until their noses were touching.

"Smart boy." And then he kissed him. Fast, hard, possessively. He kissed him. His pink tongue darted between Squall's slack lips and swept through sweetly until reality blindsided Squall and he pushed him away, swiping at his lips furiously.

"You little bastard." He ground out.

Kato grinned. "Been called worse."

Squall lifted his blade from its holster. "I could kill you right now."

Kato shrugged, his bright eyes teasing. "It was worth it." And he winked. He had the audacity to wink at Squall after he'd forced a kiss on him.

Squall scowled. "Shut up and show me where that bastard is."

Kiros was watching, fascinated, as Squall took a firmer grip on his composure. He admired him. Being on the receiving end of that kiss must have been a little bit like dipping your finger into a bowl of cookie dough and getting one small taste before being told that you just couldn't have anymore.

The little tease. Kiros couldn't bring himself to be angry. Kato was something else. Exactly what, Kiros wasn't sure yet. 

"Come with me, gentleman. We'll do it your way. It's your lives on the line after all."

Kiros shook his head. "I thought you said Seb would kill you for letting us through."

Kato nodded. "He will. But if you guys walk out of here alive, then you're taking me with you."

Kiros laughed loudly, unable to refrain. Squall shot him a dirty look.

"You're a brat, Kato. An incorrigible little brat."

Kato flashed him a grin. "Well, then I'll make good company 'round the house, right?"

Squall rolled his eyes. No way was he letting this dirty little slut anywhere near Seifer. It was last thing he wanted. 

"Just show us the way." Squall told him gruffly.

Kato turned, tossing Squall a casual glance before picking up his blade and sliding it into the sheath at his back.

"As you wish, Commander. Don't say I didn't warn you."

Squall flexed his forearms, the leather tightening around them familiarly. 

"I won't." He promised. "Now let's go."

Kiros took a deep breath, ready to face the devil…again.

"We're doing this for Seifer, Squall, remember that."

Squall shot him a disbelieving look. "As if I could ever forget. I'm not here just to raise a little hell, General."

Kiros grinned, his smile disarming as it always was, even when he was preparing to kill. "Too bad."

Kato chuckled. "Count me in. I never liked the bastard anyway."

Squall narrowed his eyes. "Enough. Let's go."

Kato flashed his flirty grin. "Seifer always said you were an impatient one."

Kiros raised his eyes heavenward. "You don't know the half of it…but we'll get to that later"

Kato sobered suddenly. "If there is a later." He said softly, all teasing gone.

"Oh, there will be a later. I promise you that." Squall vowed.

Kato paused when they reached a heavy iron door. "Welcome to hell, Commander."

Squall lifted Lionheart from its cradle and looked directly at Kato. 

"No need to welcome me. I've been there before."

***

*tbc

*Squaresoft…Offspring…I just own the writing ;)


	11. Chapter Eleven

**__**

Plug In Baby

Crucify my enemies…when I'm tired of giving…

Through the forbidding iron door lay a hallway whose splendor eclipsed even the Presidential Palace. The carpeting was a rich, deep red, the walls were colored gold, though whether or not it was paint, Squall couldn't tell. For all he knew the walls were gold all the way through. The inside of the palace was a direct contradiction of its outside façade. It was bright, the lights that hung suspended from the ceiling and clung to the walls shone like amplified candlelight, soft, yet casting no shadows. 

"Nice, eh?" Kato asked, his teasing voice faint with the underlying hint of apprehension. Squall could feel it within himself and he glanced at Kiros to see if there was any indication of the older man's feelings written on his face. There wasn't.

"No, it's not nice. It's opulent and tacky." Squall told him flatly.

Kato favored him with a small grin. "Well don't say it like you want to wound me, I'm not the decorator around here."

They continued down the corridor, Squall wishing only that this little impromptu drama would end soon and he could do what he had come to do.

"So who is?" He asked as they rounded the corner, not really caring, just wanting to hear something other than the eerie stillness of the room.

"I did." The voice was sweet and silky and sure as hell didn't belong to either Kato or Kiros. 

Squall turned his head sharply to the left and was stunned by the sight that greeted him. What, or rather, who, stood in the doorway was enough to stop a man's heart. She was tall, close to six feet if Squall's guess was correct. She had a long curtain of red hair that shimmered to her waist. So heavy and straight that it didn't lay over her shoulders delicately, but instead spilled down her back in one long straight line, lending her a severe appearance that warred strangely with the delicate perfection of her face. She smiled at Squall, her lips promising all sorts of unearthly delights without a single word passing through them. Her eyes sparkled as she took him in, long-lashed and the color of finely aged whiskey. High cheekbones, sculpted features, she was unnaturally beautiful and Squall discovered that he was not immune to her lure.

She wore a short gold colored dress that did little to hide the shape of her body, another study in perfection. Long-limbed, lithe and she moved with the grace of a feline. She knew very well what kind of effect she had on men and she was not averse to using their weaknesses to her advantage. Squall wasn't sure how he knew all this about her, perhaps it was the challenge that sparked in her eyes. It was unmistakable. And then she began to speak.

"So very nice to see you again, Kiros."

Kiros nodded a greeting, clearly unimpressed. "As always, Sanura, it is a pleasure." His tone left no doubt as to just how pleased he was. His sarcasm was biting.

"And who is this delightful little morsel you've brought me?" She teased, her body swaying seductively as she drew nearer to Squall's side. He tensed.

"I wouldn't get too close, Sanura, he's not quite as harmless as he appears." Kato warned, obviously enjoying the game. Sanura met his gaze directly; all traces of smile gone.

"Why have you come?" Her direct stare was meant to unnerve him, but Squall met her gaze head on.

"Restitution." He told her in a low voice.

She paused, one long red nail resting on her chin as she pretended to ponder deeply what such a cryptic remark could mean. And as suddenly as her smile had faded, it had returned, and she laughed delightedly. The sound of her laughter brought images to mind that had little to do with humor and everything to do with sex.

"Ah, so the Commander has come at last." She managed.

Squall felt Kiros tense beside him, which had him leveling his gunblade higher and focusing his attention on the woman.

"So happy that I can amuse you." Squall drawled sardonically, surprising Kiros with the easy way he countered Sanura.

"Amuse me? Not quite, Lionheart. Wonder, perhaps, and incredulity that you would be so very stupid." And she shot a venomous look at Kato, her catlike eyes narrowing warningly.

"And you, Kato, you will die for this." She told him easily. He shrugged, casually, unruffled, pulling a low husky laugh from her.

"Gotta die sometime, right? Besides, I was getting tired of the scenery."

Squall wanted to lower his eyes and bite his lip. Kato had an indecent amount of disrespect for everything. He didn't want to like him, and he struggled to hide his amusement. He had a feeling that Sanura would not appreciate being laughed at.

"Indeed, we all die sometime." She grew silent, her warm gaze raking him from head to toe. "It's too bad your death will come so soon. I will miss the feel of your skin, Kato, throughout eternity I will miss it."

Kato said nothing, but Squall felt his discomfort. She was baiting him, but to what end, Squall wasn't sure.

"I will miss it as well." A low silky voice added, sounding strangely like Sanura's, whose lips hadn't moved. Squall took a step back and looked around quickly, not wanting to take his eyes off Sanura.

The woman who stepped out of the shadows was the mirror image of Sanura right down to the tiny dimple in her chin that made itself known only when she was smirking, which she did easily and many times a day, it seemed.

"Who the fuck are you?" Squall asked, almost growling. The woman laughed, irritatingly condescending, like Sanura.

She moved to stand beside her twin, wrapping her arms around her waist and resting her chin on her sister's shoulder. As she met his eyes, she placed small nibbling kisses along the line of her twin's neck, smiling deviously all the while.

"Do you really have to ask?" She asked him teasingly. "Can't you guess?" She practically purred when she spoke and Squall struggled against the urge to reach out and touch the curtain of her hair.

"I can guess, but I'd rather you tell me." He said as he moved to one side, placing himself opposite the two women and beside Kato. He didn't like the boy standing at his back.

"All will be revealed, Lion of Balamb, in due time." She purred.

Squall took a step in their direction, no hint of amusement on his face.

"Don't play games with me, I'll kill you where you stand." He told her, and he caught Kato's snicker from beside him.

"What's so funny?" He asked, wanting nothing more than to knock Kato unconscious for a few hours. 

"They won't fight you, Squall." Kiros told him in a low voice, hesitant and…afraid?

He turned back to the two women, who were standing close enough to appear one person. Sanura angled her head to allow her sister better access to her neck. He steeled himself against blinking and breaking eye contact.

"I'm not here to play games." He told them, backing up a step when Sanura's twin moved away from her and advanced in Squall's direction. He wanted to keep backing up, but knew his pride wouldn't allow it.

"You just got here," She murmured silkily, "It's a bit too early to be declaring your intentions, don't you think?" 

"No. Now get the fuck out of my way." 

Kiros had never heard that tone of voice from Squall before and he began to feel decidedly uncomfortable. Kato moved to stand beside him and they watched Squall attempt to hold his ground against such an unfamiliar enemy. The girls hadn't made any real threats…yet, but the unspoken ones remained.

Sanura's twin stood belly to belly with Squall and he had to lift his chin to meet her eyes. She tilted her head, smiling down at him, her eyes most probably capable of inducing trance-like states of consciousness, but still he stared.

"My name is Vema." She told him politely and he shook his head. This whole thing was too bizarre. He was going into the next room to eviscerate someone and yet here he was, shaking hands with an amazon like they were going to sit down to tea. He shook his head again.

"I didn't come here to exchange pleasantries." 

Kato grinned. "I can vouch for that."

Squall turned on him. "Shut up. I don't need your help."

Kato simply grinned and leaned back against the wall, crossing his arms over his bare chest.

Squall turned back to Vema just in time to see her slide gracefully to her knees to rest at his feet. She looked up at him and licked her lips slowly. Squall felt his chest tighten. _Dammit._

"I have no interest in either you or your sister, now get out of my way or I'll move you myself." He warned her. Vema smiled at him, her eyes alight with real pleasure.

"You move me now, Commander, can you not feel it?" She moved to rub her cheek against the soft leather that covered his thigh and he repressed a shudder. He knew that this was all an act for his benefit, designed to throw his concentration.

"Get up." He growled. Her lips twisted into a sultry pout before she tipped her chin up and ran her tongue up the length of Squall's thigh, her eyes challenging him all the while. Squall swallowed once, wavering briefly, the temptation very, very real. Her tongue left a visible trail on his shiny leather and he fought the urge to knock her down with his boot.

"I'm not going to warn you again." He ground out, his voice catching on the last word. She heard it and grinned.

"You say you don't want me." A slow perusal up the line of his body. "Your body speaks quite differently."

Squall's eyes narrowed and he stepped back forcefully, shaking her loose. He leveled his gunblade at her and sneered.

"I can resist you, bitch, and quite easily at that. Now take us to Seb before I lose my patience."

Vema stood with all the same dignity she'd employed before, looking unruffled and strangely satisfied.

"You are a worthy opponent. I will enjoy watching Seb take you apart." She purred as she moved to stand at her sister's side, her eyes sliding shut as their lips met in one final display of forbidden delights. Sanura moaned softly when her twin's tongue invaded her mouth and Vema drew back, glancing at Squall triumphantly.

"You have no idea what you've missed." She told him smugly as Sanura's arm slipped around her waist possessively.

Squall sneered, unable to resist the need to drive his rejection home.

"Oh, I do." He assured her. "It wasn't a difficult choice. At all."

Kato grinned, admiration building steadily for the Lion of Balamb. _He'd _never been able to tell the devil sisters no. Weakness on his part, he guessed. Ah, well. He'd had many an illicit fantasy fulfilled while in under the spell of the twins.

Vena grinned. "Go then, I dare you to face him in his chamber. He's waiting for you, you know."

Squall looked at Kiros, choosing to ignore the taunting women. "You ready?" He questioned him without glancing at Kato. Kiros nodded. 

"As I'll ever be. Let the blood shed be quick, we've wasted enough daylight as it is."

Squall nodded and as an afterthought, glanced over at Kato. "You coming?" He asked just a trifle too hostile. Kato grinned.

"I know you want me. You don't have to be so sweet, Commander."

Kiros snickered once before Squall quelled him with an icy stare. He'd had about all he could take today.

"I'm done playing with you, slut. Kiros, come on." He demanded before spinning on his heel and advancing toward the door, confident that the twins would not hinder him.

Kato sauntered along behind him, amazingly calm for one who was supposedly near to meeting his doom. He nudged Kiros gently, flashing his grin when Kiros turned to glare at him. 

"What is it, now?" He asked quietly. 

Kato grinned. "You always let him order you around like that?"

Kiros shoved him aside with his elbow and glared.

"Don't you ever shut up?" He hissed.

Kato shrugged. "Sometimes."

They heard Squall cursing loudly down the long corridor and when they came upon him he turned to face Kato. 

"Another fucking iron door." He glared accusingly at Kato, who shrugged.

"Open it. It's not locked."

Squall stared at him for a second, not really wanting to turn the knob to find it locked and have to suffer through another bout of Kato's giggling.

However, he was beginning to feel the stress of the day and was growing angry, which always made him careless.

Ignoring Kato's knowing smile, he turned the doorknob and let the door open of its own accord. The chamber that lay beyond it was a direct contrast of the rest of the palace. Dark, squalid and purposefully despairing, the chamber held one piece of furniture. A large iron throne. Squall groaned.

"Oh, give me a break. A throne?"

It was then that Seb chose to make his presence known. He moved into the center of the room fluidly, languidly, knowing smirk firmly on his face.

"Your insolence is amusing, little one. And you may be assured, the throne was not placed there for your benefit." So saying, he eased himself into it, folding his long body into the impressive structure effortlessly.

It seemed that beauty was a common thread here because Seb possessed much of it. His golden hair lay in silky waves around his shoulders and down his arms and his eyes were so dark they could have been black. His stature was impressive, regal, assured and Squall suddenly knew why he'd wanted Seifer so badly. They shared many similarities and Seb had probably fed his own ego just by laying eyes on Seifer. His arrogance far surpassed Seifer's and the dominance rolled off him like perfume. Squall felt a little sick.

"I've had enough mind-fucking outside in the hall, thanks a bunch." Squall told him derisively. "Your whores didn't impress me and neither do you."

Kato bit his lip to stifle his chuckle. It didn't work. Seb's gaze flickered to Kato evenly.

"And you, my pet. You have forsaken me for this boy?" He laughed quietly, his voice warm and inviting.

"I'm an opportunist Seb, you know that." He shrugged.

Seb's smile vanished. "You will die this time. There is no punishment I could deliver that would help you learn your place."

Kato grinned. "S'okay. If you knew how many times I'd fucked your twins, you'd have killed me a long time ago." He winked. "So I'll try not to take it personally."

Seb's eyes flickered once, the rage appearing only briefly before it vanished behind that false veil of good humor.

"As you wish." He turned to Kiros. "I thought I'd seen the last of you, General. It was stupid indeed for you to return here."

Kiros shrugged. "Won't argue with that."

Squall moved forward aggressively. "Enough showboating, you sick fuck, you know why I'm here, let's do this."

Seb grinned. "Do you honestly believe that I fear you, little lion? I have even dismissed my guards for this meeting in the hope that there will be no bloodshed."

Squall laughed, a short biting sound. "You know better. And I know that you welcome it. But you've underestimated me, Seb. I don't care about territorial disputes or old world manners. I came to make you understood that you crossed the line when you touched what was mine."

"And it is understood, I assure you. But despite your disregard of my rules, your father respects them and it would indeed be a shame if he were to suffer for your indescretions."

The threat was there, not merely implied and certainly not imagined.

"Don't bring Laguna into this. He's done nothing to you." Squall warned him, the anger in his voice a surprise even to himself and he realized that he'd kill to keep Laguna safe, just as he'd kill for Seifer.

_Great time for a revelation, Leonhart._

"What a dilemma you face, Commander." He tilted his head in mock consideration. "You kill me, Seifer's honor will have been avenged. But then, Laguna will be the one to receive _your _just desserts. What _will _you do?" He grinned.

Squall tightened his grip on his gunblade. "I'll take my chances."

Seb shook his head slowly and Kiros moved to touch Squall's arm.

"Don't be stupid, Squall. You cut off his head and another will only sprout in its place. And Laguna will suffer for it."

Squall glared at him. "Can't you protect him?"

Kiros frowned. "I'm only one man, Squall, think before you act. Is it worth it?"

Squall hesitated only a second before he looked at Seb resignedly. "No."

Seb grinned triumphantly and slid his gaze to Kato who stood looking disinterested and confident.

"I won't kill you." He began. Seb smiled, relaxing. 

"Smart boy." He said.

Squall shook his head. "Don't look so smug. Just because I agree to let you live doesn't mean you'll be walking out of here."

Seb narrowed his eyes and Kiros groaned into his hand.

"Are you threatening me?" Seb asked, voice dangerously quiet.

Squall shook his head, eyes innocent.

"You tried to break him, you almost succeeded. You deserve to suffer a little for it."

"Why do you care so much about his pain?" Seb demanded, angry now. "He tried to kill you. Are you so forgiving, Leonhart? It would appear not."

Squall shook his head. "Seifer is mine, is one of us. I will not let his mistreatment go unanswered. You chose this when you tried to take his spirit for your own. I'm here to get it back."

Seb stood gracefully. "Well, then, Commander. If you feel ready, you may attempt to carry out your threat. I dare you."

Squall moved toward him, gunblade raised. "I hope you have a doctor around here somewhere." He said.

Seb smiled. "I do. But I'm afraid he won't try to heal you, little one."

"I won't be needing his services." Squall promised. 

Something caught his eye then and he turned, briefly, but it was the opening Seb needed. As a second man moved in behind Kato, Seb's blade cleared its sheath with barely a hiss.

"One point for me." He crowed happily as Kato was swept up in an iron grip, his bangs falling into his eyes, his eyes showing the tiniest hint of fear.

"Kiros, help him." Squall ordered as he kept his gaze trained on Seb.

"Nice trick, you bastard. Too bad it won't help you." And then he narrowed his eyes at the weapon Seb held. It was a gunblade and the cross that was etched into it made Squall's blood run cold. Seb laughed.

"If you get out of here alive, I want you to ask your lover how I came to be in possession of his weapon. Or better yet, ask Kato. He was there." He paused. "Of course, he's a little busy being asphyxiated at the moment, but perhaps later…"

Kiros had unsheathed his knives and was about to do some serious ribbon slicing when Kato slowly drew two daggers from the waistband of his pants and released his hold on his captor's arms to plunge both blades deep into the big man's stomach.

As expected, Kato was released, quite unceremoniously onto the stone floor while Seb's guard attempted to pull the knives from his body. Kiros growled low in his throat and advanced on the man practically snarling. 

One slice and then one more and the man was toppling, his head falling in quite another direction. He moved to Kato's side, where he lay near the fallen man, and wrapped an arm around him.

"You okay, Kato?" He asked urgently, eager to be at Squall's back again. Kato nodded, touching his neck gingerly.

"Yeah, I'll live. You go help Squall, I'm okay."

Kiros hesitated briefly before Kato squinted up at him and grinned. Kiros shook his head. He'd be fine. Touching the boy's arm once, Kiros leaned to wipe his blades on the dead man's pants and then turned to discover how Squall was faring.

He almost took Kiros' breath he was so magnificent. Grace and beauty and visual poetry that rivaled any rendition of Heaven. When he moved, Kiros saw Laguna. From all those years ago, he saw him and it made his heart ache a little. The feeling intensified as Squall continued the dance and he knew he'd move galaxies to keep that boy alive. For Laguna, he would give his own life, if only to secure his happiness. 

"Squall, careful." Kato called from his place on the floor.

Squall nodded without looking at him, not wanting to take his eyes from the man who circled him hungrily. Seb saw Kiros' advancing and he growled at him.

"Stay back, Kiros, I'll run him through." He warned. Squall laughed arrogantly.

"You can try." 

Seb knew his tricks weren't going to work on this boy, he simply had no fear, and so he chose a different tactic.

"Even as you seek to kill me, know that your lover once clung to me in every way imaginable." His voice was smug and his eyes pained pictures that his words could not. Squall tamped down his anger and managed a smirk.

"That might be so, but you probably need to be reminded that you took him in when he had nothing, and so I don't give you much credit for that. He was alone and probably scared, he had no choice."

Seb laughed delightedly. He seemed to really enjoy the sound of his own laughter. It merely irritated Squall.

"Seifer Almasy fears nothing, Commander. You know that as well as I do. Your lover was born to kill, born to lead, it is all he knows."

Squall angled his blade, ready to strike sideways if the man made one wrong move.

"He's not my lover, you twisted fuck and if you truly thought he was born to lead, you'd never have kept him under your thumb the way you did."

Seb considered his words and shifted his eyes briefly. When he met Squall's gaze again, he was surprised to see the amusement lurking in those icy depths.

"See something that amuses you?" He snarled, not accustomed to being the object of someone's mirth.

Squall smiled then, his beautiful, traffic stopping, breath-taking smile that actually reached his eyes.

"You're afraid of him." He said, and it wasn't a question. It was a statement. Seb was livid.

"You don't know what the fuck you're talking about. I owned him, boy. He was mine; he will always be mine. No matter where he goes, he will remember me forever, for I owned his soul. And if you could only take a moment to admit it to yourself, you'd know it for the truth."

Seb lowered his gunblade then, laughing as the triumphant gleam faded from Squall's eyes and his rage became more than apparent. 

"You know it, don't you? He's shown you his scars, all of his hidden ones. They're not pretty are they, Leonhart?" Seb taunted him; blissfully unaware that he'd just signed his own death warrant.

Squall smiled once, chillingly polite, before he spun to the right, took two steps and vaulted himself up onto the huge chair's armrest. Seb barely had time to turn his head before Squall was bringing his blade down in one quick graceful arc, cleaving him from neck to ribcage in one clean diagonal swipe.

Squall let him slide from his blade heavily, silenced forever, before he hopped down easily. Kiros was staring at him in abject horror and Kato was grinning openly.

"Squall…" Kiros began, his voice choked and hesitant.

Squall looked up sharply, the anger still hovering over his skin. "What?" He shot out, the word barely a syllable.

Kiros bowed his head. "You promised. You promised you wouldn't. You know what this means?"

Squall waited until Kiros raised his eyes to his once more.

"Yeah. I lied."

*****

Seifer stood at the window, watching dusk fall silently, as it always did in Esthar, with no warning whatsoever. His anxiety was growing in leaps and bounds and he was two seconds away from grabbing a weapon, any weapon and heading out to search for Squall and Kiros. How dare they take off and keep him in the dark, not tell him anything.

_Goddammit!_

"Seifer?" Laguna called from the sitting room. Seifer straightened and let the curtain fall back into place as he turned to face Laguna.

"Yeah?" He called, his voice sounding forced even to his own ears. Laguna, Hyne bless him, would notice nothing amiss and would probably enter the room grinning and gnawing on something sweet.

"Just checking. Did I already ask you where Squall and Kiros went?" He asked around a mouthful of chocolate bar. Seifer smiled faintly, amused in spite of his inner conflict. 

"Yeah, Laguna, you did. I have no idea where they went. I guess that they'll…"

His sentence trailed off as Kiros entered the room looking tired and dirty, but not really any worse for the wear. He glanced from Seifer to Laguna and then back to Seifer again. 

"Sorry we stayed away so long. We had…business."

Laguna moved to rest his elbow on Seifer's shoulder, a stretch, even for him, but he grinned happily anyway when Seifer looked down on him kindly.

"So where were you?" He asked, biting into the apple that he held in his other hand.

Kiros watched him in confusion. "Chocolate and Fruit, Laguna?"

Laguna nodded, "Oh, yeah. Discovered it purely by chance. Forgot I was already eating the chocolate when I saw the apples sitting in a basket on the table. Pretty damn good together, actually."

Kato entered the room on the wings of his explanation and Seifer felt his chest hollow out. _Oh, fuck…_

He was hit with a barrage of memories in that very moment and none of them were chaste. From the tips of Kato's burnished bangs to the sun-darkened expanse of skin that he revealed so naturally, Seifer could feel him, almost taste him. The images were frightening and unwelcome and still strangely comforting in their familiarity. How did he…?

Squall rounded the corner and paused at Kato's side, the two of them so dangerously beautiful that Seifer felt his breath catch. Squall looked briefly at Kato, who promptly blew him a kiss, directly to Seifer where his gaze stopped. He hadn't yet glanced at Laguna; his desires betrayed him in that one instant. His control had apparently shrugged and handed the reins over to his heart, which was still full with the triumph of his victory.

He moved directly to Seifer and stopped when he stood nose to nose with him. Seifer's eyelids fluttered once, awash with relief, apprehension and overwhelming lust all at the same time. He tried for words; they came out a husky whisper.

"Where were you all day?" Quiet, halting.

Squall eased a strap over his shoulder and pressed the object against Seifer's chest, never taking his eyes from Seifer's face.

"I found something that belongs to you." He told him quietly and Seifer glanced down, his eyes widening in shock. Dragging his gaze back to Squall's he swallowed around the lump in his throat.

"My gunblade?" He whispered incredulously and Squall shook his head as he gripped the back of Seifer's neck and pulled down into a searing kiss. Not caring that he had three witnesses to his unspoken admission, Squall sucked on Seifer's lips, stroked his tongue, helped himself to Seifer's emotions, so neatly laid out for his pleasure and kissed him like he'd always dreamed he would. Deep, possessive, unrelenting and unchallenged.

When he pulled back, the look in Seifer's eyes made him eager to slay some more dragons, but he settled instead for a soul-searching look and an easy smile.

"No…that."

***

Author's note: The name _Seb_ is Egyptian in origin and means God of the Earth, _Sanura's _name is also Egyptian and means Kitten. _Vema _is Indian (not Native-American) and means Goddess of Sex. Notice that I left the twins alive *devious grin* . Hope you're still with me! The characters belong to Square, the title belongs to Muse…but the story is all mine.

tbc


	12. Chapter Twelve

**_Unstoppable_**

_If we had this night together, we'd be unstoppable…_

When Squall pulled away, even going so far as to swipe at his mouth with one knuckle, Seifer staggered back slightly, his vision still hazy. Realizing how ridiculous he would look if he shook his head, he settled for blinking once or twice and regarded Squall through narrowed emerald eyes.

"No way does that get you off the hook for scaring the hell out of us today." He told him in the old, biting voice that Squall loved so much.

Squall shrugged and fought the urge to touch him again. He'd made enough of a spectacle of himself already; one that he was positive would not die a quiet death within these walls. 

"Hey, Seif," Kato cajoled, "Give the kid a break, he just fought hell and all to avenge your honor." The sarcasm was thick and Seifer would have grinned if it weren't so damned embarrassing.

Squall turned slowly to regard Kato. "Please. Don't help."

Kato winked and crossed his arms over his chest causing the leather straps encircling his biceps to tighten tantalizingly. He shrugged and turned his attention to Laguna.

"Well hello, Mr. President." He drawled appreciatively.

Kiros scowled, his muscles tensing involuntarily.

"Kato," he began, voice weary, "Not tonight."

Kato moved to flop down into an empty chair. "Big fun you lot are tonight." He observed dryly.

Seifer turned to Squall reluctantly and asked in a low voice, "Where did you find him?" He nodded toward Kato.

Squall sighed and resisted the urge to look in the boy's direction.

"He was guarding Seb's…" Squall's explanation was still in the process of being vocalized when Laguna made a noise that sounded as if it could have come from a ten year old girl.

"Seb?!" He squeaked, pinning Kiros with an accusatory glare. "Did he…? I know he just didn't say…Please tell me I'm hallucinating! You two _did not_ visit Seb today!"

Kato shrugged. "Well, I wouldn't exactly call it a visit."

Laguna began to pace, stopping every so often to glare at Kiros or Squall or to advance threateningly in their direction only to pause and run a hand through his hair in frustration.

"I can't believe…Kiros, I thought you knew better…and Squall! Are you out of your fucking minds?!"

Squall winced, afraid that he was about to witness something that might scar him emotionally. Laguna's hair was sticking up and tangled, his eyes were wide and incredulous and he was looking at Squall like he wanted to ground him for life.

"I don't think I've ever heard you say 'fuck' before, Laguna." Squall observed calmly. Kiros covered his face and groaned. Squall guessed that little comment was very ill timed.

"Well, then I have a lot of time to make up for, wouldn't you say?" Laguna's voice was climbing the scales with every sentence and Kato covered his ears.

"Jeez, pops, easy on the ears, man!" And then he glanced at Kiros. "I hope he doesn't have any dogs around here."

Laguna ignored Kato and turned his glare on Kiros.

"All you had to do was watch him, keep him out of trouble and you couldn't even do that! Are you punshing me for something, Kiros? Some imagined slight I've dealt you…what? You let my only son go into that monster's lair and now you stand here and try to tell me that I shouldn't be upset? Well? Answer me!"

Kiros shook his head. "I never said you shouldn't be…" He began, but Laguna waved his words away.

"Oh, that's enough. I don't want to hear anymore out of you." He turned to Squall then and pointed his finger at him.

"What did you accomplish by risking yourself like that? Seifer is here, he's safe now; it was stupid and arrogant of you to go there. You did it to feed your own ego and that's the only reason. It's irresponsible is what it is!"

Squall looked at the floor, biting his lip to keep his mouth shut. _I will be quiet; I will be quiet…_

"So what do you have to say for yourself? Huh? I'm waiting." Laguna rested his hands on his hips and tapped his foot impatiently while Squall searched his mind for the right answer.

"Well, I just…"

Laguna gestured impatiently with his arms. "Oh, just never mind. I can't even look at you two right now."

Kiros moved toward Laguna, hand outstretched, prepared to subjugate himself if necessary. Laguna had a tendency to pout like a pampered housewife when he was in a snit.

"No, Kiros! Just stay in here with them and see if you can't keep them from going out and hunting up a sorceress tonight. I need a drink."

And he turned his back, flicking a long tendril of hair off his face as he flounced toward the staircase, back rigid with indignation. He made it nearly ten feet before catching the toe of his boot on the rug and tripping himself up, quite ruining the magnificent display of self-righteous temper he'd worked himself into.

He looked at Kiros over his shoulder as he stomped up the steps and tossed out, "And move that goddamned rug." And then he disappeared around the second level hallway.

Kiros shook his head and lowered himself into a chair. "I do not need this shit tonight." He muttered.

Kato grinned at him, arranging his long body so that he curled around the chair like an exotic cat. "I know what you need." He grinned boyishly, his small pink tongue darting out to caress the corner of his mouth, the gesture at odds with the impishness of his smile. 

Seifer offered Kato a disbelieving look. "You never change, do you, Kato?" 

Kato's smile vanished, sliding away like an illusion, and he locked eyes with Seifer. Blue to Green. 

"You do." He said softly and Squall felt the words as though they'd been meant for him.

He moved in Kato's direction, gloved hand clenching involuntarily and Seifer stopped him with a hand on his elbow.

"Leave him." He said gruffly. 

Squall turned his steely eyes on Seifer's and he shook his head finally.

"I'll leave you to him, then. Better get some rest, we leave at first light."

Throwing one last heated glare at Seifer, he stalked off toward his room, back straight and cloaked in his icy mantle. He might feel betrayed, but he'd see hell freeze before he'd let Seifer know it.

Kiros bowed his head in his hands and gave a soul-deep sigh. He glanced up after a moment and leveled his gaze on Seifer.

"Two dramatic exits in one night…don't think I can stomach any more. I suppose we can let them know which one is taking home the best supporting actress award tomorrow. We're leaving early, boys. Get some sleep."

With that, Kiros rose slowly, as though he were pained, and made his way toward the back of the palace, where his rooms were located.

As the sharp click of his boots faded from the room, he called out behind him, "Night, boys."

Kato watched him exit, hips twitching in an undeniably mouth-watering manner and grinned at Seifer. 

"Night? It's early yet…"

***

Seifer stood in the same spot he'd been in since they'd all entered the room. Kato remained sprawled in his chair, head cocked, little smile on his lips. Seifer wanted to choke him.

"Why'd you come here?" He asked quietly. 

Kato stretched one leg out to rest over the arm of the chair, where he let it dangle lazily. He shrugged.

"Seemed like a good idea at the time." 

Seifer leaned against the wall and observed the boy carefully.

"Don't even think about fucking this up for me." He warned ominously.

Kato's eyes widened and he held up his hands to show his innocence.

"Hey, Seif, I'm just tryin' to stay alive okay? I don't want your boyfriend."

Seifer's eyes narrowed and he took a step in Kato's direction.

"I wasn't talking about Squall."

Kato grinned then, slow and wicked and he rose gracefully from his seat to prowl over to Seifer, stopping inches from him.

"You think I still have designs on your manly body, Seif?" His voice was light and teasing, but his eyes burned blue fire. Seifer swallowed, glad that Squall had left the room.

"Don't you?" He returned.

Kato bit his lip and traced the line of Seifer's collarbone with the tip of one finger. 

"Are you telling me that if I offered myself, you wouldn't be tempted?" He raised his eyes slowly to meet Seifer's, confident that he would not be refused.

Seifer grinned, unable to help himself. "Tempted, maybe. But I'm not so desperate anymore, Kato. I can tell you no and mean it."

Kato narrowed his eyes and stood on tiptoes to touch his nose to Seifer's. His mouth hovered a fraction of an inch from Seifer's and he licked his lips slowly, letting his breath brush over Seifer.

"You want me still. Even now, after all that's happened, you want me. I'll bet you can even remember how I taste. Deny it.

Seifer tipped Kato's chin up with one finger and tilted his head slightly, admiring the sharp line of the boy's jaw.

"I'll admit that you awaken a lot of old feelings in me, Kato. You're as beautiful as you've always been and yes I _can_ remember how good you tasted, even after all this time." 

Kato smirked, his lips curving knowingly, sweetly.

"But know this," Seifer continued, "As pretty as you are, I won't risk him for you. No matter what you offer me, it can never be enough."

Kato closed the distance between them and joined their lips softly, his eyes fluttering closed as he pressed against the solid wall of Seifer's chest. He hummed once, low and purring as he curved a hand around the back of Seifer's neck. Lips still pressed to Seifer's, he murmured, "You taste the same, love, like rain and sorrow and darkness. You still want me, I can feel it."

Seifer smiled against Kato's lips, tempted by his kiss, but his heart unmoved. He pulled back and disentangled Kato from his arms, setting him back several inches.

"You can't be enough, Kato. Too much has changed. You gave me what I needed when I needed it the most, and I'm grateful for that. But things are different now, I'm different now, and I won't risk Squall Leonhart a second time."

Kato's lips spread into a slow smile and he leaned back against the arm of the sofa, arms crossed over his chest.

"You love him." He said, grinning like an idiot.

Seifer flushed slightly but met his gaze all the same. "I love him."

Kato tipped backward, falling gracefully onto his back on the sofa where he curled onto his side and stretched.

"It's about fucking time." He chuckled.

Seifer narrowed his eyes. "What do you mean by that?"

Kato snagged an orange from the coffee table and began peeling it lazily as he regarded Seifer with no small amount of amusement.

"Every time we fucked, it was his name that you called. When you slept, it was him that you dreamed about. It's always been him, and I've always known it."

Seifer's eyes shuttered briefly. "Kato, I'm…" 

Kato cut him off, waving him off with a small amused noise.

"Don't apologize. It's not like I was in love with you or something." He rolled his eyes. Seifer laughed.

Kato chased a trickle of juice down the side of his wrist with his tongue and he flashed Seifer his smile, all blue eyes and pretty, even teeth.

"You're awake now, Seifer. He's here. You can tell him all the things you said to me, wishing I was him."

Seifer paused, the words bringing unintended guilt. "I didn't mean to use you, Kato."

Kato raised an eyebrow. "Use me?" He scoffed. "You thought _you _were using _me_?" He laughed then, the girlish giggle that Seifer remembered so well.

"I guess I'm even better than I thought." He winked at Seifer and rolled to his back once more. "Better go soothe his ruffled feathers, knight of mine, before I beat you to it."

Seifer grinned, surprised to realize that he was happy to see his ex-lover. No matter what he stood for.

***

Squall rounded the corner quickly on his way to the bathroom, where he hoped extra towels would be kept, and just barely managed to avoid a head-on collision with Laguna.

He stepped back awkwardly, eyes lowering automatically, and mumbled an apology that Laguna didn't quite hear, as he was busy lowering his own eyes and mumbling his own apology.

Squall looked up then and found himself meeting his father's stare, noticing for the first time how similar his eyes looked to Laguna's. Different color, same shape. 

"Laguna…" He muttered

"Squall…" Laguna began. They smiled uneasily at their exchange and Squall suddenly wished he'd stayed in his room.

"I…uh…needed some towels." He offered in the way of an explanation as to why he was wandering around the halls.

"You should have called down to housekeeping, they would have brought some up for you."

Squall shook his head and gestured vaguely. "It's not a big deal…"

Laguna stepped forward, his eyes suddenly intent. 

"Squall…"

The soft, insistent tone of his father's voice brought his eyes up sharply.

"What?"

"I'm sorry I lost my temper earlier. I didn't mean to…well…I didn't mean to. You just scared me and I'm afraid I didn't deal with it very well."

He looked sheepish, an expression he seemed to wear more than any other. Squall began to feel the tiniest bit sorry for him.

"It's all right. I suppose we should have told you." He relented. 

Laguna stepped closer to him then, the look of happiness on his face as apparent to Squall as any emotion could ever be. He lay a hand on Squall's shoulder and squeezed slightly. "I won't let anything happen to you. You're my son, and I will protect you at any cost."

Squall didn't push his hand away, didn't make his escape even though he wanted to. He simply stood, and allowed Laguna this small intimacy. He seemed to need it.

"I don't need protecting, Laguna. You know that well enough." His voice was gentle enough to take the sting from his words and Laguna shook his head.

"By the time we feel the repercussions from what you've done today, we're going to need each other more than you know." Laguna told him morosely.

Squall eyed him strangely when Laguna dropped his hand and stepped back. 

"I never even told you what happened there today." He reminded his father.

Laguna shook his head sadly. "You don't have to. I knew it all when you raised your eyes to mine."

Squall felt the breath rush out of him in one quick pull and he blinked once or twice.

"I had no choice." He told him solemnly, refusing to feign regret even for Laguna.

"And neither will we all, son. Neither will we all."

***

He was lying on Squall's bed when he finally emerged from the shower, steam rolling out behind him, hazy and thick as he rubbed at his hair with a towel. He paused when he reached the foot of the bed, hating the way the corner of his mouth turned up, hating himself for being unable to quell the surge of emotion inside of him. 

Seifer stretched out, long and golden and sleeping before him and Squall didn't want to wake him. Although he knew that Seifer wanted to be awakened or he would never have fallen asleep on Squall's bed. He wanted a confrontation, wanted to fight about earlier, but had instead fallen asleep and that was what brought the small smile to Squall's face. He'd been given more evidence of Seifer's vulnerability over the past two days than he had during their entire childhood together. Squall was still a bit unsure how he felt about it, discovering the invincible really wasn't, but it didn't seem to matter as he watched Seifer in repose, clad only in the pants he'd worn to bed the previous night.

Turning away, he moved to the bureau and withdrew a pair of drawstring pants. Hyne knew he'd rather just crawl into bed naked, but apparently that wasn't an option at the moment. Conveniently for him, Laguna kept the necessities in each guestroom. Squall imagined that he needed to be prepared for every contingency. Might explain why he was such a fucking packrat. 

Seifer stirred, limbs sliding gracefully across the coverlet as he moved and Squall watched his eyes open as if he'd never been asleep at all. They didn't flutter open, nor did he struggle with the reality of consciousness, he simply opened his eyes and Squall immediately felt the weight of his gaze.

"Didn't mean to wake you." He said with a small smile and Seifer frowned as he pulled himself up into a sitting position.

"Wasn't asleep." He mumbled sleepily, rubbing at his right eye with one fist and stretching his long legs out before him.

Squall looped his towel over his neck and lifted his arms over his head to stretch his muscles.

"Whatever…" He muttered.

Seifer didn't reply, mostly because Squall's 'whatevers' had ceased requiring responses a long time ago, but he arched one perfect, golden brow and watched Squall as he worked his muscles, stretching and twisting, sometimes wincing when he turned too sharply. 

Seifer watched him moving, not quite gracefully, but slow and deliberate and Seifer was getting perilously close to offering him a massage. He couldn't imagine how Squall would react to such an offer, but he imagined that there would be a fair amount of stammering and excuse making.

"Squall." A low utterance, but it got his attention. He settled his gaze on Seifer, his body going still and his eyes narrowing somewhat.

"What." Low and flat, typical of him.

Seifer moved to the edge of the bed, long legs reaching toward the floor although he made no move to stand. He rubbed a hand over his face once before he turned to face Squall, his green eyes intent, focused.

"I need to talk to you, to tell you…"

Squall shook his head and turned his back abruptly, not wanting to be drawn into a conversation he wasn't quite sure how to have.

"You don't have to tell me anything. It's over now, and it doesn't matter anymore."

Seifer looked away, exasperation setting in rapidly.

"It still matters, Squall. Everything that I've been through these past nine months will matter for the rest of my life! How can you pretend that this doesn't matter? You know what I've done, you know what's been done to me so don't pretend that it won't always be hanging over us."

Squall shook his head again, refusing to look at him. "We've had our revenge, it's over. There's no need to bring it all back now."

Seifer stared at his back in disbelief, knowing that this wasn't going to be easy by the way he'd squared his shoulders. Hyne, but he was stubborn and annoying.

Seifer stood then, moving to stand directly behind Squall, not touching him, but knowing that Squall was staring hard at his shadow.

"I'll give you one very good reason why it has to be brought back now and that reason is lying on your father's couch, sucking juice from an orange and contemplating whose bed he'll be crawling into before the morning."

That seemed to do it. Squall spun around to face him, an almost violent anger in his eyes as he glared at Seifer.

"I'm surprised you didn't invite him into yours." As soon as the words had crossed his lips, he wanted nothing more than to call them back and forget he'd ever thought them at all.

Seifer winced as though Squall had slapped him and he took a step back.

"Is that what you think of me? You think I'm going to pick up where we left off?"

Squall turned his head aside, feeling a little ashamed of himself, but still so spitting mad that he felt justified. Seifer went on in a low, hurt voice.

"If that's how you feel, I wonder why you brought him here at all. You could have left him there, hell, you could have killed him too if you'd wanted. Maybe you wanted to test me, or maybe you just liked the way he looked."

Squall looked up then, derision evident in his sneer.

"Don't try to trap me with that one, Almasy. I wouldn't fuck that little slut with your dick, let alone mine, so you don't have to worry on that score. And, yeah, maybe I wanted to see how you'd react to seeing his face after all this time, see if you still wanted him."

Seifer looked at Squall sadly, deeply hurt that Squall would think so ill of him.

"If I wanted Kato, Squall, I'd have taken him with me when I left and no amount of bullying from Seb would have stood in my way."

Squall sighed, sorry he'd mentioned Kato at all. He was beginning to sound like a scorned lover. It was embarrassing, to say the least.

"This is stupid. We sound like a couple of…" The words just wouldn't come and no matter how he cast about for them, they continued to elude him.

Seifer grabbed him by the arm and pulled him against his chest with one fierce tug. His grip was painful and his eyes were desperate and Squall felt himself sinking fast.

"A couple of what, Squall? You can't even say it! You just kissed me in front of your FATHER and still you can't admit to yourself just what it is you want from me!" 

Squall tried to pry himself loose from Seifer's grip, his cheeks burning and his heart pounding. Seifer wasn't done.

"You came looking for me, you asked me to come home with you, you killed for me today, and not for my life, either. For my honor! You come back here with blood on your hands and death in your eyes and still you won't say it. You want me, Squall Leonhart, you want me so bad that you can taste me on the back of your tongue and goddammit, here I am! Wanting you back, needing you in ways you cannot even imagine, lusting for you now like I've done for as long as I can remember and still you want to deny me. What the hell do you think is between us? You think we're comrades? Fellow warriors? Brothers in arms? Yes, we are, all of those things but beneath it all is your absolute compulsion to get on your back, wrap your legs around me and reduce me to nothing."

Seifer's nose was inches from Squall's and he was shaking him harder than he realized. Squall didn't speak, didn't deny, didn't shake his head, nothing. But he was aware that Seifer was driving them both back toward the bed and he was powerless to stop it.

"Tell me you don't want me, Squall. Tell me right now that you've dreamed of anything besides me since Time Compression and I'll go back to my room right now. We'll go back to Garden, I'll become SeeD and we'll all settle into life like the good little girls and boys we're supposed to be. But if you're honest enough to tell me the truth, then I'll stay, I'll be yours and I'll never leave you again. You want me, Squall, I know you do. And I know because I feel it too. I always have."

He took a deep breath then, his eyes glowing jade, the passion all but tangible, flowing from his skin in big, powerful waves. He practically resonated. Squall trembled slightly, and forced himself to look up, up into those terrible, beautiful eyes.

"You didn't let me finish." He began quietly. "You never let me finish. I don't need to hear it because it doesn't matter to me what you've done. I know you've killed, and I know you feel that you've done the unspeakable, but Seifer, so have we all. None of us are angels; we're all beyond redemption, every last one of us. So I don't want to know, I don't need to know. You're here and you're alive and it's all I care about. So, truth or not, you _will_ stay, you _are_ mine and you will _never_ leave me again."

His lashes fluttered once as he called upon all his strength to say what he needed to say, what he'd sworn never to say, what he _had_ to say before he drove himself mad with want. Seifer had gone as still as stone and was blinking in a way that Squall could almost call cute, but would never dare. He placed his hands flat on Seifer's chest; his arms still captured in Seifer's grip like he'd never let him go, and licked his lips once to bolster his courage.

"I want you. I need you. I always have and I always will and if you run from me again, I'll follow you again. I haven't resisted you out of fear of what other people would think of me, I've fought it because I knew, deep inside, how important you were to me, and it is terrifying. So, think what you want, but I do feel fear and indecision and still I'm here, doing what I'm driven to do. And I have nowhere else to go. You're everywhere I turn and everything I need."

Seifer blinked again, once, twice, his brows drawn together in consternation and his head angled slightly. He opened his mouth to speak, but closed it again.

"Is that what you wanted to hear?" Squall asked, a slight smile on his lips.

Seifer only gripped him tighter and leaned in closer.

"Would you say it again?" He whispered against Squall's forehead.

Squall shook his head, the love he felt eclipsed only by the enormous sense of relief that washed over him like a baptism.

"I'll go you one better." He told him as he rose on tiptoe to brush his mouth against Seifer's. "I'll show you."

***

Kato's eyelashes fluttered as he tried to orient himself to his surroundings. He was sprawled on his back, one arm dangling toward the floor. He yawned, stretched and discovered that his hair was stiff and that there was something cold and sticky on his chest.

The phone shrilled on the table next to the sofa and he sat up quickly, recognizing the ringing as the noise that had obliterated his beauty sleep. His half-eaten orange rolled onto the floor when he rose and he shook his head, chuckling at himself.

Leaning over the table, he picked up the receiver, wondering absently where the hell the servants were.

"'lo?" 

There was pause, and he could hear the person on the other end exhale. Kato grinned.

"Look, pal. The obscene caller bit is lost on me, it sorta gets me hot."

No hang up, as he'd expected, but a man's voice answered him instead.

"Um…sorry I'm calling so late, but…could you tell me if…I mean, have you seen Squall…Can I speak to Squall Leonhart, please? If he's anywhere around, I mean." A sigh, as if the voice on the other end was aware that he was babbling. Kato felt a little sorry for the guy. He had a sweet voice, not too low, nor too high. Perfectly modulated with an endearing lilt that Kato couldn't quite place. He didn't, however, have any trouble recognizing the hesitation and longing in the voice. Squall Leonhart had himself a boyfriend back home; Kato was willing to lay odds on it. 

Unable to resist, his lips quirked up in a smirk very much like the one Seifer Almasy wore from day to day, Kato leaned a hip against the table and sighed regretfully into the phone.

"Sorry, sugar, but the Commander flounced out of here over an hour ago. I would imagine that he's in his suite scratching and clawing at his Knight right about now." And then, in a low, conspiratorial voice, he added, "You know how they are."

Instead of anger, which was what Kato was counting on, he got a long silence underlying with a sort of pained disbelief. 

"Oh, umm, okay…I…well…I suppose I'll talk to him later, then." The voice got smaller and more distant with each word he spoke. Kato felt like a real ass. This kid, whoever he was, was head over heels for Squall and Kato felt as though he'd just kicked a puppy. Instantly repentant, Kato frowned at having had his sport compromised and he frowned.

"Hey, he's probably still awake, I'll go get him for ya." He offered and was surprised to hear the vehement refusal coming from the other end of the phone.

"Nuh, uh, no. Don't do that. I'll just…I can always…it's not important."

Kato hurried to reassure him, "Hey, he's coming home…"

_Click._

Kato sighed and looked down at the receiver as he placed it back in its cradle.

"Tomorrow…"

***

Seifer crushed Squall against his body, his arms like vises. Years of pent-up frustration flowed out of him through the kiss they shared and it was almost intoxicating. Seifer continued to back them toward the bed until the backs of his knees hit the edge of it and down he went, falling onto his back and pulling Squall atop him.

His chest rose and fell rapidly with the effort to control the lust that rode him mercilessly and he tightened his arms around Squall while one hand slid upward to tangle into his unruly hair.

Squall moaned mindlessly against Seifer's mouth, practically drunk with the feel of Seifer under him, his thigh rising between Squall's to rub against him sinuously. Squall followed suit, grinding against Seifer's leg, seeking, wanting. His hands slid up Seifer's sides and he curled them over Seifer's shoulders as he gave himself up to the kiss. It was unlike anything Squall had ever experienced before in his life. It was hot, possessive and yet strangely reverent. He felt as though he were drowning in it.

Seifer's hands roamed over his back, as though he couldn't touch him fast enough to satisfy his need and Squall felt his urgency, felt it roll over him and he responded the only way he could. With his hands, his lips, his heart…he hoped it was enough, for soon he would lose the ability to reason and Seifer would have to lead him where he would.

He pulled away slightly, and Seifer's hands stilled, his green eyes unfocused and blurred, his lips full and red, his breathing ragged. Squall doubted he'd ever before witnessed anything quite so breathtaking in all his life. 

Seifer didn't speak, didn't know if he could and he waited patiently. For what, he didn't know but he was positive Squall would let him know what he wanted. After several seconds of electric silence, Squall licked his lips, his gaze caressing Seifer's face, and lowered his mouth to Seifer's once more. Seifer hummed sweetly against his lips as his arms went around him again and he felt Squall's desire pressing so insistently against his thigh. He nipped at Squall's lips, tasting them delicately, tracing the shape of his bottom lip before his tongue swept inside, and he took possession again.

Squall let him deepen the kiss and he tilted his head obligingly, inviting him in, embracing him fully, beyond the ability to question his own actions. This was where they'd been heading since their lives had joined so irrevocably as children. This one moment was the culmination of years' worth of need and denial. It wasn't something Squall felt he could fight against any longer and so he let it go eagerly with little regret. How could he feel regret when surrender was so very sweet?

Seifer broke the kiss, gasping for air, searching for words and Squall's mouth went immediately to Seifer's neck where he tasted the soft skin beneath his ear. Seifer moaned as Squall's tongue traced slow, lazy patterns down the length of his neck and he eased his other leg across Seifer's, straddling him, the pants he wore doing little to conceal his straining erection. 

Seifer lay on his back, staring at the ceiling but seeing nothing as he let Squall feast on him, his mouth trailing soft, hesitant kisses down his neck, over his collarbone, over his shoulder until the teasing became unbearable.

As if sensing Seifer's tenuous grip on his self-control slipping inch by agonizing inch, Squall arched his back and drew his knees up along Seifer's sides and rubbing suggestively against the full length of Seifer's erection. Squall flickered his tongue over Seifer's shoulder lightly before sinking his teeth into it playfully.

"Squall…if you keep that up, I won't be able to stop." He warned gruffly.

Seifer's voice whispered over Squall almost physically, sounding as though he were near death. It excited him, frightened him. Seifer was letting him know that he could either leave now, or they could continue. If he touched him even one more time, there would be no going back. Ever. Squall opened his eyes and sat up, his fingertips trailing lightly over Seifer's chest. He slid against him teasingly and was rewarded with Seifer's agonized groan and the almost imperceptible twitch of Seifer's erection beneath his own. Squall grinned slowly, a siren's smile, and rolled his hips again. Seifer's eyes narrowed and his chest rose and fell shallowly.

"I don't want you to stop." He told him huskily and Seifer's eyes slid closed with relief, as though he'd just been handed the keys to Heaven. And as far as he could see, that's exactly what he'd been given.

Squall stretched out then, gracefully extending his body along Seifer's, his thigh stroking over Seifer's hip as he went. Seifer moaned in protestation, wanting him back in his lap, but Squall lay one finger against his lips and dropped one tiny kiss against his chest.

"Shhh. I'm not going anywhere." He promised. And Seifer raised his head to watch him, his lips parted, panting slightly and what a sight it was. Squall moved over Seifer's body, inching down slowly, dropping sweet kisses in his wake. Seifer rose on his elbows to improve his line of vision and his gaze fell on Squall as he began to work the knot that held Seifer's pants over his hips. His fingers worked deftly, a direct contradiction to the rapid beating of his heart and when he finally freed the ties, he closed his eyes and rested his cheek against Seifer's still-captive erection. Seifer felt the breath catch in his chest and he found that he couldn't speak, couldn't form words.

He wanted to ask Squall what he was doing, wanted to hear the words from his lips but he couldn't bring himself to speak and break the spell. 

Squall hooked his fingers in the waist of the pants and began to tug, grinning when Seifer lifted his hips obligingly.

When he'd tossed the pants aside, he moved over him, braced on his hands and felt the heat of Seifer's cock rubbing against his belly as he leaned to place one parting kiss in the middle of Seifer's chest. When he slid down again, rubbing the underside of Seifer's erection, he closed his eyes at the minuscule amount of wetness left behind on his own chest. Seifer was beyond ready and Squall knew exactly what he wanted.

Bending his head to Seifer, pausing only inches away from Seifer's need, he closed his eyes and savored the moment. Seifer made a small noise that sounded suspiciously like a sob and he whispered brokenly, "Please."

Squall wrapped his fingers around the base of Seifer's cock and he guided it masterfully to his lips. He couldn't have said what drove him on, or how he knew exactly what Seifer would like, but somehow he did. And it was unspeakably good.

He didn't tease the head with his tongue, didn't stroke it lightly to tease his lover, but took him completely into his mouth, wrapping his lips around the tantalizing width and heat of him and pulled him in slowly.

Seifer arched his back, his hips snapping up of their own accord and Squall lay one restraining hand on Seifer's hip to steady him. He knew this wasn't going to last nearly long enough as he wanted it to and he wouldn't allow Seifer to speed it along.

"Gods, Squall…" He ground out, the husky sound of his voice calling to something primitive inside of Squall and he moaned, long and needing, while Seifer slid dangerously low in his throat.

Squall slid his hand up Seifer's hip and along his belly, his hand coming away slick with Seifer's sweat. Squall could feel him pulsing against his tongue and into his throat and he stroked him slowly with his tongue. 

Seifer began sucking air into his lungs like he'd never breathe again and his head rolled back and forth against the bed feverishly. He was getting close, Squall could feel it, and he was ready.

He moved his hand to push Seifer's balls closer against his cock and the small movement brought him into contact with the back of Squall's throat. Squall tightened his lips on him and his tongue caressed him like velvet. It was enough.

Seifer cried out hoarsely, Squall's name tripping easily off his lips as he came in a rush of sensations, too many to actually name as they made themselves known in the heated flood of his release.

Unprepared for the amount of semen that filled his throat, Squall swallowed rapidly, choking once only to swallow deeper when he caught his breath. Seifer was whimpering still, even as his involuntary thrusts began to taper off and Squall raised his head then to look into his eyes. Seifer sat up suddenly, grabbing Squall and pulling him down upon him again. His entrancing green eyes held him motionless as he studied Squall's face, knowing that he would remember the way he looked at that very moment for the rest of his life.

His eyes had darkened to a blue the color of suede, his lips were swollen and pink and one drop of Seifer's come clung to the corner of his mouth, the evidence of his sin. Seifer brushed his thumb over it, gathering it easily, and running it along the seam of Squall's lips. His tongue darted out to retrieve it, lapping it up like so much cream and Seifer could almost hear him purr. Squall closed his eyes as he sucked deeply on Seifer's thumb, removing all traces of the musky, bitter flavor.

Seifer felt his cock stir to life again, his ardor somewhat cooled, but nowhere near to being dissipated. 

Squall smiled seductively before lowering his mouth to Seifer's, his tongue invading sweetly, slowly, so that Seifer might discover the joy of tasting his own essence on Squall's tongue. 

He moaned again, the sound becoming something of a drug to Squall. Something he wanted to hear when he awoke every morning and when he fell asleep every night.

Seifer let him rest against him briefly, arms going around him contentedly before he moved suddenly, rolling Squall beneath him. Surprise registered briefly in those bluish depths, but soon gave way to realization and finally to hunger. Seifer swallowed once as he worked to divest Squall of his pants and cast them aside without a glance.

"Squall. I don't have…anything…with me here. If I take you, it's going to hurt."

Squall met his gaze and smiled, touched that Seifer would think of his comfort when they were both so hard and ready.

"It's all right, Seifer. I'll be okay." He assured him and Seifer shook his head.

"You don't understand, Squall, it's really going to hurt and I don't want to hurt you. I'll wait if you want to, I won't mind."

He sounded so sincere that Squall didn't doubt him and he couldn't believe the extent of Seifer's concern when he himself was perilously close to begging. He reached down, trailing one finger along the side of Seifer's erection.

"It'll be okay." He murmured and Seifer shook his head, desire warring with the need to be practical.

Squall ran his hands up Seifer's tightly muscled back and he stretched sinuously, arching his back temptingly.

"Please, Seifer. I want it, I want you. Don't make me beg."

Seifer's eyes closed for a moment and then he nodded tightly, his fingers resting against Squall's lips, seeking entrance. Squall obeyed, sucking two of Seifer's fingers into his mouth and tonguing them thoroughly. Seifer couldn't suppress the groan that escaped his lips and he spread Squall's thighs with one hand as he withdrew the other from Squall's mouth. 

Covering Squall's body with his own, he moved his hands between Squall's thighs, brushing his erection as he sought his tight entrance. Squall closed his eyes, his heart beating so hard he felt sure that Seifer could hear it and he tensed automatically when he felt Seifer's finger pressing bluntly against him.

"Seifer…" A whispered plea. Seifer rubbed his cheek against Squall's, savoring the little tremble that shook his body.

"Easy, baby. Just relax, I'll be careful." He promised. 

Squall wrapped one hand around Seifer's forearm and tangled the other in his golden hair as he breathed deeply, the anticipation almost overwhelming.

He trembled uncontrollably when Seifer pushed into him, invading him, stretching him, not from pain but from something else. Something unnamable.

"Kiss me." Seifer whispered and oh, he did. Captured his lips quickly, completely, thoroughly and Seifer moaned against his lips just from the taste of him. It was something he'd never tire of.

Seifer moved his finger slowly, in and out, just to test him and Squall writhed beneath him, searching for that elusive something that the touch of Seifer's body seemed to promise him.

Seifer added another finger within the tight passage of his body and Squall arched his hips completely off the bed for he was twisting his fingers, curving them against the natural shape of him and Squall cried out. Loudly. His voice husky and wanton and altogether lust-inducing and Seifer closed his eyes against it in an attempt to keep his wits about him. Squall, on the other hand, was past caring and didn't give a damn if he woke half the town with his moaning and pleading. Just as long as Seifer didn't stop.

Seifer moved over Squall then, unable to stand the feel of him anymore, needing to be inside him so badly that he shook with it.

"Wait." Squall stilled him as he was about to guide his erection forward and Seifer looked up, startled, so afraid he'd changed his mind.

Squall slid out of his arms and inched down the length of the bed on his back until he was faced with Seifer's cock. He wasted no time in steadying it with his hand and it jumped involuntarily. Squall smiled once and guided it into his mouth, sucking deeply, licking, tasting and when he withdrew, it was slick and gleaming. And Squall was ready.

Seifer hauled him back up the length of the bed and settled over him heavily, the lust unbearable. Squall felt Seifer pressing into him and he raised his hips instinctively. Seifer slid his palms under Squall's ass and he lifted him up, angling him slightly. 

Squall closed his eyes against the sharp pain that enveloped him, but it paled against the knowledge that Seifer was claiming him finally. Squall watched in fascination as Seifer rose to his knees and clutched Squall's ass tightly within his grip. He slid in slowly, fighting the urge to join them quickly. Squall remained silent at first, the pain too great to actually give voice to it and he bit his lip to keep from crying out. Seifer, however, had no such inhibitions and he uttered a strangled cry as he slid home, seating himself deeply within Squall's body even as it struggled to dispel him.

Seifer stilled, letting Squall adjust, and he leaned down to join their mouths savagely, the lust that rode him proving to be a demanding master, indeed.

"Squall…" He gasped against Squall's lips, and Squall nodded, not sure he could speak.

"Oh, Gods, Squall, it's so good, you feel so perfect." And he opened his eyes once, the light in them scouring the darkness to meet Squall's gaze. "Are you okay?" He asked worriedly. 

Squall nodded once, ignoring the thin line of blood that ran unchecked from the corner of his mouth. Seifer dipped his head to lap at it slowly, almost ashamed at the surge of lust that the sight of Squall bleeding and moaning sent crawling over him.

Seifer slid his hands around to clutch at Squall's hips, lifting him, moving him, helping him along until Squall found his rhythm. He'd begun making a noise that sounded like a cross between a mewl and a purr deep in his throat and it was driving Seifer mad.

Seifer slid his hands up Squall's thighs and wrapped them loosely about him, high up on his waist. Squall moaned, clinging tightly to Seifer as he wrapped his arms around his neck and pulled him down for another kiss. Seifer met his lips hungrily; his tongue sweeping in as soon as their lips made contact and Squall sucked it eagerly, wringing another moan from Seifer.

Seifer kept his hands on the backs of Squall's thighs as he began to thrust deep, keeping his strokes slow and even as his body grew slippery against Squall's. And still he made that mewling little sound that caused Seifer's body to constrict painfully.

"Squall…

Squall opened his eyes the tiniest bit and Seifer watched, enchanted, as one lock of hair tangled with his long lashes and he blinked, eyes hazy. He smiled once at Seifer, looking entranced and frenzied and Seifer moved one hand between them to take Squall's erection into his hand. Squall gasped, back arching and Seifer tightened his hold even as he angled his position, rolling his hips against Squall, sliding into him deeply and, on the upstroke, hitting something inside of Squall that made him want to raise completely off the bed and start praying.

"Oh, Gods, Seifer, don't stop! Right there…please…"

Seifer bowed his head, his hair brushing against Squall's chest as he began to stroke him with his hand even as he continued to pulse deep within him. Squall slid his hands into Seifer's hair, pressing his face against his chest and pulling on the short golden strands as he cried out breathlessly, drawing ever nearer to his completion.

"Seifer…please…" He begged, unabashed in his need, the fire that rushed through his veins sparking dangerously.

Seifer's grip never faltered and he kept his rhythm steady as he pushed blindly against Squall's body, sweat dripping off of him to fall poetically over Squall.

When he felt something in him give and he knew the moment of truth was at hand, he rose slightly, his strokes becoming shallow and quick as he continued to pull at Squall's cock. 

Squall broke then, his muscles clenching tightly around Seifer as he spilled his seed over Seifer's fist and he screamed. Hyne help him, he screamed loud enough to shatter crystal palaces and the sound of his voice, that high-pitched wail forming around Seifer's name was enough.

He spilled hotly into Squall then, unable to stop thrusting even when he felt the last drops being wrung from him. 

When Squall had ceased his movements beneath him and had grown quite still, Seifer collapsed against him, sliding slickly against his chest and wrapping him tightly within his arms.

He paused, inches from Squall's face and simply enjoyed the mingling of their breath, nearly undone with the flood of emotion that enveloped him at that moment. Squall panted lightly, his eyes meeting Seifer's directly. 

"Are you okay?" Seifer asked him softly, still feeling a little guilty for not insisting that they wait.

Squall didn't speak, only nodded his head slightly and it was at that moment, when their bodies began to cool, that Seifer noticed the shudders that wracked Squall's body. 

"Squall, you're shaking, are you okay?" He moved to draw the blanket over them and he tucked it around Squall tenderly as he moved next to him, pulling him close. 

Squall moved into his arms as though he were seeking warmth and he rested his head on Seifer's chest, marveling at the sense of peace that had settled over him. So this was what coming home meant. It felt like nothing Squall could put a name to and he didn't particularly want to try. Something so powerful, so all-encompassing shouldn't have a name, yet it did. Love.

Squall closed his eyes wearily and felt himself drifting and Seifer felt his lips against his skin, curving into a smile as his breathing grew deep and even. And Squall whispered once, almost in awe, "I love you…"

Seifer closed his eyes against the exquisite pain that such an admission brought as he answered, "Always…"

*tbc…

~the boys belong to Square and the title belongs to The Calling. And _just_ in case you're wondering, when I think of Kato, I always imagine him as speaking with a decidedly cockney accent…he's SUCH a tart. And I know that some of you (and you know who I'm talking to) will be a little miffed at the treatment our Zelly is receiving at the hands of Callous Squall, but I promise his heart will mend…very soon…

* * *


	13. Chapter Thirteen

****

Secretly

I've been a friend with unbiased views and then secretly lust after you…

Irvine listened to her relate the day's events to him, her sweet voice chattering on as they strolled, her arm linked through his, her small, pale hand resting on his arm, trapped under his. She grinned up at him, her nose wrinkling slightly as she giggled and he smiled indulgently at her, thinking for about the bazillionth time since he'd met her how very precious she was. How perfect things would be. If only he could love her.

"And I told him, I mean, I gave him fair warning! I said, 'If you don't get out of my way I am sooo gonna kick you in the nuts.' And he just stood there, like he didn't think I could do it and so I just let him have it and down he went, crying like a baby and I was really embarrassed for him, Irvy, I really was."

Irvine smiled at her, shaking his head slightly as he fought the urge to laugh out loud. As he turned his head, though, he saw him. Half hidden under dappled moonlight and shadows, the faint breeze stirring the short blonde hairs on the back of his head. Irvine knew from past experience that the golden crest of his bangs would not be swaying in the breeze. A hurricane couldn't cave that 'do in. 

After he'd finished studying the impressive angle of Zell's hair, he noticed the way his shoulders slumped, the way his head was bowed and Irvine knew he was suffering. Most probably some sort of internal struggle involving the fair Commander, but whatever it was, Irvine knew, better than almost anyone, that when Zell was feeling low, he needed companionship more than anything else.

He turned his gaze back to Selphie, offering her the smile she'd never been immune to and her chatter trailed off, magically, as she raised her eyes to his. The effect that his grin had on women never failed to amuse him. It was almost as though they lost the power to reason when they looked into his eyes. And then his smile faded as he realized that he was all too familiar with that particular feeling, himself.

"Selph, honey," He began, and she nodded, all wide eyes and sweet acquiescence. 

"Yes, Irvy?" She prompted, head angled, expression expectant. He lowered his lashes a little, his smile syrupy in its practiced perfection.

"Do me a great big favor and head on inside. I got a few things I need to do before curfew." He explained. 

She didn't smile, but she didn't look angry either. That was always good. When Selphie got miffed, she got inquisitive and when she started asking questions, the volume level of her voice just kept going right on up.

"Sure, but, will I see you tonight?" She asked, her voice neutral. He knew she wasn't keeping it that way on purpose, as some women did to disguise their true feelings, Selphie had no such artifice in her, no pretensions. He'd managed not to make her feel as though she were being dismissed, and for that he was glad. He knew that Zell would want no witnesses to his pain, and Irvine intended to keep Zell's heartbreak right under his hat. That is, until he could erase it from his memory forever.

"Probably. But no matter what, you and me, breakfast tomorrow, right?" He flashed her the grin and he could have sworn she almost swooned. _Heh heh…_

"'Right, Irvy. I won't forget." She promised, and she rose up on tiptoes to kiss his cheek. He still had to stoop somewhat, just so she could reach him. Short little thing…

And then she was spinning about, her yellow dress moving against her body like the last ray of sunlight in an otherwise darkening sky. He grinned to himself, watching her skip off, the ends of her hair bouncing pertly against her shoulders. And then she was gone, the shadows obscuring most of the quad as was typical at this time of the evening. 

Zell turned then, startled, as though he'd only just become aware that he wasn't alone any longer. Irvine watched him struggle to smile, and the tiny curve of lips that he managed didn't fool Irvine for a minute. So he offered one to Zell. The first real smile he'd given anyone all day.

Zell rubbed absently at the back of his head, unsure of what to say, unsure of why he felt the need to explain his presence in the Quad so long after sunset. It was really no one's business, and yet, the fact that he'd been unable to greet his friend in the way he'd truly wanted to made him want to tell Irvine everything. 

"Hey…uh…Irvine." He began, his voice forced and a little too cheerful, even for Zell Dincht. Irvine tipped his hat, still smiling at the short blonde boy, not missing for one second the way his heartbeat picked up. 

"All alone tonight?" Irvine drawled, making an attempt at lightness. Zell flashed him a self-deprecating smile and shook his head.

"Seems to be the norm lately, doesn't it?" He sounded rueful, and jaded. Irvine found himself wishing that Squall Leonhart were here right now, just so he could lay him flat. And he wasn't planning on using his skills of seduction for it either. One good fist in the face would do quite nicely. But then, if Squall were here, Zell wouldn't be looking at him like he was, all wide blue eyes and uncertain glances. Irvine figured that if there were ever an ideal situation, he was in it and he hoped Zell would forgive him later for the plotting he was doing right now. If Squall wanted Seifer Almasy so damn bad, so be it. That left Zell to him, didn't it? Gods, he hoped so. And he hoped, fervently, that his well-used cowboy charm would work this time. All that practice had to be good for something, right? This one time when it simply had to count. The irony was enough to make Irvine want to laugh. He found himself hoping that the old saying, 'What goes around, comes around', was nothing more than words. Because he needed all the help he could get with this one and he didn't intend to allow long forgotten words to fuck it up.

Zell looked around, noticing that Irvine was alone.

"You here by yourself, too?" He asked, and the surprise was there, in his voice.

Irvine glanced around, taking in the shadows and the almost eerie silence and then he turned to face Zell again.

"Yeah." 

Zell stood near one of the short stone walls, where you could peer over the edge and see all the way to the ground. It was one hell of a drop, and Irvine didn't like it at all. Zell leaned over it a little, face upturned, letting the wind ruffle his hair. Irvine's breath caught in his throat and he gave himself a little mental shake. He would not wax poetic about Zell Dincht leaning over a balcony for Hyne's sake. 

"So, what are you doing out here all by yourself?" Irvine asked him, intentionally keeping his voice light so as not to release the floodgates that Zell was most certainly struggling to keep closed.

Zell shrugged, turning his back to Irvine and taking a deep breath. 

"Just wanted to be somewhere where I couldn't hear the sounds of other people, y'know?" 

Irvine nodded, knowing exactly what Zell meant, although he'd never admit it to anyone. He needed the solitude sometimes, or it felt like the world was closing in on him. He opened his mouth to say something, ask something…whatever, but Zell was bending further over the ledge, his shoes rising off the stone floor as he leaned, and Irvine felt his stomach clutch.

"Uh…Zell…?" His voice sounded strained and something in the way he spoke had Zell turning his head and smiling slightly.

"Whatsa matter Irv?" He asked teasingly. "You don't like heights?"

Irvine glared at him, but it was too late, Zell had scored a direct hit.

"Just…just put your feet back on the ground, k?" 

Zell grinned, knowing that he could have some fun with Irvine if he really wanted to, but just as he began feeling light hearted, the almost dizzying wave of remembrance rushed over him again, and just like that, his heart began to ache.

Irvine saw his eyes shutter, as though he'd put on a mask, and he stepped toward him. No small feat when one took into consideration his irrational dread of heights.

"You okay, Zell?" He asked and Zell lowered his eyes, not answering.

"Zell?" He prompted again, and Zell lifted his eyes slowly. His stare grabbed Irvine then, and when the moonlight reflected off the bright sheen of tears in his impossibly blue eyes, Irvine practically melted.

"What's wrong, Zell? Tell me, whatever it is…" He stepped forward again, hands reaching for Zell instinctively and Zell shook his head, stepping back slightly.

"I called the Presidential residence last night." His voice was uncharacteristically flat, and Irvine had a growing sense of dread that he already knew what was coming.

"You did?" 

Zell nodded miserably, hanging his head and kicking at a loose piece of stone as he spoke.

"Whoever answered the phone said that…" He trailed off, his throat constricting painfully.

Irvine tilted his head and waited, wanting so much to simply wrap his arms around Zell and promise to keep his heart safe for as long as Zell would allow him to.

"He said that Squall was…in his room with Seifer." He said softly.

Irvine waved his words away.

"C'mon, Zell. That doesn't mean anything, I mean…" 

Zell looked up, his eyes glittering and hard and Irvine trailed off, his excuses abandoned in the face of Zell's disdain.

"I know exactly what it means." And he shook his head, the anger gone as soon as it had arrived. He sighed. "It's not like it comes as a surprise or anything, I mean, I knew it was going to happen sooner or later."

Irvine looked perplexed. "You knew what would happen?" 

Zell shoved his hands into his jacket pockets.

"Seifer. And Squall. I knew when he left that it was all over between us." He gave a short bark of laughter. "Before it'd even started."

Irvine looked away, unable to find words that would make Zell feel any better. He supposed he would have to let him come to terms with it on his own.

"Zell?" Tentative, hesitant. Zell looked up, his usual sunny expression overcast and drawn.

"Yeah?" 

"You want to come back to my room for a little while?" He offered lightly. Zell threw him a dubious glance.

"What for?" He sounded suspicious.

Irvine smiled. "Don't flatter yourself, Dincht." And he wrapped an arm around him then, pulling him close and tugging on his golden crest of hair.

"C'mon, I'll feed ya and let you hang out and watch t.v. for awhile."

Zell grinned, reaching behind Irvine to tug on his ponytail as he fell into step beside him.

"You got any hotdogs?" Zell asked hopefully. Irvine chuckled.

"Eh..maybe." 

When Irvine looked down at Zell, he caught the wicked flash of blue, and thought he recognized the warmth that suffused his body…as hope.

***

It was dark. And quiet. And he couldn't remember ever having awakened with such a sense of peace and contentment. Opening his eyes slowly, he could just make out the curve of Squall's jaw, could feel the sweet press of Squall's lips against his shoulder. Seifer rubbed his lips against Squall's tangle of hair and wrapped him closer within his embrace. Squall stirred slightly, moaning softly in his sleep.

_Seifer…_

Seifer's eyes drifted closed again as the warmth of Squall's whisper enveloped him and he sighed, Squall's silky skin sliding over his so perfectly. And before his subconscious had a chance to win out and lull him back to sleep, he lowered his mouth to Squall's and tasted his lips again.

Squall, not quite awake, wound his arms around Seifer's neck as though he'd done it a thousand times before and Seifer kissed him desperately, the sort of kiss that conveyed only the longing behind it. Longing, and need and hope. Squall tasted it on Seifer's tongue and answered it with the press of his body, the sigh on his lips. Giving him everything he knew to give in the hopes that Seifer would understand his heart should words fail him tomorrow.

"Squall…" Seifer's voice was raspy and low, still sleep diluted. Squall moved over Seifer fluidly, straddling him gracefully as he rolled his hips experimentally. Seifer moaned, low and breathless and Squall pressed a small kiss at the hollow of his throat as he moved so sinuously against him.

He reached behind him, finding Seifer's need immediately, guiding it home with just the brush of his fingertips. Seifer strained at the gentle touch and wrapped his arms around Squall's ribs, burrowing his face into the sweet curve of Squall's neck.

"Squall…be careful…" He whispered, some part of him praying that his admonition wouldn't have any adverse affect on Squall's tentative ministrations. Squall rubbed his cheek against Seifer's hair and whispered to him.

"Shh…Seifer. Just let me." His voice was so low and so sweet that Seifer found that he could do nothing but to let him do as he wished while he breathed in the musky scent of his skin. He nodded slightly, leaned his head back against his pillow and allowed himself to simply feel. Squall moved carefully, but not out of any real sense of hesitation. He was still unsure of himself and of what Seifer expected of him, but when he felt Seifer's muscles clench under his thighs, he knew that whatever he did would be okay.

Seifer arched his back when Squall took him inside and he whispered brokenly to him as he held him close. Squall moved against him fluidly, curving his body to accommodate Seifer's embrace and he smiled against Seifer's chest as he listened to the steady beat of his heart.

***

Irvine leaned against the door and grinned. Shirtless, hair loose, hat abandoned for the night, he held a bottle of beer loosely with his fingertips and watched Zell in contentment. He realized that he'd give up sex forever if he could have this to look forward to every night. 

Zell had kicked off his shoes and hung his jacket neatly on the back of Irvine's door, apparently ready to settle in for the evening. He sat cross-legged on Irvine's bed, polishing off his third or fourth hot dog while he giggled between bites. He looked up then, catching the almost wistful expression in Irvine's eyes and he blushed.

"Hey, I've kinda taken over here." He looked sheepish and began rearranging things so that Irvine might have a place to sit. Irvine smiled tightly and shook his head.

"It's all right, there's room." He moved around the bed to get a good look at the t.v. Now he understood what Zell had been giggling at. He was watching Tom and Jerry on the cartoon channel.

Irvine slid him an amused look and Zell blushed slightly. 

"We can change it, you don't have to watch this." Zell offered hesitantly and Irvine shook his head. 

"I like cartoons, leave it." He told him and was rewarded with one of Zell's hundred watt smiles.

"'kay." He agreed happily and scooted over slightly to make room for Irvine. He held out the empty plate and grinned at Irvine.

"I'm full." He said with an apologetic look and Irvine took the plate from him, grinning, and set it down on the nightstand.

"I should hope so. You ate them all." He observed dryly and Zell looked embarrassed.

"Sorry, I just…"

Irvine laughed and toed out of his boots before flopping down on the bed beside Zell and fluffing his pillows up. 

"I'm only kidding, Zell. Lighten up."

Zell looked uncomfortable as Irvine stretched his long frame out on the bed and crossed his ankles lazily. Zell was sitting practically on the edge and Irvine gave him a strange look.

"Everything okay?" He asked lightly and Zell shook his head a little too quickly.

"Uh, yeah. I'm fine." He assured him, scooting back onto the bed as though to make a point.

Zell grabbed the remote control and began flipping idly through the stations, more out of a need to give himself something to focus on rather than any real desire to watch t.v. Irvine sighed contentedly as he settled further into the mattress and he looked up at Zell to catch him watching before his eyes slid closed.

"You watch what you want, Zell, I'm just gonna relax a while." His voice was low and slurred, and Zell knew it wouldn't be long before he'd be sleeping.

Zell nodded, although Irvine couldn't see it and he moved a little closer, scooting down in the bed and stretching out beside his friend. While lying so close to Irvine in such a seemingly intimate setting made him a little uncomfortable, Zell was grateful for the company. It was a welcome distraction, even if he was getting a strange vibe from Irvine. Or maybe he was just paranoid.

After a few minutes of unnatural stiffness and wariness, Zell lay the remote down and turned over on his side. Irvine had turned to face him in his sleep, and Zell was unprepared for the jolt of lust careening through his belly as he turned his gaze on Irvine. He lay almost perfectly arranged, one hand curled under his cheek, the other tucked between his knees. His hair had spread over his shoulders and out onto his pillow, the flickering light from the television making the silky strands appear shot through with gold and red. His lips were full and slack, his eyes closed lightly, the long brown lashes resting against his creamy skin. Zell licked his lips once and steeled himself against the unexpected surge of want that he experienced when Irvine stirred once and moaned softly in his sleep.

Zell grew very still and barely dared to breathe when Irvine stretched one arm out and lay it protectively over him. He grew rigid almost immediately, knowing that if he had any sense at all he'd get up, put his shoes on and hightail his ass back to his own bed. But somehow, with the artificial light from the t.v. casting warm, familiar shadows on the walls, and Irvine's welcoming offer of companionship still fresh in his mind, Zell relaxed under his sheltering touch and moved to rub his cheek experimentally against the pillow. Within minutes he was beginning to drift and he reached down to grasp the blanket, so near to unconsciousness that he was barely aware of his surroundings. He lifted the blanket and covered them both, glad to be where he was and thankful for Irvine's sincere thoughtfulness. He fell asleep shortly thereafter, his last sight that of Irvine's sinfully beautiful mouth, and warm from the welcoming heat of his body. Irvine sighed blissfully and snuggled even closer until their knees touched and Zell was wrapped quite sweetly into the curve of his body. And he dreamed not at all.

*****

The sky was still gray when Seifer shook him awake, tickling his sides and rubbing his lips against the shell of his ear.

"Squall." He whispered, wrapping his arms around Squall's still form, still sprawled over him sleepily. Squall turned his head, groaning in protest and burrowing his nose into the warmth of Seifer's neck.

"Hmmm…" He murmured nowhere ready to leave the sanctuary of the bed they'd shared.

Seifer smiled faintly, reveling in the silky warmth of Squall's skin and wishing they could ignore reality and stay in bed for the rest of the week, at least. He knew though, as well as Squall did, that they had to face the day and decide how best to protect Laguna. 

He tried again. "Squall. Come on, Squall, we have to get up." He ran his hands up and down Squall's back, bringing him awake slowly. Squall turned his head to face Seifer again and opened his eyes hesitantly.

"What time is it?" He asked hoarsely and Seifer looked down to watch him fight consciousness. He smiled.

"Little before dawn, I think." 

Squall groaned again. "It's too early…"

That earned him a chuckle from Seifer, who shifted slightly under him, tumbling him off of his body and onto the mattress. 

"I'm going to get in the shower, give me a minute or two to get the temperature right and come join me." Even as he issued the invitation, he wondered how wise it would be to have Squall in the shower with him when they had a time limit. _Fuck it._ _I've earned it._

"Okay, Squall?" He prompted and Squall yawned, stretching and twisting his lithe form, causing the blankets to shift in a most becoming manner. He rolled over onto his stomach, one knee pulled up toward his chest and he hummed softly, sleepily. Seifer couldn't help smiling as he watched the Commander of Balamb Garden curl up in his bed like a spoiled kitten.

"Squall?" It was a warning. Squall heard it and made a soft whimpering sound.

"Okay, okay, Seifer, I heard you. Go ahead, I'm right behind you." He promised, his voice still low and husky. 

Seifer shook his head, smiling even though, and padded silently into the adjoining bathroom. Squall heard the door close and the water begin running and he sighed, shooting for at least another 5 minutes of sleep. 

Drifting peacefully, in that wonderful trance-like state that exists between deep slumber and waking, Squall heard the door open almost silently and then he heard the footsteps. He grinned sleepily, wondering what tactic Seifer would employ to convince him to get out of bed. The bed sunk under the weight of another body moving stealthily over the mattress and Squall hummed low in his throat. He felt him crawling over the blankets, on all fours, the bed dipping under his weight before he stilled his movements. Squall could almost picture him leaning over him on all fours, lowering his lips to Squall's neck, his hair brushing against his cheek…

"Wakey, wakey." A familiar voice purred into his right ear and Squall jumped, scooting over to the other side of the bed with a decidedly undignified squeak.

Kato leaned back on his elbows, ankles crossed, his bronzed body covered only with an indecently small swath of a towel. His sun-kissed hair was darkened with his recent shower and it hung in messy little spikes into his eyes.

"Good morning, sweet prince." He teased, shifting so that his towel parted just a bit.

Squall sat up, clutching the sheet around him as he realized that he was lying there naked. Kato, however, was not so remiss in the awareness department.

"Somebody passed a sleepless night." He grinned and Squall scowled at him, tightening the sheet around his waist.

"What the hell are you doing in here?" He growled, not amused in the slightest.

Kato licked his lips and smiled. "Well, I was just checking to make sure you and lover boy were ready to rise and shine." His eyes traveled the length of Squall's body to rest on what the sheet covered all too well. "I guess you didn't need my help in the 'rising' department." He drawled

Squall resisted the urge to kick him off the bed. "We're up. Go away." 

Kato shrugged. "Up." He murmured, exotic eyes fixed to the front of Squall's sheet. "That's relative, don't you think?" 

Squall closed his eyes and prayed for the strength not to murder Kato during the course of the day.

"Kato, I just woke up, I'm not in the mood." He told him wearily. Kato grinned and looked up as he saw the bathroom door opening. Steam rolled out in hazy clouds and Seifer appeared in the doorway, towel clutched casually to him, water streaming down his body in rivulets. His brows drew together briefly as he took in the scene before him and he bit his lip to stifle the chuckle that hovered at the back of his throat. Squall wore his trademark long-suffering expression and refused to move his gaze to Kato.

"Kato, what the hell are you doing in here?" Seifer asked him, although his tone was much lighter than Squall's had been. Kato grinned and pulled off his towel, tossing it at Squall, where it landed quite unceremoniously over Squall's head.

Kato remained in much the same position he'd been in before, and he grinned wickedly at Seifer. 

"Just bringing the sweet prince a towel, is all." He explained, as though his thoughtfulness should never have been called into question.

Squall pulled the towel off of his head and cut his eyes to Kato, only to avert them again.

"Hyne, Kato." He murmured and Seifer couldn't bite back his laughter this time.

Squall shot him a quelling glance as he stood up awkwardly, struggling to keep the sheet wrapped about him. 

Kato hopped off the bed then, grinning mischievously and blowing Squall a kiss as he paraded by. 

"You boys enjoy your shower. Hurry up though, I'd hate to be forced to send Kiros up here after you."

Seifer bit his lip as he watched the dull color suffuse Squall's cheeks, who pretended that he didn't see Kato's perfect little ass swaying past him.

Kato left the door open, on purpose, no doubt, and Squall heard him chuckling as he bounded down the stairs.

"Little bastard." Squall muttered and tugged on his sheet again. Seifer smiled softly as he watched Squall struggle to keep from losing his balance and tripping on the length of tangled fabric.

"Squall. You can leave the sheet." His voice was low and laced with humor and Squall blushed again, embarrassed by his own shyness.

He ceased his graceless waddling, however and straightened his shoulders, releasing the sheet and letting it pool around his feet. His reward was Seifer's slow, wicked smile and the tiniest curve of his finger as he beckoned Squall to join him.

Squall answered him with a small twitch of his narrow hips and the knowing, icy look in his eyes.

"Hope you saved some hot water, Almasy." He teased, his voice low and smoky. Seifer tilted his head back and offered him his trademark smirk.

"I can promise you won't miss it."

***

*Next chapter…road trip with the boys. Two words. Cat. Fight. Sorry it took so long, but I blame a select group of people for my distraction. It's their fault. The title belongs to Skunk Anansie…the boys belong to Square. Duh.


	14. Chapter Fourteen

**_Original Prankster_**

Life, Life, Cannot Go By the Letter ~ Time, Time, Prozac can make it better…

There was, as it turned out, plenty of hot water left when Squall joined Seifer in the shower. Within minutes the Commander's skin had flushed a deep, dusky pink and his hair was hanging in sodden disarray, sending thin rivulets streaming over his cheeks and down his neck. 

Seifer stood directly under the spray of water, head tipped back, eyes closed, lips slightly parted as he rinsed his hair. Squall watched him, riveted, needing to blink away the water droplets that clung stubbornly to his eyelashes, but unwilling to close his eyes and cheat himself out of even one second of the arrogant beauty that was Seifer. He was amazed, once again, that he was capable of feeling like this…about anything. To finally be able to feel was a shock in and of itself, but to feel it with his long-time enemy was still just beyond the scope of Squall's reasoning.

He stood there, within the marbled walls and began to shiver, and still he couldn't tear his eyes away. Every line of Seifer's body was perfect symmetry. From his beautifully shaped calves to the graceful arch of his neck, he was everything that Squall had never been able to, and probably never would, put into words. Trying to call forth the intense hatred they'd once shared made his worship all the more surreal. It was almost unthinkable. But then, it had never really been hatred…had it?

Seifer opened his eyes then and the brightness of his eyes seemed almost otherworldly in comparison to the absolute whiteness that surrounded them. Water clung to his eyelashes, Squall watched him blink them away. He smiled at him, that slow, knowing smirk and Squall felt it land like a punch, right at his midsection. His lips parted slightly and he inhaled audibly.

"You thinking too much again?" Seifer murmured, reaching for him and pulling him close. Squall moved into his arms without hesitation, turning his face up to catch the warm spray. Seifer moved back a little, bringing Squall directly beneath the spray.

"You're shivering." He said, almost to himself. Squall nodded, closing his eyes as the water slicked his hair back and slid over his body soundlessly.

Seifer's fingers danced over Squall's skin, following the trails of water and he sighed. Squall lowered his chin and gazed at him just in time to catch the look of sweet yearning that Seifer just couldn't seem to hide. If he even wanted to hide it.

"Squall…" He whispered, no other words available to him at that moment and Squall smiled at him, that sweet, boyish, unguarded smile that completely swept away Seifer's sense of reality.

Squall lifted one finger to rest on Seifer's bottom lip and he rubbed against him with one slow, desirous arch.

"I know what you want." He assured him, the low purr of his voice coaxing even more of a reaction from Seifer than he'd first imagined it would. Seifer moved behind him then, sliding his hands over Squall's chest and rolling his hips against him, knowing their time was limited, but quite simply unable to care.

Seifer lowered his head to the curve of Squall's neck, tasting the faint sweetness of his skin while one hand slid over his ass and down the back of his thigh. Squall inhaled sharply and Seifer steadied him, wrapping one arm firmly around his waist.

"Seifer…." Still so strange to whisper his name like that, with reverence and lust, as though his heart and his body were conspiring against him, planning his ultimate surrender. And surrender it had been, although Squall wasn't sure who'd waved the white flag first. He was sure that he couldn't care less and as he felt Seifer lifting his leg to balance on the marble ledge, he breathed his name again, his voice trailing off in a little whimper. 

Seifer turned Squall's head with one finger on his chin, his lips moving over Squall's as though he couldn't taste him enough.

Squall spurred him on with small, throaty whimpers and when Seifer answered him with a low, rumbling growl of his own, Squall broke the kiss, leaned his head back on Seifer's shoulder and breathed, "Fuck me." 

Seifer's eyes slid closed and he bit down on his bottom lip hard enough to draw blood as he attempted to stem the intense tide of want that was rushing unchecked through his veins.

Tightening his arm around Squall's waist, he guided himself into his lover's body, taking his hand away when his cock found the place it sought. He wrapped both arms around Squall then, hands splayed over his delicate ribs as he thrust upward roughly, sliding in perfectly after that initial push. Squall moaned his name brokenly, the pleasure almost too intense to bear, particularly after he'd spent the night in very much the same position that he was in at that moment. But when he felt Seifer's fist close over his erection, and heard his ragged breathing right next to his ear, Squall's focus disintegrated and he leaned forward, both hands on the wall, his back arched at just the right angle.

He knew the precise moment that Seifer lost control as his thrusts became unmeasured and he began making those mindless, inarticulate noises in the back of his throat. Squall arched further and felt Seifer throbbing within him, so very close to reaching his peak that Squall closed his eyes and let go, his restraint falling away immediately. He reached behind him with one hand and let his fingers slide over the sharp plane of Seifer's hip. Seifer's hand tightened around his cock then he began to moan incoherently, Squall's name spilling off his lips even as he was spilling uncontrollably into Squall's body.

Squall followed him over the edge only a second after, his sobbing cries reaching a new summit. Seifer stopped worrying that someone might hear them, as he realized it would save him the trouble later of telling anyone who would listen that he was lost. Utterly. And that he had no intention of ever going back.

***

Kato perched on the back of the sofa in Laguna's sitting room; his balance and grace rivaling that of a cat's. That he also had a cat's nine lives and a cat's uncanny ability to always land on his feet was no coincidence. While his life hadn't been an easy one, Kato was a pro at mastering any unfortunate situation and turning it around to suit his needs whenever necessary. It was the one thing that had drawn Seifer to him when they'd first met. It was also the one thing that irritated the living hell out of Kiros.

Said General was standing in the doorway, his expression grim, his dark eyes following Laguna's every movement.

"Laguna. We're not going to a resort. This is not a vacation." He reminded him for what had to be the tenth time in so many minutes.

Laguna looked up, undaunted, either ignoring the snippy tone of voice, or just so used to hearing it that it didn't really require acknowledgment any longer. He zipped up his small travel bag and winked at Kato before turning to face Laguna.

"I know precisely where we're going, Kiros, and I'm not really happy with our current state of affairs, so if I want to pretend I'm going on vacation, that's exactly what I'll do." He sounded sunny and cheerful, but Kiros caught the edge of steel beneath it and curved his lips up into a very convincing sneer.

"We're losing valuable time. What are they doing up there?" He griped. Kiros never bitched and whined, he was just too dignified. This made Kato all the happier for his sour mood because it meant he could take advantage and maybe even send Kiros flying into a hissy fit before the day was out. He grinned. Free from Seb and gifted with Kiros to tease to his hearts' content. Life was good.

It was at that precise moment that Squall's tortured, keening cry echoed down the hallway, reverberating throughout the second wing of the palace.

Kiros raised his eyes to the ceiling, shock delineating his face, mixed with just a hint of distaste.

"Sweet Hyne…" He murmured, wishing he could close his ears to what he was hearing, as there was no mistaking the cause of such a wail.

Laguna tilted his head and folded a pair of socks, humming sweetly and appearing quite oblivious to the ecstatic shout that had so obviously just come from his son. Kiros was still staring at the ceiling as though he expected the bathroom floor to give way so that he would become witness to whatever Seifer was doing to Squall that had made him scream loud enough to shatter glass. Kato merely looked inordinately amused.

"Whassa matter, Kiros? You never had somebody make you holler like that?"

Kiros turned his gaze to Kato so fast that one could almost imagine hearing his bones snap.

"What the hell did you just say to me?" He demanded, deep red flush riding high on his cheekbones. Kato smiled wickedly at him, blue eyes sparkling.

"Kato, would you please grab my robe from the back of the bathroom door for me?" Laguna asked him sweetly and Kato nodded, smirking at Kiros as he hopped down from the sofa and padded out of the room.

"I wish you wouldn't encourage him." Kiros said, sounding for all the world like a petulant child.

Laguna chuckled. "Encourage him to what exactly?" When Kiros didn't answer, and only scowled that much more, Laguna laughed again, louder this time.

"Stop acting like an old woman, Kiros. We're in a mess here, we'll just have to make the best of it."

Kiros unfolded his arms from his chest and stood there, mouth agape and unbelievably insulted. Kato, of course, chose that exact moment to reenter the room. As he tossed the white fluffy bathrobe to Laguna, he quirked an eyebrow at Kiros.

"Might want to close your mouth, Kiros…or is that an invitation?" 

Kiros made a small, strangled sound and lunged for Kato, who promptly jumped behind Laguna and grinned, his small, white teeth flashing in yet another display of impertinence.

"I swear to Hyne, when I get my hands on you…" He began. 

Kato wrapped his arms around Laguna's waist and peered out from under his arm, grinning impishly.

"Promises, promises, Seagill." He taunted him, the husky edge of his voice leaving no doubt as to where his thoughts were headed.

Laguna chuckled again, leaning over to ruffle Kato's hair.

"Aw, come on, Kiros, lighten up." Laguna admonished.

Kiros looked dumbfounded. "Lighten…lighten…" He snorted, beyond annoyed and he spun on one heel to leave the room, grumbling to himself.

As his grumbling faded out of earshot, Laguna turned to Kato, who looked quite pleased with himself.

"He'll only let you taunt him so much, you know." Laguna warned him. "I can't promise he'll restrain his temper forever."

Kato laughed as he curled up on Laguna's just made bed, rumpling the blankets as he stretched lazily.

"That's what I'm counting on." He responded, grinning at Laguna sweetly.

Laguna shook his head. 

"Hyne help us."

***

Kiros stood outside the room that Seifer had called his own over the past few days and waited. It was strangely silent, which could mean one of two things. One, they were done humping like animals and were finally ready to go, or two, certain physical circumstances were preventing them from screaming aloud. Kiros didn't hear any grunting or moaning however, and taking that as a good sign, knocked on the door. The floor was so heavily carpeted that one was unable to hear actual footsteps, but he straightened anyway, looking as though he had a steel pole strapped to his back. Raising his hand to knock again, he halted when the door was pulled open and he found himself staring into a pair of hazy green eyes.

"Can I help you?" Seifer prompted when Kiros simply stood there, words apparently having deserted for the first time in years.

Kiros blinked and squared his shoulders. "It sounds as though you've been helpful enough this morning. Now if you're quite finished…" He waved a hand in the air as he cast about for a tactful enough word. Ah well, in for a penny, in for a pound. "…_fucking_…may I suggest you get your asses downstairs so that we might leave sometime today?"

Seifer narrowed his eyes briefly, a little insulted, and he tossed a glance over his shoulder to Squall, who was lacing up the front of his leather pants. Squall looked up then, feeling the weight of both Seifer's and Kiros' stare and he smirked, his expression both blissful and self-satisfied.

Seifer answered with a smile of his own and Kiros shook his head slowly. Knowing that it would do no good to admonish either of them, particularly considering the fact that if _he _were given an option, he'd be wrapped around Laguna Loire, feasting on depravity, he favored Squall with a long-suffering look.

"Hurry up, little cub, before your father starts packing the china. We need to get moving or we're going to have two full days of travel instead of just the one."

Squall nodded, the slow, almost imperceptible lifting of his chin that had always, to Kiros, smacked of arrogance. Narrowing his eyes at the Commander once more, Kiros spun on his heel and made his way down the hallway, backbone rigid with indignation when Seifer's parting, "Tight-ass", reached Kiros' ears a split second before he'd closed the door.

Kiros considered going back into the room and slapping Almasy around just to prove that he could, but decided instead that his dignity had suffered enough for one morning. And Hyne knew, having to deal with Kato all fucking day was definitely going to try his patience enough. No. Better to reserve his scathing comments and biting wit for the car trip from hell. Kiros bowed his head, covering his face with his hand, and groaned.

"Kiros?" Laguna's sweet voice carried up to him from the bottom stair and he smiled then, his private 'Hyne I want you but you're too dense to see it' smile that he worked so hard to hide when he was around other people. 

"On my way." Was all he said, his sarcasm carrying no weight with Laguna, who always missed it anyway.

At the bottom of the stairs lay an indecent amount of luggage, with Kato perched on top of the pile. Typical. Laguna stood off to the side, holding his little travel bag and patting Ward's arm as he read from the list of precautions that were to be taken in Laguna's absence.

Kiros glanced at Kato, who grinned disarmingly and hopped down from the pile of suitcases.

"Where's Romeo and Juliet?" He inquired lightly, not wanting to push Kiros too far, not yet, anyway.

Kiros scowled. "They're coming." He mumbled, wanting to go over a few things with Ward before they had to leave. 

Kato gave an amused little snort and hefted one of Laguna's bags over his shoulder.

"Again?" He asked incredulously and laughed when Kiros practically snarled at him.

"Start loading the vehicle, we're already behind schedule." He told Kato in a steady voice, practically amazed at his own restraint. Perhaps he was getting soft. Too mellow in his old age.

Kato frowned. "What am I? The houseboy?" He complained.

Kiros turned to fully face him, his expression dark and forbidding.

"Laguna doesn't like blood stains on the carpet. I, however, have no such qualms. Get your ass moving." He growled and wasn't surprised when Kato grinned.

"Yes, sir, General Seagill!" His heels snapped together and he saluted, turning the respectful gesture into one that required only one finger before he moved quickly past Laguna and Ward, wisely out of Kiros' reach.

Seifer chose that moment to make his appearance, Squall following close behind, and Laguna looked up and smiled.

"We're ready when you are!" He told Seifer, and Squall ran a gloved hand through his tousled hair.

"Let's go." He murmured.

Ward waved silently, his easy smile a fitting farewell as he watched them pile into the vehicle, struggling to secure Laguna's luggage – and thanked the gods that he wasn't going too.

***

Kiros was in hell. With Esthar quickly becoming a memory and Laguna decreeing that the air was cool enough to simply roll down the windows and enjoy the breeze, Kiros was so aggravated he could have gnawed through a leather strap.

He sat, long legs folded uncomfortably before him to make room for the long legs that were pressing directly into the back of his seat, in obvious misery. 

Laguna was turning this trip into a family camp out, and Kiros felt his temples beginning to throb. After his initial suggestion of a sing along had been met with Almasy's unamused glare, Laguna had switched on the radio where some sort of Christian rock was flowing gleefully out of the speaker that was situated right at Kiros' ear level.

His hands beginning to shake, Kiros covered his ear with his palm and rested his elbow on the window. They would have to stop to refuel again and Kiros vowed to sever the speaker wire when Laguna had his back turned.

Kato watched Kiros with no small amount of amusement and he leaned up between the seats and rested his chin on Laguna's shoulder. Laguna glanced down briefly and smiled before turning his eyes back to the road.

"What can I do for you, Kato?" He asked brightly and Kato slid a glance at Kiros before he sighed dramatically.

"I was just wondering if you'd mind turning the volume up. I can't hear the music very well and I really love this song."

Laguna beamed and reached over to pat the top of Kato's head before reaching for the volume control on the radio.

"Sure thing, Kato. It is pretty catchy, huh?" 

Kiros gripped Laguna's wrist then, moving faster than a snake strikes, and turned to look at him, his right eye beginning to twitch.

"No." He ground out, and switched the radio off himself, releasing Laguna's wrist and settling back against the seat with a ragged breath.

Laguna shot him a strange look and flashed Kato an apologetic smile in the rearview mirror.

"Sorry, Kato. Guess we won't be listening to the radio right now." Laguna looked pointedly at Kiros then and turned his attention back to the road ahead.

Kato sighed. "Ah well. Maybe later." And he sat back again, stretching his legs out to prop his bare feet on the console between Kiros and Laguna.

Kiros didn't start screaming right away so Kato twitched his toes and began humming a rather cheerful rendition of 'Give me that old-time religion'. 

Squall couldn't repress a low chuckle and Seifer grinned at him, leaning down to whisper, "You haven't seen the half of it."

Kato winked at Squall and continued humming, putting added emphasis on certain parts of the tune. Kiros tasted blood on his tongue as he bit into his lip and he thought to himself that no amount of religion was going to save Kato when Laguna stopped the car.

A/N ~ Okay…I feel as though I must apologize for the amount of slacking that I've been doing and yes I know that there was no Zell in this chapter…Please believe me when I say that if I'd started in on Zell and Irvine, this would have been another 18 page chapter. Okay, so that's not really a problem for anyone except me…

The tone of Zell and Irvine's interaction in no way fit with Kato's brattiness, so next chapter, I promise. Maybe I'll even post again over the next few days! Never can tell!

Thanks again for all the wonderful reviews. Glad to know that at least a few people are following ;)

*Note to my good pals Race and Darksquall who totally fucked me on the reviews last chapter ~ RP allowances will not be made. No excuses. :P


	15. Chapter Fifteen

Godsdamned, Motherfucking, Unrequited Love…

I know that to the winds my reason is cast

But since I have begun to speak at last,

I must go on and unto thee declare

A secret that I can no longer bear…

Zell awoke slowly, feeling warm and strangely protected, the muted sunlight falling in strained arcs across the room. He opened his eyes slowly, the brilliant blue of his iris' hidden and then visible as he stretched languidly and nudged the warm body beside him. Zell wasn't one of those people who forgot, overnight, where he'd lay his head the night before. He knew without looking that he was lying beside Irvine and that Irvine had not yet awakened. 

Zell wondered what time it was, but didn't want to move to glance at the clock. He could tell that it was late morning, and judging by the way the sunlight filtered in it was cloudy as well. Raining would've been better. Then he wouldn't feel so bad for sleeping the morning away. Oh well, he'd stayed up late the night before and figured he deserved a late morning every once in a while.

He covered his mouth with the back of his hand, yawning quietly, and turned his gaze on Irvine. The way he looked when he was conscious was tempting enough, but to see him in repose, the vibrant purple of his eyes shielded from view, his perfectly bowed mouth, lips shell pink and slightly parted, was altogether breathtaking. 

Zell smiled, the faint softness of it lending his face an even more tranquil look. The ache in his heart, the one that only Squall Leonhart had the ability to ease, had not dulled. If anything, it had increased with the added guilt of waking up in Irvine's bed and his silently lamenting the beautiful shape of the cowboy's lips. 

Zell sighed. Rock and a hard place. No shit. The fact that Squall was bringing Seifer Almasy home should have been enough to clear his conscience. At least so the act of getting naked and sweaty with Kinneas wouldn't be an issue. But it wasn't. And it would be. Zell's heart was not ambiguous, no matter how much he wished it could be. When Zell loved, he loved intensely and Squall would have to tell him, with no uncertainty, that he loved someone else before Zell would be able to pick up the pieces of his heart and move on. Even though he knew, hells, he'd _always _known, that Seifer was the one Squall truly loved, he'd never given up hope. Hope that one day Squall would be able to see beyond Seifer Almasy and notice _him._

Zell sighed, a small, resigned sound and Irvine chose that moment to open his eyes. How he could appear so oriented as soon as he awoke, Zell didn't know, but Irvine was gazing at him with unmistakable cognizance. And then he smiled.

***

"Right here, Laguna. This will do well enough." Kiros was back to giving orders as though _he _were the President of Esthar and Laguna smiled, pleased that his General and best friend had apparently snapped out of his crabby mood and decided to join the living.

Kato sat, looking satisfied and not the tiniest bit wilted, between Squall and Seifer, arms crossed over his chest, leather bands biting into his skin. 

"I'm hella thirsty, Kiros. Get me a drink?" He inquired lightly, his smile sweet and unassuming.

Kiros cut his eyes to Kato and growled. "Get your own damned drink." 

Laguna pulled into an open space and put the car in park. He turned to Kiros with a weary expression on his face and sighed.

"Is this how it's going to be from here to Balamb? Because I have to tell you, Kiros, I don't think I can stand this constant bickering." 

Kiros' expression didn't alter, although he was incredibly put out. 

"I don't hear you giving that same little speech to your golden boy in the back seat, Laguna. Why shouldn't I be insulted that you've chosen to deliver your warning to me alone?"

Laguna tucked his machine gun under his seat, unbuckling his seat belt and opening the car door.

"Because," he explained patiently, "You're supposed to be the adult."

Kiros sat in stunned silence, completely still, as Laguna got out of the car and shut the door with a firm click. If he counted to a hundred, no, two hundred, maybe he could get out of the car, find a restroom and scream like a banshee with no one being the wiser. At least that way, Kato could go on drawing breath. For now.

Seifer chose that moment to nudge the back of Laguna's seat.

"C'mon, Seagill. My leg's starting to cramp, hurry up." He complained.

Kiros opened the car door and stretched his long legs out before him, standing slowly and stiffly, glaring at Seifer the whole way. 

Seifer pushed against the back of seat, causing it to bump Kiros on the ass as he stood. He turned, frowning, and pushed the lever under the seat, allowing it to come forward so the others' could get out of the car.

Seifer unwound his long frame gracefully, stepping out of the car with a relieved expression on his face. 

"Damn, but that's a long way to travel all curled up in such a small place." He said, grinning at Kiros.

Kiros arched an eyebrow. "Oh, I don't know, Almasy. I thought you liked small, tight places." He observed neutrally, pretending to study the passersby. 

Seifer smiled sweetly and mouthed the words 'fuck you', tilting his head in a most beguiling manner.

Kiros returned the smile and held the seat up for Kato and Squall. Kato slid over to the door, sliding out of the seat, toes reaching toward the ground, much faster than Seifer had moved before him. He wiggled out, turning sideways, his nose brushing Kiros' as he moved closely by him. Kiros pulled back and scowled, motioning Squall over.

"Hurry up, pretty one, we don't have all day." He barked. 

Squall scowled at him, his belt catching on the vehicle's cheap fabric seats. He reached behind him, feeling around for whatever had him pinned, and cursed fluently. Seifer grinned. 

"You need some help?" He asked, his voice teasing and intimate. Squall blushed, deep and telling.

"No." He muttered, ripping at the seat and freeing his belt with a sharp tearing sound. He didn't look back to see the damage.

"Tsk, tsk, Squall, you've damaged an official Estharian Government Issue vehicle. I'm pretty sure that carries a penalty." Kato grinned, his teeth flashing white, small and perfectly straight. Squall narrowed his eyes.

"Shut up." He muttered, too hot and irritated to bother verbally sparring with Kato.

Kiros closed the door and checked his watch. 

"Okay, girls. Ten minutes, no more, no less. We've wasted enough time already." 

Squall nodded, falling into step behind Seifer and heading toward the small convenience store, needing a drink and maybe even a sleep or two. Things could get uglier as the day wore on.

Kato snapped to attention, saluting Kiros smartly, his bare chest and ragged cut off shorts somehow ruining the formal effect. Kiros rolled his eyes and felt around inside his vest for the money he'd tucked into his pocket.

"Hurry it up. If you're standing beside this car when I get back, we'll leave you here." He warned him ominously. Kato bowed, low and reverently and skipped off whistling 'I'm the king of the castle'. 

Kiros waited until Kato was out of view and he gave in to the smile that was playing at the corner of his lips. This damned heat was making him crazy. He was smiling when all he really wanted to do was unsheathe his blades and find a way to silence that little bastard permanently.

Laguna strolled through the doors then, the arid wind picking up tendrils of his hair and sending them dancing around the regal lines of his cheekbones. Kiros felt his throat tighten. Godsdamned, motherfucking, unrequited love. He wasn't going to make it all the way to Balamb Garden…he just wasn't.

"Heads up, Kiros!" Laguna called out cheerfully, tossing his friend an icy bottle. Kiros grinned and caught the bottle one handed, turning it to view the label. Iced Green Tea. That man knew him better than his own mother had. It was a damned shame he was so clueless.

"Thanks." Kiros nodded at him and headed toward the bathroom, planning on being back at the car before Kato was so that he could ensure he wouldn't lose his seat.

As Laguna watched him vanish around the corner, Squall appeared through the loose, swinging doors of the store, his gait sure and confident when he turned once, and bestowed on Seifer the kind of smile that made a man's knees weak. The knowing, self-satisfied smirk was still playing across his face when he turned back to face Laguna and he _winked._

Laguna stood, bottle raised to his lips, mouth agape, never imagining he'd ever see that particular expression on his son's face. And now, here it was and it made him seem so…normal.

Seifer followed behind him, gaze riveted on Squall's tight, leather-clad ass, and his eyes darkened with lust as his tongue snaked out to trace the line of his full lower lip. Laguna almost clapped a hand over his eyes, feeling as though he were witnessing something incredibly private and intense. It embarrassed him, and even though, it made his heart lighten, for it meant that Squall was going to be okay. Eventually.

Squall reached the car first, looking refreshed and a little secretive as he opened the door and slid to the far side of the seat. Seifer paused once, setting his drink on the top of the car and reaching into his pants, shifting himself with a small grimace and then smiling at Laguna, jerking his head upwards in a little nod of acknowledgment before he grabbed his drink and slide into the car beside Squall. 

Laguna averted his eyes, wondering if he were supposed to do something. Give him the thumbs up sign, maybe? And for what? Surely they hadn't…not in such a small amount of time…there were people in there, for Hynes' sake!

Laguna shook his head. He wasn't going to ponder that particular subject. It was simply too distasteful. He looked up then to see Kato sauntering out of the store, a can of strawberry soda in one hand, and a cherry lollipop in the other. His loose-limbed, rolling gait brought to mind unbidden lustful images, as Laguna was almost positive they were meant to. He moved like a finely oiled machine, his arms swinging at his sides, his hips twitching in that way that promised a wild night of whatever fantasy one could dream up. Laguna felt his stomach turn slightly. The heat must be getting to him. All he wanted was a nice hotel with an indoor pool and then he could escape the unusually high testosterone levels that were threatening to choke him.

He noticed Kiros headed towards him then, his familiar, efficient, take-no-prisoners stride that Laguna had come to recognize as Kiros' alone, and he smiled. Thank Hyne that some things were constant.

Laguna slid behind the wheel once more and started the engine, rolling up his windows and conceding that, yes, maybe it was too hot outside to forego the air conditioning. He heard soft, murmuring sounds coming from the back seat and he adjusted his mirror quickly, entirely too tempted to glance into it and see just whom was whispering to whom. 

Kiros reached the car then, a split second before Kato and he opened the door with a nod and a tight smile.

"Ladies first." He said solicitously and Kato leaned against the car, raising the lollipop to his lips slowly and circling the tip of it with his small pink tongue. He met Kiros' gaze directly, dark eyes meeting azure ones and Kato slid the lollipop along his tongue until the stick and what seemed like half of his hand had disappeared into his mouth.

Kiros swallowed almost unnoticeably and forced a small smile.

"Nice try, brat. Get in." He ground out, hating the strangled sound of his own voice.

Kato slid the lollipop back out and leaned toward Kiros, the wicked glint in his eyes more serious than he could ever be and he flicked the tip of his tongue over Kiros' ear.

"I wasn't trying…General." And then he ducked into the car, settling in directly behind Kiros' seat, tossing a little smirk in Seifer's direction, who was doing his level best not to snicker. Seifer knew, however, that Kiros was rapidly reaching his limit, and he didn't plan on being the one who pushed him over the edge. Kato was doing a bang-up job of that all by himself.

***

That slow, easy grin that Zell had begun to know as Irvine's trademark did unspeakable things to his resolve. His lashes fluttered against the golden skin of his cheeks, his lips curved so sweetly, so perfectly, Zell had to wonder what kind of idiot he'd been not to notice where Irvine's intentions had lain. But suddenly here they were, early in the a.m., clouds gathering with unmistakable intent and it all became crystal clear. Zell cursed himself for being ten times a fool and not figuring it out before when he'd always prided himself on his innate intuitiveness. Damn.

"How long?" He asked, his voice sleepy and intimate. 

To his credit, Irvine didn't feign ignorance, didn't try the cowboy charm, didn't give him that shit-eating grin that he offered to every woman he came into contact with. He simply reached out to trace the line of Zell's jaw and smiled. A real one.

"Since the night of our victory party." He countered smoothly.

Zell closed his eyes once, opening them almost immediately when he realized that he had no right, no reason, to hide his thoughts from Irvine. Zell gave as good as he got, and since he demanded nothing less than total honesty, he was bound to return it in kind.

"Why?" He asked quietly. "I mean, you and Selphie…" It sounded stupid, even to his ears. Because you spent time with someone of the opposite sex, even went so far as to appear very physically intimate with them, you were indeed involved?

"I'm sorry. That was stupid…" He began, wanting to bury his face in the pillow and scream.

"It's not stupid. It's what I've led everyone to believe. That you believed it as well is nothing more than a credit to my superb acting ability." He grinned then, and Zell smiled.

"You never said anything, never let on." Zell tucked one hand under his cheek and regarded Irvine with round blue eyes. Irvine pulled his hand back and propped his head up with one fist.

"Do you really have to go through this with me, Zell? Can't you guess? Don't you already know how I've hidden it, why I've hidden it? The sleepless nights, the carefully disguised glances, all of it? Haven't you been doing exactly the same thing for the past four or five years?" His words might have stung had they been delivered in a harsher tone of voice. But they weren't. Irvine's soft, understanding glance told Zell that he knew exactly how it felt, and precisely how much it hurt.

Zell nodded, lashes fluttering once or twice as he composed himself and tamped down hard on the warm feelings that were threatening to rob him of his good sense.

"You're right. You don't have to say it. I already know." He looked up then, blue eyes more intense than Irvine had ever seen them before. "But it doesn't change anything, Irvine. You're still you and I'm still me and I still love Squall Leonhart more than anything else in this world. I can't just turn it off, no matter how much you wish, hells, _I _wish, otherwise."

Irvine nodded, looking entirely too calm for Zell to believe he really felt anything for him at all.

"I don't expect anything less from you, Zell. I know you better than you think I do. And if you'd rolled over for me last night, let me do the things to you that I've been fantasizing about for months, then I would know that you weren't who I thought you were and that I couldn't possibly love you that much after all."

Zell blinked, swallowed, and raised up one elbow to lean closer to Irvine, the pull of his beauty only intensified by the words that he'd offered.

"And so you wait." Zell said, more statement than question and Irvine smiled, nodding slightly.

"Nothing else for me to do. I don't love easily, Zell, regardless of what you've heard about me. Everything will come together eventually. You'll either love me or you won't. And if it's the latter, than I imagine it will be because you and Squall have found your way back to each other."

Zell narrowed his eyes. "And that wouldn't bother you?" 

Irvine chuckled softly, almost able to hear the wheels turning in Zell's head.

"Hells, yes, it would bother me. It would kill me. But you'd be happy, your heart would be whole, and that, to me, is as close to my own happiness as I can get without having you beside me, every single day, for the rest of my life."

Zell took a deep breath, words having deserted him for what was probably the first time in his life, and he favored Irvine with a flirty smile.

"You want me, huh?" Teasing and light, it was his way of letting Irvine know that what had transpired between them would not affect their friendship.

Irvine only scooted closer, licking his lips and staring at Zell with undisguised need. He paused only when they were nose to nose, sharing the same breath, and Irvine watched Zell's eyes widen, and then darken.

"That's something else you shouldn't have to ask." Irvine growled, low and seductive, and before Zell could blink, reached out to grasp the back of his neck, pulling him into an altogether breath-taking kiss that nearly obliterated Zell's conviction.

Irvine angled his head, stroking Zell's tongue with his own, his lips firm, but still so very soft and pliant while his fingers stroked slow, lazy patterns over the tender skin of Zell's neck.

When he drew back they were breathless, eyes mirroring precisely the same shocked expression and Irvine touched his lips, as if to check that they still belonged to him. His heart turned over as he watched Zell's eyes shutter before he offered him a tremulous smile.

"I'll take that as a fair warning." Zell teased, unable to do anything else and Irvine blinked, shaken to his very foundation.

"Take it however you want, and let me know when you've figured it out." He smiled, shaking his head as though to clear his muddled thoughts.

Zell grinned, flashing small, pointed teeth. "Everything okay between us?" He asked, needing reassurance. Irvine reached out to him, touched the tip of his nose.

"Better." He told him, and lay back on the bed, still panting slightly. "Definitely better…"

***

The passing landscape was becoming less and less interesting to Kato and was instead threatening to lull him to sleep. He struggled to keep his eyes open, his mind alert, as he was afraid that if he drifted off, he might miss something.

He turned his shaggy head to glance at Seifer, whose golden head was leaning on Squall's shoulder, his soft, contented whimpers causing an unwelcome wave of nostalgia to rise up in Kato's mind.

Squall turned his blank stare on Kato then and noticed where his gaze was fixed. The Commander's body grew taut and his silvery eyes narrowed, almost as though he knew what Kato was thinking…or rather…remembering.

Squall slid a possessive arm around Seifer's shoulder; his expression quite openly hostile and Kato bit back a grin. Imagine. Commander Leonhart, the human glacier, the fucking Lion of Balamb had all but shoved a flag up Seifer Almasy's ass to stake his claim. How utterly…amusing. Kato almost wished Seifer would wake up to see Squall holding onto him like a jealous girlfriend. On second thought…he'd probably be just as pleased as punch. Scratch that.

"Why'nt you wrap his dick in cotton while he's asleep?" Kato whispered, his lips curling into that irritating smirk that made Squall want to commit Hara-Kiri. Kato blinked innocently, another scathing retort forming on his tongue when he heard the grinding gears of another vehicle approaching and, judging solely by the ear-splitting sound, it was approaching fast.

Kato spun around in his seat, the burnished golden strands of his hair glinting under the sunlight. He looked back at Squall, any hint of teasing chased away by the shuttered, controlled gaze of an assassin. 

"Get down." He shouted, confident that he would be obeyed. He was. Squall slumped down immediately, pulling Seifer tighter against his body as Kato leaned over the both of them, his hand sliding beneath Laguna's seat, searching. 

Laguna barely had time to look over his shoulder before he heard the explosion behind them. Seifer sat up immediately, his eyes hazy and unfocused, his irritation at having his slumber disturbed glaringly obvious.

"What the fuck is going on?" He shouted over the cacophony of noise, surprise giving way to anger as he twisted in his seat in an attempt to get a better look.

Kato immediately shoved him back down, securing his grip on Laguna's machine gun and leaning his back against Kiros' seat. He shot Seifer a dark look and bumped his shoulders against the back of the seat.

"You know exactly what's going on, Knight of mine and you better keep your heads down, both of you, until I tell you otherwise." He didn't await a response and instead glanced over his shoulder at Kiros while he unclipped the shoulder strap from the weapon. "Kiros, I need you to lean forward and give me some room." That said, he popped the clip out of the gun, observing it with an expert eye and snapped it back in, securing it.

Kiros moved closer to Laguna; ready to shield him from gunfire if need be, and allowed Kato to push the seat further up while his finger slid over the button that controlled the window. Squall watched Kato lean his body out of the vehicle, one arm wrapped around the seat's headrest while he pulled himself up and perched in the open window. 

Kato's skyblue eyes narrowed, his smooth, innocent face taking on a completely different expression as he somehow managed to sight his target with the vehicle swerving and bouncing in a wide, uneven path.

"Motherfuckers hit us with a fira. Squall, you better cast. They're not finished." 

Squall nodded and proceeded to cast protect on first Seifer, then Laguna and Kiros. Eyes closed, fingers pressed to his forehead, he murmured words that Seifer couldn't quite make out as the magic wove around them all, protecting them. Squall turned his head slowly, preparing to cast on himself when he realized that Seifer was already forming the words of the spell he'd just cast. That only left…

Kato was firing on the vehicle behind them in short rapid bursts, his aim was faultless, even left handed, and Seifer watched him cling tightly to the side of the vehicle as Laguna went over a dip in the sand a little too fast.

"Sorry, Kato!" He shouted, both hands gripping the wheel while Kiros pressed a steadying hand between his shoulderblades.

Kato nodded once, his movements tight and controlled. "Don't worry about me, just drive." He called back and Seifer moved over to his side, one hand gripping Kato's upper thigh in an iron grip as he attempted to hold him steady.

"Who is it?" He asked, his voice purposely low, but carrying anyway. Kato released his hold on the headrest and cradled the gun in both hands as his eyes darted over the other vehicle's windshield, seeking…

"You know godsdamned well who it is." He bit back, the muscles in his arms constricting as he shouted triumphantly and raised the gun again, cradling it against his ribs as he found his target.

"Daemon…" Seifer breathed, and Kato chuckled. 

"In the flesh."

Squall glanced between them, from Seifer to Kato, and he realized that they shared many secrets. Secrets that Squall was not privy to, and might never be. The thought irritated him, even angered him a bit as he wondered when and if Seifer would finally be ready to confide in him.

The blinding flash of another fire spell had their vehicle rocking forward again as Laguna pressed the gas pedal to the floor and swerved to the right in a wide curve.

"The girls are with him." Kato shouted back to Seifer. "I'll try not to hit them." Squall stayed pressed against the door, behind Laguna, everything happening entirely too fast for him to get a handle on what he could possibly do to help in this instance, and so he did as Kato had asked and kept his head down. Seifer held Kato steady, the muscles bunching in his arms and across his back as he fought to hold the other blonde steady.

Kato ducked inside then, still sitting on the door, but with his upperbody back in the vehicle.

"Bastards are shooting at me." He panted and held his hand out for another clip. Kiros handed one to him wordlessly, watching the vehicle careening up toward them on the right.

"Kato. They're moving in." He told him, low and ominous. Kato nodded once and tossed the spent clip out of the window, popping the new one in. 

"This won't take long." He promised, and then he was back outside the vehicle, hoisting himself up on one knee and taking aim. His eyes met those that he sought, as black and as empty as death and Kato felt the longtime rage surging through his body.

"Hope you kissed your mommy goodbye this morning, you motherfucker." Mumbled though it was, Seifer heard it, and he closed his eyes as he felt Kato's body tense. All he could hear after that was the staccato rhythm of the machine gun and a series of explosions. And then Kato yelped, and Seifer felt the taut muscles go lax almost immediately. _Fuck_…

"They got him, Seifer, pull him back in, he's been hit!" Kiros shouted, panic straining his voice and Squall looked back, watching the vehicle fall back as a man's body slumped half out of the driver's window.

"He got him, Seifer. The driver's down. I don't see anyone but the twins in there." Squall informed him, watching in near disgust as Vema leaned over, opened the door and nudged the driver out, letting his lifeless body roll out of the vehicle and onto the desert sand.

She slid into the driver's seat gracefully, spinning the vehicle around in a smooth, wide circle, headed fast in the opposite direction just as quickly as they'd appeared. Squall watched, unable to tear his eyes away, as Sanura pushed open the hatch at the top of their vehicle and leaned out, seemingly unfazed by the fact that Kato had been firing down on them for the past two miles.

She waved at Squall, a flirty, self-assured little wave, and blew him a kiss as the vehicle disappeared over the horizon. He could almost swear he heard her wicked little laugh as they faded from sight and he looked slowly over to Seifer, quicksilver eyes meeting jade ones and the sight that greeted him made him feel as though his chest had been hollowed out.

Kato's lithe, compact frame was draped over Seifer's lap. His head back, his arms dangling loosely, his eyes closed. And his lifeblood was draining out of his body and onto Seifer with each beat of his heart. 

Squall swallowed, shock silencing him as he shook his head, recognizing the fear in Seifer's eyes as he blinked rapidly, disbelief and shock misting his eyes as he looked pleadingly at Squall and whispered, just once, "Help me…"

Long, rambling A/N…

So…this took forever, and I'm well aware of that. It's Zell's fault. He refused to lie down and cooperate. And he and Seifer kept sneaking off behind the set to make out. And Kato kept complaining that he might fall out of the moving vehicle.

Seifer: *crossing his arms over his chest and glaring at Pix* You've no one to blame except yourself.

Zell: *crossing his arms over his chest and sidling up to Seifer* Well, and thXineko…

Kato: *pinching Zell's butt and looking innocent* I want a raise. And a pool.

But…I managed to pull it off, I think. I hope. Not real sure who Zell will end up with at this point. I can't give him Seifer, well, at least not in this one…so…I'm working on it. Any requests? Kind of kinky that he and Kato look so much alike, hmm? *grin* And Kato's ego is becoming big enough to tie to a basket and fly us all across the Atlantic. He does love all the attention, the little foul mouthed heathen. I'm going to let Seshat handle the specifics of his fan-club. She spends way too much time roleplaying and could use a diversion. :D

Ryu Aka ~ Thanks for the good wishes, my plotbunnies are multiplying and hiding under Zell and Seifer's bed. But I wasn't supposed to tell anyone about that…

Anti-gravity ~ I will say that there is going to be a plot twist. I just can't say when and how long it will take to get it written. Seb's retribution will come in a quite unexpected form, though.

Darklight ~ Thanks for the praise…I think Kato's the only one standing between us and tons and tons of angst.

Minaphobic ~ I'm glad I could amuse you…Kiros has been cursing me since chapter 11. But I think it's good for him. I'm definitely taking the story to Garden, but I thought it'd be nice for the boys to enjoy the car trip a little longer first.

Pyro ~ Sure, you offer to spank him, now…but he's been feeling quite neglected by you of late. You'll have to make amends. *grin* Or we can just share some ice cream and call it even. 

Race ~ Okay…I updated. And you just *had* to make that 'late' comment, didn'tcha? :P I'm amazed I get any writing done at all with the amount of time I spend in the house that Byron built.

Whyte Mind ~ Who do you think trained Kato? :P

Xi ~ I'm working on Zell's happy ending this very minute…but then, when *aren't* I considering how to make Zelly happy? 

Azora, Laughingwolfgirl, Sardius, Seshat ~ thanks for following along. I appreciate all the love J 

Astraea, DarkSquall, Demon's Gate ~ Oh, I was going to thank you for reviewing but then I realized that you HADN'T. *sweet smile* Okay, I'm just kidding…don't get all huffy.


	16. Chapter Sixteen

****

Nothing Else Matters

Trust I seek and I find in you

Every day for us something new

Open mind for a different view

…and nothing else matters

Zell stood at the window, one hand splayed against the glass, looking out but seeing nothing, really. 

Quistis watched him, her heart aching for him, but unable to offer any consolation, for she, too, knew what he would have to endure over the next few days. She had no illusions when it came to Squall and Seifer, even when she was younger and fancied herself in love with the both of them. Deep in her heart, she knew that one day, they would realize what they felt for one another was the furthest thing from hate that existed.

And now, Zell, who had imagined that Squall would finally be his when Seifer had vanished, was going to have to come to terms with the fact that Seifer Almasy was coming home. And this time, Quistis doubted that Squall would let him go a second time.

"Zell." Quiet, knowing. She saw his shoulders lift in a silent sigh.

"Yeah." She heard the underlying sullenness in his voice, no matter how he fought to conceal it.

"Are you all right?" She asked, her tone solicitous, but careful.

He laughed, a short, self-deprecating sound.

"Never better, Instructor Trepe, never better…"

She moved over to his side, boots clicking sharply on the gleaming tile, and stood quite close to him, wanting to touch him in some way, but not wanting to intrude.

"I'm sorry, Zell. I know how you must feel." She tilted her head, one golden lock falling against her shoulder as she watched his hand slide down the glass.

"I know you do, Quis. I just…never thought we'd see him again, you know? And now, suddenly, he's coming back and I don't how I'm going to react to being next to him again."

She nodded, resting one hand lightly on Zell's shoulder. She glanced down then, taking in the sight of Zell in his uniform. 

"You look wonderful." She whispered, squeezing his shoulder slightly. He turned his head then, and smiled that bright, infectious smile that always reminded Quistis that no matter what happened, tomorrow carried the promise of a better day. Zell's optimism, so bright and untarnished, would see him through the days to come. _And so will I,_ she vowed silently.

"Thanks Quis. I just wish I didn't feel so damned nervous…so apprehensive."

She nodded again, watching some of the lower classmen out on the field, playing soccer in the sun's remaining light.

"I suppose it's selfish to wish he'd just stayed away…" She conceded.

Zell turned to face her then, blinking and looking puzzled.

"I never really wanted him to stay away. I'm glad he's alive. I'm glad he's okay. Hells, I'm even glad he's coming home. I worried about him too, you know…I only wish his return didn't mean the end of whatever Squall felt for me."

Quistis reached out and brushed an imaginary speck of lint from the epaulettes at Zell's shoulder.

"Your time will come Zell. You're the best person I know, the most noble, giving…" She broke off then, smiling at the heated blush spreading up Zell's neck and over the sweet angle of his cheekbones.

"Well," she continued, "What I mean to say is that eventually, probably when you expect it the least, you're going to meet someone who will realize how wonderful you are. And this will all seem so insignificant to you then."

Zell smiled, still blushing slightly, and hugged Quistis tight.

"Thanks, Quisty. I appreciate that."

And when he released her, rubbing her back as he drew away slowly, he turned back to the window, sighing heavily.

"Gonna be hell convincing the rest of Garden that Seifer's not going to kill them all while they sleep." 

Quistis laughed softly, turning her gaze on one of the cadets as he streaked past a line of other players to make quite an impressive goal.

"I won't know how to act around him either, if you must know. It will be strange…"

Zell grinned at her impishly. "Try to keep that whip under control, hm? It wouldn't look good for the Sorceress' Knight to be hauled off to the infirmary on his first day back."

Quistis managed to look affronted as she planted her fists on her hips.

"My self-control is infinite, Zell Dincht. Even around Seifer Almasy."

Zell laughed, stepping back a pace or two as he shook his finger at her in warning.

"And no kissing him, either. No matter how dashing he looks."

Quistis gasped then, slapping out at Zell playfully as he feinted left and ducked her hand, laughing and taunting as she chased him out into the hallway, ordering him back.

***

He fought the way he did everything in his life, precise and systematic. People were often fooled into thinking that Squall was the one with the driving purpose and the will of steel. But it wasn't. It was Seifer. It had always been Seifer. 

Squall watched him battle the Chimera with no apprehension whatsoever. Seifer's attacks were methodical and well placed. The loose line of his shirt clung to him when he moved too suddenly or when he turned to face the breeze. Squall stood, immobile, and simply watched, content to watch him move, to be assured, once again, that Seifer was alive and he was _his._

"One wonders why he doesn't cast Holy on it, or perhaps even summon Alexander and be done with it."" Kiros' low, cultured voice came from behind Squall, startling him slightly although he gave no outward appearance of it. Nor did he respond, for he knew Kiros wasn't simply asking him a question. Kiros, Gods save him, was trying to _Make A Point_.

Taking Squall's silence to mean that he was, in fact, listening, Kiros brought a long elegant cigarette to his lips and drew deeply, blowing the smoke from the corner of his mouth in that irritatingly elegant way of his. 

"One might also wonder why he didn't simply cast on Kato himself today while he held him, practically lifeless, in his arms. Does that not make you curious, young prince?"

Squall glanced at him then, his eyebrows drawn in irritation, before turning his attention back to Seifer, who was at that moment running toward the Chimera and swinging his gunblade upwards in a clean, sweeping arc. 

"No, Kiros, it does not make me curious. Why wonder about anything when I have you to explain life's mysteries to me?" He asked lightly, the sarcasm only thinly veiled.

Kiros smiled faintly, knowing he'd enjoy baiting Squall if the matter at hand were not a serious one.

"Besides," Squall went on, hating the way he felt it necessary to justify Seifer's actions to someone else. Hating the fact that he had wondered exactly the same thing even as he'd cast Cura after Cura, layering the spells carefully so as not to shock Kato's system with the unfamiliar healing magic. "He cast on me today, in the vehicle, while I cast Protect on the rest of you." He wanted to deliver that with the smugness that it deserved, but he just couldn't ignore the tiny niggling doubt in the back of his own mind.

Kiros remained silent for the briefest of moments as he watched Seifer lean forward slightly, raise his gunblade, and catch his limit break. Squall's breath caught as he watched the power swirl around Seifer, the fire spell hitting the Chimera, knocking it back several feet before he rushed it again, vanquishing it with an impressive swing of his gunblade. The beast shuddered once and its image began wavering even before the flames had completely faded. Kiros must have made some small noise of appreciation, because Squall glanced back at him, a small, prideful smile hovering on his beautiful mouth for the briefest of seconds before he'd turned his attention back to his lover, who was leaning on his gunblade to catch his breath.

"Magnificent." Kiros remarked, his tone purposefully neutral. Squall wrapped his arms around his lithe frame and smiled to himself, secretly sharing Kiros' sentiments.

"His limit break…what's it called?" Kiros inquired lightly.

"Fire cross." Squall breathed, even before Kiros had finished giving voice to his inquiry. Even after all that happened, and through all that had kept them apart, Seifer still had the power to inspire an awe in him that left him breathless.

"Interesting, though, that he has the power to hit his limit break when he can't cast a simple Cura…don't you think?" Kiros asked lightly, flicking his cigarette away and laying a hand on Squall's shoulder. Squall resisted the urge to shake him off.

"Ignore me if you wish, little lion, but I know you're questioning it, questioning him, even as you stand there with your little heart pounding against your ribs. Something's not right with Seifer Almasy and you know it. I just don't want you to find out what it is when the stakes are down and you need him the most."

Squall did shrug Kiros' hand off then, and turned to face him, his eyes glittering and cold.

"I thought you were his champion, Kiros. Now here you are warning me away." His voice was low and urgent, his anger at odds with his incredible restraint.

"Not warning you away. Just warning you, period. His secrets could cost you…us…our lives. Tread carefully." And he turned then, disappearing under the awning of the small inn they'd been forced to take refuge at until the morning. Squall sighed, watching him go, most likely to check on Kato once more before retiring for the evening. While he hated to lend credence to the suspicions that Kiros had only seconded, Squall had to admit that the panic he'd seen in Seifer's eyes when Kato had been unconscious and bleeding had thrown him. Why had he panicked? Why hadn't he simply cast on Kato himself? What was he hiding?

Seifer's arm wrapping around his waist and pulling him close brought him back to the here and now like nothing else could and he relaxed against him, leaning back against his lover's sweat-dampened body. Seifer lowered his face to the curve of Squall's neck and kissed him there, the lightest of caresses, before turning him around and grinning down at him, his green eyes still bright with victory.

"You were watching me?" A strange question, when he had to know the answer.

"Yes." Squall answered, swaying closer when Seifer leaned his gunblade against one of the inn's columns and framed Squall's face with his hands.

"I could feel you." He murmured before slowly lowering his head and brushing his lips softly over Squall's. 

Squall moaned, a soft, entreating sound as the heat and power of Seifer's body rushed over him with the same suffocating humidity of the desert wind and he slid his hands up Seifer's chest to twine around his neck. Seifer's arms wound around Squall's waist with a startling familiarity, and he lifted him up, further into the kiss.

"Squall…." He whispered, his voice no more than a whisper and Squall found himself responding in the most logical way he knew. With his body. His arms tightened around Seifer's neck as he lifted his legs to wrap them loosely around the backs of Seifer's thighs, earning him the pleasure of hearing Seifer breathing his name so reverently, Squall thought he might get down on his knees and worship him in truth.

"I want you." He breathed, the husky timbre of his voice combined with the altogether entrancing scent of his sweat-slick skin almost enough to sweep Squall's mind free of any doubts he might harbor. Almost.

"Seifer." He spoke his name urgently, the shivery whisper of desire hiding behind the sharper bite of reason.

"Mmmhmm," Seifer murmured, nuzzling against the soft skin of Squall's neck, his hands beginning their slow, searching exploration down the length of his back.

"No. Seifer." Sharper than he had intended, but effective nonetheless as Seifer was pulling back slightly, his eyes questioning, suspicious.

"What is it?" He practically whispered, that damned green gaze seeking and confused. 

"I…want to ask you something." He said honestly, seeing no reason to launch a full-scale inquisition on a man who was, at that very moment, pressing his not-so-subtle erection into the softness of Squall's thigh.

"Go ahead," He granted, his eyes sweeping the length of Squall's body, "But make it quick."

Squall slid out of his grasp until he felt his feet touching solid ground again. Seifer stepped back, straightening his shirt and smoothing it down as he leaned against one spare column.

"What's wrong, Squall?" He asked casually, his apparent calm not fooling Squall for a second; he heard the apprehension beneath his words clearly. Seifer blinked once and then tensed slightly.

"Is Kato all right?" He asked, concern tainting his words, quite ruining the casual pose he'd assumed. Squall nodded, quick to reassure him.

"He's sleeping. Laguna fed him another chocolate and peanut butter sundae and tucked him into bed."

Seifer's lips twitched, imagining the little heathen milking it for all it was worth. Hyne only knew what Laguna had had to do to get a sundae in this out of the way place, but he'd done it. And in so doing, had won him Kato's eternal devotion. Well, at least, until someone brought him something even tastier and made him forget all about the declarations of undying worship he'd spouted previously.

"He was walking around earlier until Laguna shooed him back to bed." Squall paused, seeming pensive. "You know, if I didn't know better, I'd swear he was only trying to garner sympathy."

Seifer laughed then, the deep, rich sound that had the ability to send shivers up Squall's spine.

"You do know better. He's going to ride this thing all the way to Balamb, you just wait and see." He shook his head, imagining what the trip across the sea would most likely entail.

"Speaking of which, our ship departs tomorrow morning at 0800 hours. We should get some rest while we can."

Seifer nodded. "Just needed to work off a little steam, that's all. Was too hyped up to sleep."

Squall inclined his head, the smallest of acknowledgements, and moved to retrieve Seifer's gunblade, hefting it easily and handing it over. Seifer grasped it with a small frown of confusion, resting it over his shoulder as he waited for Squall to get to the point.

"You let it wear you down to get your limit break." He stated, not phrasing it as a question. 

Seifer shrugged, going for nonchalance. "Yeah, so? Like you've never done it?" He sounded defensive, and that never boded well.

Squall shook his head. "Done it plenty of times. But only when it was necessary to keep myself and my teammates alive. You did it just for the sheer pleasure of overkill. You toyed with it until you grew weary of the game. And then you bottomed out. Why?"

Seifer's eyes narrowed, that flash of jade letting Squall know that he didn't appreciate the interrogation. "You'd rather I let it kill me?" He spat.

Squall shrugged. "Why would it kill you? Couple of Holy spells and it would've been all over."

Seifer took a deep breath, knowing immediately where this was heading.

"You want to know why I didn't cast." He stated, his stance relaxing slightly as he watched Squall's eyes.

"Yes." Squall answered, knowing better than to mince words with Seifer Almasy.

"You also want to know why I didn't cast on Kato when he was hit today." 

Squall nodded. "The thought did cross my mind."

Seifer crossed his ankles, leaned his gunblade over his other shoulder and raised his eyebrows.

"Don't you even want to guess first? You want me to just tell you?" Seifer asked, most probably stalling for time.

Squall moved toward him, then, one hand splayed over Seifer's chest while he looked up at him, his features set in determination.

"This is me you're talking to, Seifer. I deserve your honesty as I've given no less to you."

Seifer sighed, abandoning his arrogant stance and averting his eyes briefly as he watched the sands scatter across the dune.

"I can't cast, Squall. At all. It's gone." He sounded defeated and Squall sighed, wishing, for just a moment, that he'd let his suspicions pass. If he'd kept his mouth shut he'd most likely be, at that very moment, in bed with Seifer, pressed close to his body and content. But he hadn't. And this is what he deserved for letting Kiros plant seeds of unrest in his mind.

"Gone?" He asked disbelieving, need more than that.

Seifer looked up then, his eyes hard and defensive, and Squall knew he'd opened the floodgates on an issue that should never have come to light, tonight, at least.

"I can't cast, I can't draw, I can't junction. I'm empty, Squall. And it's just that simple." And then he turned his back, the hostility radiating off of him, and stalked into the inn, leaving Squall standing behind him with his mind full of questions and his heart full of conflict.

***

"Better?" Laguna asked as he tucked the blankets up around Kato's chin, smoothing his hair back as he smiled down at him.

Kato nodded rapidly, blinking innocently and watched Laguna practically melting. Never let it be said that Kato didn't know how to win friends and influence people. Not to mention his uncanny ability to look incredibly pitiful.

"I think I'll be all right, Laguna, after a few hours of rest." He practically whispered, emitting a strained cough in the process.

Laguna patted Kato's hand and smiled indulgently at him. "If you need anything, anything at all…you just knock on the wall, okay? I'm right next door." He paused then, and, almost as an afterthought, "Perhaps I should just stay in here tonight."

Kato grinned, watching Laguna's classic profile as he had another conversation with himself. 

"I don't think that will be necessary." Squall intoned, leaning against the doorframe, hand on his hip. Kato scowled. Laguna turned slightly, glancing up at Squall from his seat beside Kato's bed.

"I'm afraid to leave him alone. What happens if he can't reach the wall?" 

Squall rolled his eyes. "Kato, stretch your arms over your head."

Kato, very slowly and dramatically, made a big show of carefully reaching over his head toward the wall. He pulled his arm back with a small grimace when he'd apparently reached too far and Laguna was immediately leaning over him, murmuring softly and running skilled fingers over Kato's side.

_Oh, for Hyne's sake…_

"Laguna. Seifer and I will check on him during the night, I promise. We all need to get some rest now, including Kato." Squall shot Kato a look that stated, unequivocally, that he knew what he was up to. Kato simply smiled sweetly, fluttering his eyelashes adorably.

Squall shook his head, unable to muster up much sympathy for the brat when there was nothing really wrong with him other than a couple of sore ribs and a serious case of hurt feelings. And while he was wasting time in here with Laguna and his newest stray, Seifer was most likely in their room, brooding and alone. _Dammit._

Laguna moved Kato's small pitcher of ice water nearer to the edge of his nightstand and smiled at him one more time, as though reassuring himself that the little sycophant wasn't going to kick off in the middle of the night. Squall began to tap the toe of his boot against the floor, which was carpeted, so no one heard could really hear it. And _that _annoyed him, as well. 

"Laguna." A warning. Laguna looked over at Squall, hunching his shoulders apologetically, and offering his son a sheepish smile as he rose from his place beside Kato and turned off the overhead light. The soft cast from the little night light beside the bed made Kato appear to be about twelve years old. _Wait a minute…a night light? I've seen it all now…_

"Try to sleep Kato. We still have some distance to travel tomorrow, and being tossed about on the sea probably won't help matters much." Laguna spoke to him soothingly, quietly. Squall rolled his eyes again.

"I will, Laguna. Thank you for taking such wonderful care of me…" He sounded like a Boy Scout. Squall was perilously close to vomiting. He hadn't seen such a fine display of acting since Selphie ate too much and greatly exaggerated her discomfort so Irvine would lie down with her and rub her belly until she fell asleep.

"Oh, honey, you're welcome. Now, remember, just knock on the wall if you need me." He repeated and Kato nodded, his eyes widening as he caught his bottom lip between small, even teeth.

Laguna turned to face Squall, smiling at him, his expression slightly sappy. Kato waited until Laguna's back was turned, glanced at Squall…and winked.

*****

Squall stood outside the room he was to share with Seifer, making no move to open the door and just step inside. While he couldn't be certain that Seifer had returned to the room after he'd walked away from him earlier, Squall reasoned that he really had nowhere else to go.

He pressed one gloved hand to the unyielding barrier and paused, exhaling slowly, wondering if he really had it in him to question Seifer further. It was getting late, Squall was getting tired, and he was as unsure of himself as he'd ever been of Seifer. 

Bowing his head, bracing himself for the silence he was sure to get when he crossed the threshold, Squall turned the doorknob, found it unlocked, and opened the door.

It took him only a few seconds for his eyes to adjust to the darkness, to locate Seifer. He sat next to the open window, the slight breeze stirring the blonde hairs that brushed his forehead, the evening's fading light dancing over the brightness of his hair, doing nothing to conceal his loneliness, for Squall felt it immediately, an almost tangible thing.

He stepped inside, closing the door quietly behind him, leaned against the door, knowing that Seifer had heard him and had not bothered to turn and acknowledge his presence. Squall watched, riveted, as Seifer raised his head and the light of the full moon arced across his aristocratic features, bathing him in pale, white perfection. Squall's breath hitched, his fists clenched, his belly tightened, all in response to Seifer's parted lips, the graceful line of his throat. 

_My rival…my lover…my heart…Mine._

"Seifer." He breathed; knowing Seifer would hear him, although his voice was lost in the stirring breeze. Seifer's eyes slid closed and he bowed his head again, slowly, before turning his shuttered gaze on Squall.

"I'm sorry." He said, whispered, actually. He still hadn't moved. 

"No." Squall interjected. "Don't." _Don't apologize to me, Seifer. Not anymore_.

Seifer glanced out the window, to the slight swaying of trees he could just barely make out in the distance, knowing the sea was lurking close behind them. 

His lips turned up in a small, half-smile, his face partially hidden by shadow.

"It's been so long. Since I've seen the sea." His voice was wistful, musing. Squall swallowed, knowing that whatever came next would not be comforting. 

"Tomorrow." He promised, not knowing what else to say. Seifer wasn't speaking to have his words confirmed. He didn't require a response, not from Squall. 

"I was telling you the truth, Squall. Earlier. It's all gone."

Squall nodded, though Seifer wasn't looking at him. He wanted to tell him that it didn't matter, that there were things they could do, avenues they could explore…but Seifer wasn't after reassurance. Not this time.

"I believe you." 

Seifer turned then, moving out of the light, the intensity of his eyes obscured by shadow.

"I don't know if I can get it back." Low, insistent…angry.

"I know."

He stood then, clad only in his gray pants; the belt unbuckled and hanging open as his shadow fell across the bed. And then, so quietly as to almost have been imagined, a low, tortured whisper.

"Tell me it doesn't matter." His eyes searched the darkness, seeking Squall's gaze, his cognizance. Squall moved away from the door then, crossing the floor silently, fluidly, to stand before Seifer, inches apart, as he lifted his face to the light.

"It doesn't matter."

Squall watched Seifer's eyes slide closed again, in sweet relief or an even more unbearable pain, he couldn't tell. He didn't care. He would take it all away, whatever name he gave it.

Seifer reached for him then, drawing him into the protective circle of his embrace as he pulled him close and simply clung. 

"Nothing else matters…nothing else but _this_." Squall whispered against Seifer's chest, his lips moving against smooth skin, cool from the night air, his heart pounding beneath his ribs.

"I hope you're right." He answered, and bent his head to Squall's, the dread weighing heavily in the pit of his belly dissipating somewhat as he brushed his lips over Squall's.

Squall wrapped his arms around Seifer's waist, linking his fingers behind the solid wall of his back as Seifer's hands tightened on Squall's upper arms. His belt buckles pressed against Squall's belly, digging into his skin through the thin barrier of his t-shirt. He moaned softly when Seifer's tongue slid over his own and he moved one hand to whip the belt from the loops of his pants, savoring a small thrill of satisfaction when Seifer hissed softly.

He tugged impatiently at the buttons of Seifer's pants, wanting him to be naked, wanting to be naked against him. 

Seifer grasped his wrists gently, raising them over his head and then tugged his t-shirt off slowly, watching, entranced, as inch by inch, Squall's skin was revealed to him. He brought the t-shirt to his lips briefly, closing his eyes and inhaling the warm, musky scent of Squall's body and then opening his eyes again. He gazed down at Squall, riveted by his mouth, his pale, parted lips.

"Beautiful." He whispered, his words carrying the faintest hint of surprise, as though he hadn't realized it before that moment. When, of course, he had.

Squall ducked his head, his cheeks flushed. Seifer hooked one finger beneath his chin and lifted it until Squall met his eyes again.

"You are. You always have been."

Squall reached up then, laying his palm against Seifer's cheek, brushing his thumb over his cheekbone. Seifer's eyes closed slowly and he sighed softly. 

"I love you." Squall murmured, just loud enough for Seifer to hear him. He lay his hand over Squall's and opened his eyes.

"Don't ever stop." He whispered, entreating.

Squall wanted to tell him, in great detail, how he'd rather die than be without him again. How he'd sacrifice anything and everything to keep him close, keep him safe, but as he parted his lips to speak the words, Seifer lowered his head and pressed his lips to Squall's. And everything else simply ceased to exist. He was lost…again.

*****

Zell: *sighing* That waths thso moving, thSeifer…

Seifer: *manages to look unabashed* Well…it was mostly Squall's doing. He's very talented, you know.

Zell: *wicked grin(with fangs)* Yeths, I know.

Squall: *closes his eyes* I can't take this much longer.

Kato: Uh, guys? Has anybody seen my Pikachu?

Azora ~ As you can see, the heathen is fine. Even if I'd killed him, I'd have had to bring him back…I can't do without Brian and Justin ^_^

Darksquall ~ *blush* You flatter me! Keep doing it. :P Never fear, Nik, Kato's still around. He hasn't had Ashby and Raven at the same time yet.

DemonRyu ~ I hope I continue to live up to your expectations. And even if I don't, I can always score brownie points with pointless Veggie smut. And there's always Seifer/Selphie…o.O

PyroManiac ~ I just went to the store, Sammyface. And you know *exactly* what kind of ice cream I bought J Just for you. Now give some to poor neglected Kato. *snicker*

Saris ~ Thank you so much for the praise! I'm glad you're enjoying it thus far. Laguna will eventually have to see the light, and as for who Zell ends up with…well…it's a surprise…

Race ~ I'm glad you like my titles. Well, the ones that actually belong to me, anyway ^_^ And no way could I kill off Kato. *hugs Kato* I'd miss him! And you're right, he does still have a beating coming to him. And worry not, he'll have someone too…If it weren't for yours and Rain'subtle hints, I probably wouldn't have finished this chapter til December. Thanks for the snide remarks about slacking. I know you're really talking about Xi. *whistles innocently*

Ryu Aka ~ Thanks for following along, makes me feel quite loved. And of course he lives! I couldn't kill of my little angel! Sorry this took so long…I've been slacking.

Demon's Gate ~ I can't believe it! You went back just to review this chapter. *melts* Whatta pal. And Kato will be very bratty…er…bouncy…in the next chapter. Wheeee!

Title belongs to the Metallicats, boys belong to Square. Appearance of lisping Zell courtesy of Xineko. Dammit. I own nothing!

Kato and Seifer: *glare* 

Pix: oh. Heh.


	17. Chapter Seventeen

          The Greatest View 

            _I'm watching you watch over me_

_            And I've got…the greatest view from here_

            Even after months of being unable to seek the comfort and familiarity of the sea, the briny scent was something his heart remembered well.  Lifting his face to the sun, his eyes closed as he breathed the sea air into his lungs, Seifer took notice of no one as he immersed himself in the unmistakable feeling of freedom.

            Squall's expression was much the same as it always was, but his heart was light and he was as close to carefree as he'd been in years despite what lay ahead for the lot of them.  Laguna and Kiros walked ahead, looking back every so often to make sure the younger men were following along.  Kiros was attentive, observant, completely focused on Laguna and on their surroundings, alert, as always, to the slightest hint of danger.  

            Seifer shouldered the bag that he and Squall shared.  The small travel bag that contained the few necessities Laguna insisted they would need.  Squall had taken the bag from his father, nodding and smiling, and as soon as Seifer had closed the door behind the President, Squall had set about removing over half the bag's contents.

            "Sunscreen?"  He'd looked up at Seifer, clearly confused as to why Laguna imagined they might take time out to sunbathe.

            Seifer had paused, looking away from mirror as he slicked his hair back, and winked at Squall.  "Doubles as a lube." Squall had flushed a dull red and given Seifer 'the look', choosing to end the conversation on that note.  Seifer had noticed, however, that the sunscreen had somehow managed to make the final cut.  It had taken all the restraint he possessed not to comment on that.

            And now, Squall walked beside him, his purposeful stride unknowingly confident, made stronger again with his lover by his side.                    

            "I've missed the sea."  He told Squall, favoring him with a private, easy smile.  Squall kept his eyes trained on the back of his father and Kiros, the smile in his eyes hidden behind the sunglasses he wore.  

            "I'm sure you didn't miss the smell of the docks, though, did you?"

            Seifer chuckled, his gaze landing on a scruffy looking man who chose that particular moment to lean over the rope and barf up his breakfast, which had most likely consisted of at least half a bottle of Wild Turkey.

            "It's nice to be see normal sights again, actually."  He turned his head away from the barrage of smells that assaulted him from a small fish market right off the docks.  "No matter how disgusting they are."

            Squall grinned, about to comment, when a small, terrified mewling sound wafted toward him on the breeze.  He glanced over, only mildly interested at first before he heard a man's voice, angry and threatening, and then the muffled sounds of a child crying.  That got his attention.  He stopped walking and stood, hipshot, his head angled slightly and Seifer was immediately riveted.  "What is it?"

            Squall took a tentative step toward the pile of boxes and then glanced back at Seifer.  "You didn't hear that?"

            Seifer shrugged.  "What, that cat?"

            Kato sauntered up behind him then, his fingers curled into claws and he scratched at Seifer's back, making little hissing sounds.

            Seifer elbowed him in annoyance, his ears strained for any hint as to what may have drawn Squall's attention.

            "No.  The child."  He answered, oblivious to Kato's typical lack of solemnity.  He headed toward the sounds, hand on his gunblade, not really sure of the reason behind his sudden apprehension, only knowing that his instincts had never led him astray.  He didn't have to look back to see if Seifer followed.  He already knew that he would.

            He heard the sound of wood splintering, followed by a small whimper.  Squall drew nearer to see the source of the crying.  A young girl, maybe thirteen years old or so, cowered against a large wooden crate, her face obscured by a cloud of pale, tangled hair.  Her shoulders shook with silent sobs and she clutched a tiny kitten to her chest, its pitiful mewling sure to give her away before her sobbing did.  A man lumbered into Squall's line of vision then, big and unkempt, his heavily lined faced shiny with sweat and creased with annoyance.

            "Ya come out of there, ya little bastard!  And ya hand over that damned cat!"     

            The girl shook her head wildly, her hair spreading over her shoulders, streaked with dirt and wet with her own tears.  

            "No…please…it's just a baby, please don't hurt it."  Her voice was soft and faint with fear, but surprisingly low for a girl.

            Her assailant only laughed and the sound turned Squall's stomach.  The ugly bastard was taking enormous pleasure in the child's fear.  There was nothing Squall detested more than a bully.  It brought the frightened child in himself back to life.  He hated that.

            "What I'm gonna do to that nasty ol' animal aint nothin' compared t'what I'ma do to you when I git my hands on ya iffen you don't get out here right now."

            The girl turned then, trying to push aside the heavy crate to create a small enough space for the kitten to escape through.  Not fast enough, though, as the man reached over and grabbed her by the back of her hair, pulling her head back and exposing her long, pale throat.  She raised wide violet eyes to Squall's, who bent quickly to retrieve the terrified kitten.  It was a baby.  So tiny that it's eyes were as yet unopened.  The girl stared unblinkingly at Squall, resignation dull in her eyes even as tears streaked down her cheeks and Squall's other hand clenched, the leather tightening around his fingers, his teeth ground together in anger.  He took a step forward only to be halted by Seifer's hand on his arm.

            "No.  You stay here."  

            Squall nodded, hanging back and watching Seifer stride forward, hands clenched at his sides.  Squall knew that tone, he knew that stride.  Seifer would handle it.

            Kato climbed onto one of the crates and watched, eagerly awaiting the opportunity to jump in and kick a little ass.

            The man looked up as Seifer approached, eyes immediately alight with recognition as he watched the Sorceress' knight draw near.  A myriad of emotions played over his face and he let the girl slide to the floor as he began to back away.  Seifer never faltered, stepping over the girl as his fingers curled around the man's collar, lifting him slightly.

            "You like picking on little girls, asshole?"  He asked conversationally.  The man shook his head, sweating freely now as he glanced around wildly, looking for any avenue of escape.  "No…I…" He stammered, and Seifer tightened his grip, his fingers tight against the man's throat.

            Kato slinked up behind Seifer, dagger drawn, his lips turned up in a welcome smile, eyes bright with excitement.   He laid his blade beneath the man's ear and looked up at Seifer, eager with bloodlust.

            "Let me have him, Seifer.  I'll take him somewhere quiet."  He was practically purring as he pressed his body to Seifer's, his eyes entreating.

            Squall stood, transfixed for a moment as he watched them together.  And Kiros' words came back to him, reminding him that Seifer could kill without remorse and he knew without a doubt that Kato had helped him do it.  He seemed to relish the thought of killing the man, and while Squall couldn't fault him as he was of a similar mind, he would find no pleasure in torturing him, watching him die slowly.  

            The girl coughed then, and tried to gain her feet, feeling along the wooden planks for something to grasp onto.  The kitten cradled against his chest, Squall knelt before her, offering her his hand.  She grabbed his hand, uncertainty written in her hauntingly beautiful eyes and Squall smiled at her, that sweet disarming smile that not many people ever saw.  

            "Come on, I won't hurt you."  He promised her and when she drew nearer, he looked up to see Seifer smash his fist into the man's face, his voice low and angry.  Squall couldn't make out his words but didn't miss the intensity of his glare.  Kato was speaking to him, his words muffled by the wind and Squall looked down again as the girl moved into his arms, reaching for her kitten with a faint whisper.  "…please."

            When next he looked up, Seifer had dropped the man, who fell heavily against the stacked crates, blubbering like the coward that he was.  Seifer turned away, shaking his head in disgust.  He locked eyes with Squall as he made his way back toward him, his jade stare still burning with barely restrained fury.  Squall heard the man scream then, a thin, shrill sound that didn't quite last an entire breath.  Squall supposed he should feel some guilt for the little thrill of satisfaction that such a sound wrought in him but when he looked down at the frightened little thing beside him, he couldn't.  Seifer paused by his side, going down on one knee before the girl, who cowered at the very sight of him.

            "No…" She whispered and began crawling backward, away from Seifer, her pants pulling tight in her haste.  And that's when Squall realized that she wasn't a she.  She was a boy.  A very pretty, fragile, terrified boy.  One who knew Seifer on sight.  He backed away further until he bumped right against Kato's legs.  Hhe looked up, watched him lick the blood from the point of his dagger.  Kato grinned and licked his bottom lip.

            "Hey there, beautiful."  He purred.  The boy blinked and looked around at the three of them.  And then he fainted.          

"I think he's waking up."  Laguna told Kiros with a sweet, almost excited smile.  Kiros pushed away from where he'd been leaning against the wall and made his way to Laguna's bed.  The little blonde was stirring.  He made small, whimpering noises that put Kiros immediately in mind of a restless kitten.  His hair was tangled and his face streaked with dirt, his long lashes nothing more than smudges beneath his eyes.  

            "He's going to need a bath."  Kiros said, moving closer to Laguna and turning his head to watch the expression on his friend's face.  He had that familiar sappy look firmly in place.  Laguna had found another stray, Hyne help them all.

            The boy stirred again, licked his pale lips as he scrubbed at his eyes.

            "Cinder?"  He murmured as he struggled to sit upright.  Laguna smoothed the boy's hair back and smiled down at him.

            "You're all right now, little one.  Don't be afraid."  The boy blinked up at him, shrinking back against the blankets instinctively.  Laguna sat down beside him, tugging the blankets up to allow the boy to feel more protected.  He hadn't moved a muscle since he'd first begun to stir.

            Kiros stood at Luguna's back, peering down at the little blonde over Laguna's shoulder.

            "What's your name?"  He asked, keeping his voice as soft and unassuming as possible.

            The boy looked around the room, his eyes darting around like a cornered rabbit might before settling his attention back on Kiros and Laguna as though he were afraid to look away too long in case they decided to attack him.

            "L-Liric, sir."  He licked his lips again and spoke timidly, "Where is Cinder, please, where is she?"

            His voice was barely audible with a sweet, husky timbre.  Laguna was positively enchanted.

            "Kiros, where is Squall?  Would you go get him?"    

            Kiros nodded, glancing once more at the boy.  "He's outside, I'll send him in."

            Laguna nodded absently and patted Liric's hand.  "Squall is taking care of your kitten, sweeting, she's fine, I promise."

            Liric smiled then, so awkward and strained that Laguna wondered how long it had been since the boy had last smiled.  

            "Don't be afraid.  We'll take care of you."  He promised.  "When you're ready to get up, we'll draw you a bath and get you some clean clothes."

            Liric glanced up timidly.   "I have nothing to offer you, sir, in exchange for your kindness."

            Laguna blinked, and felt all that was protective in him sit up and clamber for recognition.

            "Oh, honey, you don't have to give us anything.  Just let us help you, that's all we want."

            Liric sniffled faintly and visibly struggled not to cry.  "But…why?"

            Squall entered the room to hear the boy's small, bewildered voice and he gave thanks, briefly, that Laguna had someone more needy to dote on.

            Seifer followed Squall into the room, holding the sleeping kitten in the curve of his arm.  It was curled into a small, furry ball, purring softly in a kitten's typical fashion, no rhythm whatsoever.  Liric sat up in the bed; eyes alight when he saw his kitten.

            "Cinder!"  He whispered, and he glanced at Seifer, remembering his quick violence on the docks.  He shrank back a little.

            Seifer grinned at him and, unlike Laguna, sauntered right over to the bed with no hesitation.

            "She bit me earlier, kid.  You owe me."

            Liric's lower lip began to tremble and his eyes got impossibly wide.  

            "I-I…"

            Laguna elbowed Seifer and gave him the Loire glare of death.

            "Stop scaring him and give him his kitten."  

            Seifer looked back at Squall, the look on his face enough to bring a slight smile to Squall's lips.  He nodded toward the bed.  "Give him his cat, Seifer."

            Seifer frowned, feeling incredibly unappreciated as Squall amused himself at his expense.

            But as he knelt over the bed and handed Liric the sleeping kitten, Squall's smile faded and he remembered instead, how Seifer had swept the unconscious boy up into his arms and held him protectively as he'd carried him toward the ship.

            Seifer glanced back, over his shoulder, in time to catch the soft, reflective look in Squall's eyes.  He smiled and for a moment, no one else existed.

            Laguna cleared his throat, watching carefully as Liric snuggled the little gray ball of fur against his cheek.

            "See?  Your Cinder is just fine."

            Squall took a step toward the bed, glancing up at Seifer as he did so.

            "You're safe with us."

            Liric blinked, eyes wide and questioning, though he spoke not a word.  His question, however silent, was recognizable enough, however, and he couldn't hide the fear in his eyes.

            _Safe with the Sorceress' Knight?_

            But as he stroked his kitten, felt the contented rumble of her purr; he smiled, raising his eyes to Seifer's.

            "Thank you…Sir Almasy."

            No one spoke for a moment, and as Seifer reached for Squall's hand, Kato came tearing into the room, eyes bright with excitement.

            "Yeefrickin'ha!  They're about to hold a wet t-shirt contest on the main deck!"

            Kiros closed his eyes…and sighed.

I realize that this isn't much in the way of the story, but hey, I needed to bridge somewhere, and this was it.  Perhaps it will get me back on track, even though I know precisely where this story is going. Feedback is always welcome!


	18. Chapter Eighteen

Chapter 18

**_Baby's got a temper_**

 The slight boy stood at the ship's railing, his small, pale hand curled around the steel rail, where the paint flaked off and became sharp in places.  He cradled a sleeping kitten in the crook of his other arm, whispered sweet little nonsense to it while the night wind whipped his flaxen hair about his shoulders.  When he turned his head, the light of the full moon lit his features in angelic profile; and Kato stood back, wreathed in shadow, and just watched.  

"I know you're scared, too, Cinder, but where else do we have to go?  Laguna likes us,  Mr. Leonhart likes us, and I think Mr. Almasy likes us as well.  We should stay with people who can protect us."

He chattered on, speaking softly, as though the kitten were wide awake and able to comprehend his words and his reasoning.  Kato knew he was only speaking to reassure himself, to lessen his fear and Kato felt a little tug at his heart.  Never in his life had he felt any emotion like it, and he was hard-pressed to put a name to it.  

Kato moved toward him, slowly, tentatively, like one might approach a frightened, wild creature and Liric's whispery voice became a little clearer.

"Little cold to be out here with no coat, isn't it, beautiful?"  Kato's voice was low and teasing as he draped the small blanket around the boy's shoulders.  Liric jumped, startled and began backing up, his eyes wide.  Kato held up his hands, stopped advancing.

"It's just me, little one.  Don't be scared."

Liric sighed and slid his hand over the railing, hissing softly when he scraped his palm over a dented, jagged piece of metal.  Kato was by his side immediately, taking his hand, turning it palm up to inspect it.  Liric turned his head, eyes squeezed shut.

"Is it bleeding?  Oh, tell me it's not bleeding!"

Kato smiled, watching Liric's pretty face, so drawn and taut with fear over something so inconsequential.

"No, it's not bleeding, it's just a scratch."

Liric opened one eye and looked over slowly, pale lower lip caught between his teeth.  Kato tickled the palm of his hand with his fingertips and laughed softly when Liric giggled, a heart-stopping smile lighting up his strange purple eyes.  Kato's breath caught for a moment.  He'd never seen anything so beautiful.  Ever.

"Come back to the stateroom with me.  Uncle Laguna wants to see you tucked into bed before he turns in."

Liric huddled into his blanket, smiling shyly when Kato tugged it tighter around him. 

"Oh, please be careful of Cinder."  Liric entreated, quick to pull the edges back around the small animal's face.  Kato grinned and helped him, tucking Liric's hand back inside the blanket and arranging it around his little pet.

"There.  Your baby is all snug and warm, see?"

Liric smiled again, peeking up through long, thick lashes.  "Thank you, Kato."

Kato slid his arm around the smaller boy's shoulders and led him back toward their rooms, where Laguna had probably turned back the bed and managed to locate an electric blanket for them.

"I'm staying with you tonight, Lir.  That okay with you?"

Liric was silent for a moment, his mind replaying the day's events in rapid rewind, until he stopped on the frame of Kato, smirking wickedly, licking someone else's blood from the point of a blade.  

"Yes.  That would be very nice, Kato, thank you."

Kato leaned his head against Liric's and bumped him with his hip, which drew a breathy giggle from the boy.  Kato smiled to himself.

"Kato?"  

"Yeah, angelface?"

"Is Laguna really your uncle?"

Seifer came out of the bathroom, towel draped over his shoulders, hair still dripping.  His pants hung low on his hips, as most drawstring pants had a tendency to do on a man, and Squall silently thanked whoever had designed them in the first place.

"Feel better?"  He asked his big golden lover, who favored him with a boyish smile and an involuntary little flex of his muscles.

"Much.  You gonna grab a shower before bed?"

Squall just stared at him.  Shouldn't the answer to that question be obvious?

"Of course I am.  I've been sweating all day."

Seifer shrugged, began to towel his hair dry as he regarded Squall with the tiniest bit of amusement.  

"Who said you were done sweating?"  

Squall's lips twisted in a shadow of a scowl, faint blush pinkening his cheeks.  He hated that Seifer had the power to make him blush.  He was a mercenary for the love of Hyne.  Mercenaries didn't _blush._

He rolled off the bed, letting his uneven bangs fall into his eyes, shielding them from view.  He missed Seifer's grin, one of pure masculine amusement.

"I'm going to shower.  I hope you saved me some hot water."  He sounded a little petulant, even to his own ears.  Seifer popped him right on his leather clad ass with his wet towel.  

That time, Squall scowled.

"Real mature, Almasy."

Seifer chuckled as the door closed behind Squall, and he draped his towel over a chair.  Apprehension warred with a bit of excitement as he glanced up at his own reflection in the mirror.  Over nine months had passed since he'd fled Balamb Garden with all the self importance and misguided fancy that only a dreamer could possess.  He didn't look much different, didn't feel much different, either.  But he had changed, and he was very much aware of that fact.  He wondered, again, if the others would see him for what he truly was, and not the killer he used to be.

He turned his eyes away, unable to meet his own gaze any longer, and sat down on the edge of the bed, listening to the sound of water running in the next room.  He pictured Squall there, standing beneath the spray, rivulets of water streaming over his flesh, alabaster and perfect.

_And mine_…

He sighed heavily, ran a hand through his damp, disheveled hair and knew the moment of truth was close at hand.  If he wanted to keep Squall, he was going to have to tell him the truth about his none too distant past.  And just hope that he would understand.  And that he would forgive him, as he'd done so many times already.

When Squall emerged from the bathroom, dressed for bed and smelling faintly of soap, Seifer's reverie was broken, and his thoughts dissipated.  

Squall smiled, that funny little half-smile that still looked like a grimace at times, and he leaned in the doorway, arms crossed over his chest.

"Now who's thinking too much?"  He asked lightly, one brow a perfect sardonic arc.  

Seifer shook his head and lay back on the mattress, which was, he was rapidly discovering, not going to measure up to Palace standards.  

"The bed sucks."

Squall switched off the light and moved to the small window to open it, the scent of the sea ushered in on a chill wind.  He shuddered slightly.  Seifer rolled his head to one side, watching the outline of Squall's body, his heart feeling as though it were in a vise.  

What if he didn't understand, wasn't willing to listen?  What if he wouldn't forgive him this time?  It didn't bear thinking about.

"Come to bed, Squall."

Squall smiled, moved to the bed to kneel beside Seifer.

"Relax.  Everything will be all right."

Seifer looked up at him, gaze wary.  "You say that like you know it for a fact."

Squall settled in beside him, nestling his head on Seifer's chest, just below his chin.  Seifer's arms went around him automatically, and Squall felt him sigh.

"I don't.  Not really.  But I know our friends, and they'll be just as happy to see you alive as I was."  He turned his head to press a kiss to Seifer's throat.  "Well.  Maybe not as happy as _I_ was, but…"

Seifer laughed silently and he hugged Squall tighter.  "I sure hope not.  Although…that might make for one hell of a homecoming.  I always wanted to see how Quistis would…"

Squall smacked his arm, which did nothing more than further Seifer's amusement.  

"That's not funny."  He muttered.

Seifer moved quickly, rolling Squall beneath him, pinned his wrists to the mattress.  Squall's expression did not alter, and he regarded Seifer with those solemn quicksilver eyes.  Seifer responded with a suggestive roll of his hips.

"Or that pretty cowboy, maybe.  Hells, might as well throw chickenwuss in the mix, too, hm?"

Squall turned his head, then, affected at last although Seifer couldn't have known the real reason behind his retreat.  And so he continued to tease.

"Selphie, maybe.  'Course, we'd need to get a ball gag for her or she'd talk us to death.  Hey, baby, whatever happened to the lovely Ms. Heartilly, while we're on the subject?"

Still smiling, Seifer's expression changed to one of confusion and concern when Squall shook him off, rolled to one side and began crawling up the length of the bed, drawing that familiar frosty demeanor around him like a mantle.

"Squall?"

Seifer didn't follow him, but instead sat where he was, watching Squall distance himself from him just as easily as he'd initiated closeness only seconds ago.  He didn't answer.

"Squall, I was just kidding.  C'mon, you know that."

Squall shook his head, brushed his hair out of his eyes.  "No, it's not that."

Moving slowly toward him, then, Seifer settled directly across from him to sit cross-legged, only barely leaning toward him.

"What is it?  Tell me."

Squall took a deep breath and lifted his gaze to Seifer's.  "It's about Zell."

"Zell?  What's wrong with him?"

Squall picked absently at a thread on the bedcover.  "Nothing.  I just wanted to tell you something before we got back to Garden and you figured it out on your own."

Seifer remained silent after that, waiting for Squall to say what he needed to say, and at his own pace.  He'd never had to pull information out of Squall and he didn't intend to start now.

"After time compression, after the war was over, Rinoa went back to Timber.  I think she had her own agenda from the beginning, actually."  He glanced up at Seifer, his gaze lingering on the sleek, fine lines of his neck and shoulders.  And he knew, no matter what it cost, or who it hurt, he could never turn his back on the man across from him.  Not ever again.

_I'm sorry, Zell._

"But she's not what I wanted to talk to you about."

Seifer told himself, even as his heartbeat quickened, that he had nothing to worry about.  Squall loved him, of that he was certain.

"What is it, Squall?"

Squall sighed again, obviously uneager to begin this conversation.  "One night, had to have been three or four weeks after Rinoa had gone, Zell came to my room.  To tell me something."

Seifer's eyes narrowed slightly.  "What did he want?"

Squall licked his lips, looked up at Seifer.  "Me."

Seifer blinked, letting the implication of Squall's words settle in.  He wasn't surprised.  Quite the opposite, actually, as he'd known, as long as he'd known that he wanted Squall, that Dincht wanted him, too.  It was patently obvious to everyone except Squall himself.

"Why are you telling me this, Squall?  Are you expecting me to compete with Dincht or something?"

He was doing his best to keep his temper under wraps and not reveal, in his voice, precisely how irritated he was.

Squall scowled.  "No.  Don't be an idiot."

Seifer sat back, his expression mild.  "Oh, now I'm an idiot."

Rolling his eyes, Squall nudged Seifer with his foot, rapidly becoming as irritated as the big jealous blonde seated across from him.

"What I'm trying to tell you is that before I left to find you, Zell and I…"  He frowned; he hated talking about this kind of thing.  With anyone.  "He and I were…"

"Dating.  You were dating the chicken."

Squall nudged him again.  "We were not dating.  And don't call him that.  He told me how he felt and I was trying to…deal with it."

Seifer nodded slowly.  "And then you changed your mind.  Why?"

Squall shrugged.  "I didn't change my mind.  It wasn't like that."

Seifer quirked a brow at him.  "No?  How was it, then?"

Squall sprung then, pushing Seifer back against the bed, pinning his shoulders, shaggy chocolate colored hair brushing his cheekbones.

"Listen to me, you big dumbass.  I'm trying to tell you that no matter what Zell said to me, no matter what I tried to feel, I couldn't forget about you.  Could never stop wondering where you were and whether or not you were still alive."

Seifer didn't fight him and simply looked up into the molten gaze of Balamb's Lion.  He couldn't fault Zell.  Would never even attempt to.

"And you found me.  I'm all yours, the way it should have been from the very beginning."  Seifer inhaled sharply as Squall arched toward him, leaving no doubt as to where his passion had turned.  "Are you still going to want me, and only me, when we're back at Garden, when Zell is there, offering himself with every word that he doesn't say?"

Squall stretched out over Seifer, tangling his legs around his lover's.  

"It's always been you, Seifer.  I don't have to tell you that."

Something in the tone of his voice, something in the way he moved against him, made it all irrelevant.  All he'd ever dared to hope for, had been given to him in the few short days since Squall Leonhart had walked back into his life.  He knew that whatever else Squall had to tell him simply didn't matter.  Not anymore.

Voice quiet and rough with barely restrained passion, Seifer resisted the urge to arch up against Squall's erection.  While he didn't want to start off with two strikes against him, he wouldn't feel guilty for claiming was destined to be his in the first place.  He resolved to try to make Zell understand, when they returned.  They would all realize, eventually, that he could be trusted.  

"You belong to me, Squall.  You're mine and I'm yours.  Nothing can change it."

Squall fell upon him then, with questing hands and heated kisses, and when he'd freed Seifer from the confines of his pants, he began to kick out of his own.  Seifer helped him, tossing the thin pants aside and immediately pulling Squall back into his arms, plying him with kisses that could leave no doubt as to the extent of his desperation, his need.

With his knees raised, gripping Seifer's sides, Squall ground his erection against his lover's, sliding back, then forward, causing Seifer to hiss with pleasure.  Rubbing against him, framing Seifer's face with his hands, Squall kissed him with all the emotion he could call forth and Seifer responded in kind, sucking his tongue further into his mouth as though he were trying to devour him.

Hands sliding over Squall's back, gripping his ass tightly, Seifer clung to him as his movements became more frenzied.  He was racing toward completion and challenging Seifer to follow him.  Just as he'd always done.

"Squall…"  A warning, a plea, Seifer wasn't certain. 

Squall turned his head and bit him sharply on the shoulder, causing him to arch his back, Squall's name escaping him in a low, urgent moan.

"I had to tell you…Seifer."  He was panting, gasping for the breath necessary to form words.  "Had to…"

Seifer nodded, ready to agree to anything, anything Squall had to say as he strained toward release, orgasm a shining precipice only a hand's reach away.  "Yes….Squall…"

Squall leaned close, hands pressed against Seifer chest and he whispered, his breath hot against Seifer's ear.  "No secrets."

Seifer closed his eyes, bared his neck to Squall, and moaned his name with the last bit of coherent thought that was left within him to expend.  Squall raced close behind, the friction too intense to resist any longer, and when he sank his teeth into Seifer's neck, breaking the skin with a low, triumphant growl, Seifer caught his breath and came undone in his arms.

When the first drop hit his skin, Squall's eyes rolled back and he tongued the place at Seifer's neck that had just began to well with blood.  And he came.  Hard and fast and slippery against him, he came.  

And he whispered, again, "No secrets…"

The dread and the apprehension engulfed him even before Squall's seed had begun to cool on his belly.  He was running out of time.

_No, Squall.  No secrets._

~The plot thickens!  Next chapter…Reunion time.  And lots and lots of Zelly.~


End file.
